Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Ep. 7 Reactions: "You Win or You Die"

Okay, things are really getting interesting in Westeros. I'm so excited to get started on this episode that I'm just going to dive right in. Clicking on the trusty ole Tivo now. Selecting Game of Thrones, Episode 7 . . .

Oh, but before I do, please take a moment to check out my reactions to previous episodes by clicking their appropriate links below:

Episode 1: "Winter is Coming."
Episode 2: "The Kingsroad."
Episode 3: "Lord Snow."
Episode 4: "Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things."
Episode 5: "The Wolf and the Lion."
Episode 6: "A Golden Crown."

And now, let us begin the show!




HBO runs a quick "Previous On" as usual. Important things to remember:

Because Catelyn has captured Tyrion and accused him of conspiracy to murder, trouble is brewing between the houses Stark and Lannister. King Robert wants Tyrion released and the matter settled. In the meantime he goes out hunting boar for a few days while Ned takes his place on the throne and administer the kingdom.

While on duty as Hand, Ned learns of a Lannister raid on Riverrun lands -- the traditional seat of House Tully, Cat's household. He attaints the fearsome knight, Ser Gregor Clegane, for the atrocious act. He also summons the Mountain's master, Lord Tywin Lannister, to court to answer for his audacity.

Later, Ned learns that Prince Joffrey and Robert's other two children by Cersei are not the King's. They are, in fact, the result of the Queen's incestuous affair with her twin brother, Jaime Lannister. This is the secret Jon Arryn died for, and which Ned now possesses.

Viserys Targaryen gets fed up with having to wait for Khal Drogo to give him the army he's been promised. Drogo gives him what he wants . . . a crown of molten gold, poured over his head.


Opening title sequence remains the same this week. Nothing new to report here.


Oh crap. I see a field camp decked out in crimson, gold. and black -- Lannister colors! Seems like someone's getting a head start on the festivities, already amassing an army in preparation of all the shit that's about to hit the fan. And who's behind this army, pray tell?

Why, no shit? The Lord of Casterly Rock himself -- Tywin Lannister! At last, we finally get to see the big scary man everyone's been whispering about all season. The man the whole kingdom is in debt to, and whom Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion all call "pops."

Yup, he's -- WTF? He's gutting and skinning a fucking deer?

A stag, perhaps?

As the sigil of House Baratheon, I sincerely hope the symbology here in not lost on anyone. Lord Lannister, up to his elbows in the blood and guts of the crest that adorns King Robert's flags. Although this scene is not in the book, I'm loving it! It very effectively shows you that Tywin is not a man to be fucked with! He's ruthless, quick-thinking, and not afraid to literally get his hands dirty to do what needs to be done.

Tywin wonders why Ned is still alive. He says Jaime's vanity got in the way. Well, other people call that morality, dude. You should look it up in the dictionary sometime.

"I'm giving you half of our forces," he tells his son. "30,000 men. You will bring them to Catelyn Stark's girlhood home, and remind her that Lannisters pay their debts."

Fuck, I'm impressed! But things aren't looking good for the river lands . . .

Oh, and Charles Dance is doing a marvelous performance with this character. He pretty much nails him! Let me tell you now, if this series can be said to have a Big Bad -- this is him, folks. Tywin Lannister. Keep an eye on this cat.

Wow, this old dude is really going at it with that deer carcass. Perfectly gruesome!

Tywin puts Jaime in his place, hard!

"I need you to become the man you were always meant to be!"

Damn, Jaime looks shook by his pops' ultimatum. See, the thing about Jaime Lannister is . . . he just wants to be a knight of the Kingsguard. He doesn't want to be a king, or a general, or the Hand, or even Lord of Casterly Rock. He just wants to be a knight.

Keep this in mind from now on . . .


Aw fuck! Ned calls Cersei to one of the Red Keep's grottoes for a one-on-one chat. This is the scene I call: "Eddard's Big Mistake No. 1" in the books.

See, he gives Cersei a warning shot. No, man, NO! You do not do that! All is NOT fair in love and war, dammit! Never let the enemy see your hand, Ned. Don't you know that? I mean, fer FUCK'S SAKE -- you're the goddamn HAND!

So, yeah, he reveals all that he knows to her. True, she already knows he knows that her children are not of the Baratheon line. But Ned should be rallying the troops behind him now, not giving this snake with breasts time to plot and maneuver.

So, therefore, this is Eddard's Big Mistake No. 2.

Cersei: "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

Ding, ding, ding, ding! Cersei may be a conniving bitch, but she knows how the world runs. You either go all in, or you fold. There is no hedging your bets when the stakes are so high.

