Here in New York City, I'm witnessed to a lot of crazy fashion choices that leave me scratching my head. But this latest fad among men is driving me bat shit insane! I've always heard of the man purse (or "murse")--which is also called a man bag--but the ones I've seen that are favored by European men look nothing like this. This is going too far! What's next, matching pumps and hoop earrings?
The first time I saw this, I was walking down the street. The guy in front of me had a full-on woman's bag hanging from his shoulder. It wasn't a messenger bag. *I* have a messenger bag--it's the type of bag you can fit a laptop into. In my day it was called a satchel.
But this . . . this is a completely different animal.
I mean, WTF? This is not cool. I know that as a man we sometimes need a place to stick our extra crap just like women. In my case, I'm constantly carrying around loads of books, papers, magazines, and work files. That's what a messenger bag is for. But this thing with big, loopy straps and supple leather exterior? Um, no. That my friend is a purse. Or handbag. Or whatever women call it. But the important thing is, it's for WOMEN!
On the subway, I saw another man with a similar type bag slung over one shoulder. But this one had a black & white tiger print pattern. You heard me right: TIGER FUCKING PRINT! I'm waiting to see rainbows and kisses next. Or maybe X's and O's written in pink lipstick all up and down the bag. *barf*
I'm thinking of starting my own photo essay collection, that's how bad it's getting. I'll take my camera with me wherever I go, and when I see one of these walking vaginas around town, I'm going to snap pics and post them on Flicker. Then you'll know I'm not kidding around here.
What I thought was just an odd sighting or two has recently blown up to a full out invasion in this city. And I'm sure it's not limited to just New York. Oh, and before you ask: no, these dudes did not seem like they were gay to me. I mean, I can't exactly tell of course. But from what my limited abilities can deduce, these guys are straight. They've just been brainwashed by this metrosexual phase that's been sweeping the country over the past several years.
And it needs to stop. I mean, seriously!