Saturday, November 14, 2009

That Which Attracts . . .

Over at my friend's, Tarrell Childs, blog, he deconstructs just what it is that he finds attractive in the opposite sex. You can read about it by clicking here.

I don't have quite as much to say about the subject, because it's dawned on me that I actually have very few "rules" when it comes to that which attracts me. I don't have a laundry list of specific attributes the way a lot of my female friends do, it seems. But, that being said, even I must admit that I have a few archetypes I tend to base my decisions on:

In matters physical, I'm not very picky. Tall, short, black, white . . . makes no difference. I'm not particularly all that attractive to muscular women, or women that use even moderate amounts of makeup. I prefer plain, down-to-earth looks. The closer she comes to looking like a model, the less interested I am.

I am more attracted to skinny women than overweight ones, however, only because it's personally important to me for all people--men and women alike--to follow simple health guidelines. It's one of the few biases I have.

Some people prefer one specific "race" or color of skin--the closer to their own, the better. Not me. I find such criteria petty and base. As long as she's healthy and down-to-earth, that's all that matters to me. It probably has to do with the fact that I belong to no one group of people. Neither of my parents' people accept me for who I am, so I belong to no specific pride-set. And because of this, I'm open to all people. Strange how that works, huh?

As for non-physical traits? I've already alluded to some of them, but here goes anyway:

I prefer women who don't obsess over their looks, i.e.: they have more important things to do with their time than spend 2 hours in front of the mirror applying makeup and trying to look "just right."

Quiet, shy, or reserved types over loud, confrontational or bigoted ones. Having an opinion and not being afraid to express it does not count as the latter set, and is something I highly value in a companion, in fact. Hot-heads and women who lose their cool are definite turn-offs.

Tomboys over prissy, Barbie doll debutantes. If you grew up playing house with your dollies and dreaming of being a homemaker . . . eh, no!

Women who can be the equal of a man, and not subservient to one. And, no, quiet or reserved types are not automatically subservient. There is a difference.

And, lastly: intelligence! And I don't mean intelligent in a superior, stuffy, or academic sort of way. Just someone who is not afraid to confront their own shortcomings, accept them, and then find a way to overcome them. This is true intelligence to me. Also, the ability to appreciate subtle humor is a must. This is my personal litmus test of intelligence, in fact. A good sense of humor is the key to seeing through life's bullshit. If you don't have one, you're doomed to suffer fools eternally. And nobody wants that.

P.S. -- If you go around spouting to all who can hear about how "smart" you are. Um, no. Chances are you're the opposite. True intelligence is knowing you don't have to prove it.

So there you go, a little insight into what I find attractive in others. I don't have that one set, specific visual in mind. Not that one image in my head that all women have to measure up to. I'm very relaxed in my criteria.

Of course, that all being said, it's no surprise that my wife measures up to ALL of these traits. All the positive ones, I mean. :) And while I wouldn't look for her exact twin if we were ever to go our separate ways . . . I'd be hard-pressed to do any better!

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