I'm sorry Ned, but you're too nice a guy for politics. That's why we love ya . . . but it's also why we fear for ya, too.



Haha! Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish at his brothel. I've heard about this scene from angry fans who got to watch the episode a week early. It's being dubbed the "sexposition" scene, referring to the penchant HBO has for explaining backstory whilst the sexy time is going on. Needless to say, this scene was not in the book. But I'm not complainin'!

It seems Ros, the hardest working whore in all the North, has made it to King's Landing after all. Littlefinger scolds her and her nubile friend while they demonstrate on each other that they know how to be good little whores.

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?"

LOL! Look at Littlefinger, laying down his PIMP HAND! He tells Ros to pretend she's the man and give it to the other new girl. Ros goes at it like a true champ, putting even the best of men to shame.

Borat walks in and gives his thumbs up of approval: "Very, very niiiiiice." Then he heads deeper into the brothel looking for Pamela Anderson. Because you just KNOW she has to be there somewhere.

But you see? We've been tricked! This is not about one whore fisting another, as lovely an image as that might be to some (or tacky to everyone else). No, no, no. This is about Littlefinger revealing why he's such a badass, while at the same time being sneakily vague about it.

As the girls go wild, he starts to talk about a certain someone he's been thinking about ever since he was a little boy. And we all know who THAT is, don't we now? A certain fiery red head married to the Hand . . .

Ros: "I do believe my Lord's in love."
Petyr: "For many years. Most of my life, really--play with her arse!"

Ros flips the no-named wonder on her belly and begins going at it hard from behind with her, er, HAND.

Littlefinger, without using names, talks about Cat and how she pretty much friend-zoned him from the beginning. Aww, poor guy! She had her eyes on Ned's brother, see? So of course little Littlefinger challenged Brandon Stark to a duel. Only, this was no David and Goliath story. Ned's older brother whupped his ass but good! Left him with a nasty scar to this day.

Shit, so this dude must have been carrying a grudge against the big mighty noble Lords of the realm all this time. And one noble family in particular -- the Starks!

Petyr: "I'm not going to fight them, I'm going to FUCK them! That's what I know, that's what I am. And only by admitting what we are can we get what we want."

Ah, lovely! What an excellent revealing moment. I hope you all are starting to see something here. Keep it in mind for later.

I know some of you questioned why I have so much animosity toward this guy. Well, listen to what he just said and really think about it. This guy has a grudge to bear, and he's learned that someone like him needs to be a bit more clever to get what he ultimately wants . . .


Hey look, an Osha scene! She's the scruffy looking wildling girl that was part of a group trying to steal Bran's horse last episode, remember? She was spared and brought back to Winterfell. Some of you might recognize her as Tonks from the Harry Potter movies. I think she's perfect!

LOL! That punk Theon is getting a little too big for his britches. He admonishes Osha and tells her that she better call him "lord" when she addresses him. See, he enjoys throwing his weight around people he perceives as beneath him. Basically, the very definition of ASSHOLE!

But Tonks -- I mean, Osha, don't play that shit.

Theon: "My father is Balon Greyjoy, lord of the Iron Islands."
Osha: "What's that gotta do wit you? If your father's Lord, how can you be 'lord" too?"
Theon: "I will be lord after my father--"
Osha: "So you're not lord now?"
Theon: "No, you . . .  . . . are you having a go at me?"

LOL! Homeboy just got SCHOOLED by the wild girl. Gotta love it!

Eventually Maester Luwin walks in to prevent things from getting out of hand. And now it's Theon's turn to be reminded of his place:

Luwin: "The lady is our guest."
Theon: "Thought she was our prisoner."
Luwin: "Are the two mutually exclusive in your experience?"

OH SNAP! I said it before and I'll say it again, this old dude's got jokes! HAHAHAHA!!!

Osha explains to Luwin why she was found south of the Wall, something wildlings get killed for if they are captured by any Westerosi. But it appears there's something far worse stirring in the North beyond the Wall where the wildlings live in scattered tribes.

Osha: "There's things that sleep in the day, and hunt in the night."
Luwin: "The things you speak of -- they've been gone for thousands of years."
Osha: "They wasn't gone, old man. They was sleeping. And they ain't sleeping no more."

Um . . . *gulp* Looks like Old Nan wasn't just flapping her gums when she spoke of the White Walkers and their dead mounts.

Wow, that just properly freaked me the fuck out! I got goosebumps. Cool scene!


YAY! It's about FUCKING time! Woo-hooo! We get a Jon and Sam scene at the Night's Watch. After two whole episodes without them.

