Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Someone Needs Glasses (And It Ain't Me)

So apparently, according to some people, my wife and I look like we're related. As in, by blood.

Yeah, I'll just let that sink in for a moment.

Say WHAT???? Okay, now someone first made this retarded observation back when Lisa and I first started seeing each other and I was visiting her at her college freshmen year. Some girl was standing on the porch to her dorm and said: "Are your two related? Because you look like brother and sister."

I was so completely bowled over by the ridiculousness of this statement that I think my brain warped to another dimension. I mean, I just stood there drawing a blank. It was the single most unbelievable thing anyone had said to me at the time, and I just didn't know how to respond. Eventually we just laughed and walked away. I told Lisa that I think that girl was jealous of us, that's the only explanation I could come up with. She did have kind of a stank attitude when she said it--and she was black, too--so maybe she didn't like seeing a white/hispanic dude hooking up with a black woman. I don't know. Seems kind of stupid, no? Especially because of our obviously different ethnicities.

So, chalk it up to some chick hating on us. Or maybe she was on the crack, I don't know. But certainly it was no cause for worry on my part.

But, here's the rub. We've since heard that remark on more than a few occasions, the latest being on our most recent trip. One of the locals told us that we looked alike, like as if we were brother and sister.

*blinks*

Exsqueeze me? Bakin' powder? What the hell are you on, I had to wonder.

But now, you see, this time I'm mad! How on god's green Earth can you possibly think we look related? My new theory is that maybe these people are unwittingly tuning into the close bond my wife and I share. I know there's a myth that married couples start to look like each other, but come on! We're not talking about matching outfits and personalized fanny packs here! There's no way in hell you can look at a white guy and a black woman and say they must be related. You just can't do it. It violates the space-time continuum!

Anyway, just so you can see what I'm talking about, I'm posting up a few pics of Lisa and I through the years. Judge for yourself: do we look like brother and sister? (hint: you're going to get a personally hand-delivered punch to the face if you answer yes)















EDIT: Added two extra pics for more examples, the first and last ones.

6 comments:

Rodney said...

First off, let me just say that I'm still in shock from seeing so many pictures of you in one sitting. I'm still used to you controlling photos of yourself like gold in Fed. Reserve.

Second, I don't believe you and your wife look blood-related. However, you can both be classified as having above average attractiveness.

I've seen a bunch of Discovery Channel specials on the topic of human attractiveness and they talk about universal traits that humans find attractive. The biggest one is symmetry. In really looking at you & your wife, I find that both your faces are very symmetrical.

The best explanation of this is in BBC's The Human Face, where they have a segment explaining how a plastic surgeon developed a wire frame "mask" that is the mathematically perfect version of a symmetrical human face. Then to prove the point that this is the key to being beautiful, he overlaid the mask on photos of multiple celebrities known for their good looks across races & genders and THEY ALL MATCHED the mask. For more info check out this site: http://www.beautyanalysis.com

While I don't believe you and your wife look blood related, to the "unwashed masses" the fact that you and your wife have such highly symmetrical faces could be mis-interpreted as familial resemblance.

Those are my two cents on the subject.

David Batista said...

Wow, I wasn't expecting that explanation. It's an interesting theory, this symmetry thing, Rodney. I don't know if that's what people are seeing, but maybe.

And, aww . . . thanks for the compliments. :)

Oh, and yes, it's rare to see pics of me, considering my natural reticence to be seen. And also the practical fact that I'm usually the one handling the camera on our trips. So pics of me are doubly rare!

Maybe I'll post more.

Kim Kasch said...

I would say that you look alike - in that you are two young'ish, attractive individuals ;-)

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

People are crazy. That's my explanation. When my husband and I go to Denmark, to visit his family - people always say they think I'm the Dane...HUH?

Craziness is international.

David Batista said...

Kim, LOL! And, yeah, you *do* look rather European, I must say. Whatever that means. :)

cindy said...

well, hell. i don't want to get punched or anything. i happen to think m and i look alike in some ways. haha! we both have full mouths and similar smiles. and buggy eyes. =D and yes, it's considered a good thing, when man and wife begin to look alike according to chinese.

David Batista said...

Aww, you know I was just kidding. No punchies headed your way, Cin! :)

And I actually never heard that said by the Chinese. Hmm, learn something new. Interesting concept, though. Never thought it might be a compliment.

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