Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Now, What If I Had Been A Serial Killer?

This is why texting will be the death of people.

The other night I took the wife to see Knight and Day -- the latest action spy-thriller starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Awesome movie, btw. Very well put together, with plenty of humor to boot!

Anyway, as we were leaving the theater, my wife needed to use the restroom. Fine. I waited outside. Lo and behold, a very young petite Asian woman wanders over to me with her eyes glued to her phone's screen and her fingers texting a mile a minute. She stands so close to me that she's damn near pressing her body against my arm.

Weird, I think. So I step a few feet to the right to give her some space.

Not taking her eyes off her phone, she immediately follows and continues standing uncomfortably close to me. I think I figured out what's going on: she assumed I was her boyfriend, who I had noticed earlier was wearing a similar black t-shirt to mine.

Rather than say something and have to deal with numerous apologies (which I hate, btw) . . . I create an even bigger distance between us. Surely she must be wondering why her "boyfriend" is avoiding her like the plague and look up, no?


Yet again, she comes right up on me, still texting away.

Okay, she definitely has me mistaken for someone else. To make matters worse, I see her tilt her head towards me--eyes still glued to her screen--as if about to ask me something. Oh, great! So I turn my head away to pretend like I'm not aware of what's going on.

See, I'm not one of those people that enjoys when other people mess up. If someone trips going up some stairs, I'm not laughing. Shit like that is not funny to me. Nor do I need to laugh out of feeling uncomfortable for that person. Either way, laughing makes the other person feel like shit. And that's not cool. I take it one step further, though, in that I actively try to not let other people make fools of themselves around me.

I know, it's a losing battle.

Anyway . . . so this girl is about to say something to me. I'm looking away, hoping that she realizes the error of her ways and not feel the need to say sorry a hundred times while laughing awkwardly.

And it works!

She stops before the first word can come out, and I think I feel her staring at me for a second or two longer than is necessary. I mean, it seriously takes her 15 seconds to finally register what's going on. And when she does, she makes this funny sound and IMMEDIATELY takes off as if stung by a bee!

Her boyfriend was just coming out of the men's room at this point, and she quickly ran to him and locked her arms around his. I could hear her excitedly telling him everything that had just happened, and mention ". . . the same shirt!" I looked over and smiled at that, just a quick acknowledgment that I did indeed know what had just happened. They both laughed and continued on their way.

When Lisa came out of the ladies room, I related the incident and she got a kick out of that. Although she told me I'm too nice for my own good, and that she would have said: "Hey, back up off me bitch!"

Haha . . . no, she wouldn't have done that. I know her better than that. She's polite to people just as I am.

Still, this just goes to show the inherent danger to our society in being too tied up in our tech gadgets and fads. Remember to LOOK UP every now and then, people, and take stock of what's going on around you. Because if you don't, next time it might not be a nice guy like me standing around.


  1. U R so nice. I think I might have said something - don't know what. But it's more likely I would have been the girl texting away than the "innocent" bystander - or perhaps not so innocent.

  2. LOL! I'm *always* the innocent bystander. :)


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