Monday, February 21, 2011

My Little Writing Experiment . . .

So, yesterday I posted up the opening scene to my latest short story, "Terra Germinatus", in an attempt to test out the "Pages" ability on Blogger, but to also get some early feedback in the comments section. It went over so well that I thought I'd continue this little experiment and do something I've never done before on this blog -- post up the entire story for folks to read and comment upon.

So, if you click on the story's title above, you'll be taken to the full text as it now sits on my home PC. This is with the provided caveat, naturally, that the piece is still a work in progress. It still needs to be refined, and I can't rule out a complete dredging and rewrite of the two middle scenes. Personally I think the scene in the General Store is a little long in the tooth and perhaps unnecessary. But I'm not sure yet.

Now, I don't want anyone to do an in-depth analysis of the story. Not unless you REALLY have the time and inclination, and are willing to e-mail it to me. But seriously, I don't require that from anybody. Just your quick reactions and notes in the comments section should suffice for now. This is not intended to be a stroke-my-ego experiment, but rather a chance to gather some honest and constructive criticism on the fly.

Whether you want to offer it up or not is up to you. At the very least, I hope you do read the story and enjoy. That is to say, as much as you can possibly garner enjoyment from a tale about the world being overrun by conquesting alien plant life, and all hope being lost for a woman and her family.

Seriously, this is not a feel-good, happy tale. Not all my stories are like this, though. In fact, this might just be the most depressing of them all. And yet I still like it.

And I hope you do, too!


Kim Kasch said...

You've got guts - I'll give you that.

I'll try to read then come back to comment. :)

David Batista said...

There's a few other published writers out there who do the same thing on their blogs. So I'm not exactly being original here in this little experiment. :) Plus, the finished product is probably going to be much different than this draft. That one I won't be putting up on the blog.

And whenever you have the time, Kim. Don't feel obligated. Read it at your own leisure.

Yvonne said...

This is the first time I read something of this genre all the way through. Normally, I lose interest right from the beginning. As I told you before, I'm not really into this type of writing. But the first part of the story that I read really kept me intrigued and so I just had to keep reading. I liked it. A LOT. It wasn't hard for me to follow or to understand. Remember, I'm the layman here. How did you come up with the idea for this story? I'm curious because it seems like this would take a long, long time and not something that just popped into your head. Thanks for sharing this David!

David Batista said...

Well, thanks very much! :)

Actually, I hate to say it . . . but this really did just "pop" into my head. It started with the scene where she's hitchhiking along the highway. That's what popped into my head initially. I saw her turn down three different offers, and just had to find out why. Over the course of a few days, I widened out from that one scene and figured out what she was doing hitchhiking there, and then why.

The General Store scene came next. And then the basement scene was last. My protag holding the gun in the bathroom was what brought it all together in the end for me, and that's when I knew it was time to sit down and write it.

This is my genre, though. Bizarre concepts like these are the bread and butter of writers who dwell in this space. So for me, the concept itself wasn't difficult. Rather, the POV and tone was.

Again, thanks for reading and for the kind words. I'm surprised I was able to hold your interest for that long. Yay!

Ashe Hunt said...

Well, well, well. I like it. I can tell it's a first draft but it's still very good. I love the title. It so fits! It is reminiscent of a story called "Safe Word" by Steven Barnes and Tanarive Due. I have to dig that out and let you read it. I'll send the rest privately for I don't want to ruin anything for others who come to read. I hope you don't change too much in the revision because it does flow. You've already got the katana all hammered out all you need now is the polishing! I can't wait!

David Batista said...

Ha--I love the analogy! Thanks for the kind words, my friend.

Botanist said...

Woo-hoo! Creepy! This is a nice twist on the alien invader theme, and well written. Nice one, David.

P.S. Haven't you spoiled any chance of publication now you've posted it here for all to see? I don't think this counts as "unpublished" now.

David Batista said...

No, this is just a rough draft. I'm actually planning a drastic rewrite. The scenes will be the same in structure, but probably not in POV or voice. The finished product should not be the same at all, so I don't anticipate any conflicts.

Unless you think this works as is? I personally don't.

Also, I can and will be taking this down shortly. Instead I'll put up some old stories of mine in its place -- stories that have no chance of being published because I've tried for years now and no go.

Oh, but thanks so much for reading! I was going to submit this to WoW, but I don't think I have the time to participate this round. Or, if I do, I'll submit the rewritten version (which I should be starting this weekend).

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