Monday, February 15, 2010

Two Observations On Valentine's Day

We don't celebrate V-Day, Lisa and I. Not hating on the holiday at all, just isn't all that necessary for us. So today we spent a nice, stress-free day watching movies downtown near Union Square. Now that we're back, I have two observations to pass on to you:

1) Don't show up to a movie in NYC on time. Please, save us all the trouble of hearing your ignorant ass bitch and moan about how there aren't any seats left and how you paid good money for tickets. Um, hello? Have you been in the city long? Get to the theater 30 minutes early (at least) or don't come at all. Definitely don't come in 15 minutes late and stumble through the dark, blocking everyone's view, only to realize the place is packed. Get out the way, dumb ass. And next time, grow a brain.

2) If you are single, male, and it's V-Day: don't walk around the city saying "Fuck Valentine's Day!" You only come across as pathetic and a loser. Nothing shouts "buster" more than a man with no girl pontificating about how the holiday is just made up by "the man" to generate greeting cards and candy sales. I mean, seriously. Go home and play with yourself, and spare the rest of us your sob story bullshit, okay? Thanks!

And there you have it. Some simple insights into New York City life for those natives who should know better.

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

2 comments:

Kim Kasch said...

Me and my sweetie went to see a romantic movie - well I guess The Wolfman isn't romantic but spending the day with someone you love is...right?

David Batista said...

We watched the Wolfman, too! I actually liked it.

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