Samwell: "I miss girls! Not even talking to them--I never talk to em! Just looking at them, hearing them giggle . . ."

Aww, poor Sam. He's such a lovable fella, though, ain't he? Jon is a good man for sticking by him and seeing his worth.

Oooh . . . ahhhh! I love the look of the wilderness beyond the Wall from so high on top. I would love to be a bird and just fly over all that. And those of you who have read the later books, you already know that's not a an altogether impossible feat in this world.

But enough about that.

Jon spies a Ranger's horse coming back to the Wall at breakneck speed -- sans its Ranger!

Uh-oh. Looks like it's Uncle Benjen's horse. But what the hell happened to Uncle Benjen?


Aw shit. The scene I've been secretly dreading all this time. Well one of them, anyway. Renly comes running up to Ned in the halls of the Red Keep, covered in blood.

Looks like something went wrong during Robert's hunting trip. Something to do with a boar . . .

Yup, that's right. Ole King Robbie drank way too much wine and ended up getting gutted by a wild pig when he missed his target.

Aww, fuck!

Robert is giving his son "the speech" before he goes. The "you're the man of the house now, lad" talk. Be a good King and  . . .

Except, wait! This punk ass isn't his real son. And Ned doesn't have the heart to tell Robert the truth on his death bed.

Holy SHIT! I never thought I would say this, but I actually have some compassion for Joffrey here. It's short lived, trust me. But he honestly looks upset. See, he also doesn't know that he's not Robert's son. Just one more reason why Cersei is such a BIATCH!

Robert orders everyone out except Ned. He has his Hand record his last will and succession.

"Write down what I say: In the name of Robert, of the House Baratheon, first of the -- ah! You know how it goes. Fill in the damn titles!"

LOL! Even in death he still manages to be funny. I'm going to miss this terrible mess of a fool.

"I hereby command Eddard, of House Stark . . . titles, titles . . ."

He assigns Ned as his Lord Regent and Protector of the Realm upon his death, to rule for him until his son Joffrey comes of age.

But, hey? What's this? Does Ned actually make a good decision for once? Why yes, yes HE DOES! A fantastic one, in fact! Instead of writing "my son Joffrey," the Hand writes "my rightful heir." How's that for some awesome sauce?

Robert tells his old friend that he was right about Daenerys. He tells him to stop the assassination attempt if it's not too late. Ned is glad to say yes.

Robert signs the declaration, and instructs Ned to give it to the council upon his death.

Take that, Queen Bitch!

Ah, if only . . .


Outside Robert's chambers, Ned sees Ser Barristan and the Spider, Varys the Eunuch. Varys points out rather archly that it was the King's squire, Lancel Lannister, who kept plying Robert with wine during the hunt.

"Such a dutiful boy, to make sure his Grace did not lack refreshment. I do hope the poor lad does not blame himself."

Those damn Lannisters again! Grrrrrr! And damn you, Varys, for being so damn manipulative. Fat fucker!

Ned tells the Spider to rescind the kill order on Dany Targaryen. But Varys has some bad news: it may already be too late!

"Those birds have already flown. The girl is likely dead already."


Meanwhile, across the sea at Vaes Dothrak, the "girl" is very much alive. She's braiding the hair of her beloved husband, Khal Drogo.

Aww, see? Didn't I tell you guys theirs would turn out to be a happy relationship? Don't you feel so warm and fuzzy now?

Good, because where we're going . . .

Oh fuck, what am I doing? Not yet!

Carry on.

Dany tries to convince Drogo to cross the sea with his men and take the Iron Throne. Her mastery of the Dothraki language is coming along, but she still slips up every now and then. Drogo lovingly corrects her, but he doesn't see any reason to risk such a venture.

"A King does not need a chair to sit upon. He only needs a horse."

Uh, no dude. If only it were that simple. He's a lot like Ned in that the Khal doesn't understand what really goes on behind the scenes in this world. He's not much of a game player. Nor does he want to be, it seems. Dany on the other hand . . .


Uh-oh. Ser Jorah Mormont gets a secret message from one of the Spider's little "birds." The Master of Whispers tells him that his service to the throne is up. He may return home now to full glory. Job well done, and all that jazz.

But wait! Daenerys is still alive, right? But for how long? . . .


This is an interesting scene at the local version of the Mall of America. See, Jorah has just been granted immunity and allowed to return to Westeros. But somewhere along the way he's started to believe in the Khaleesi and her plight. And perhaps a little more?

Remember Viserys words to him last episode? He saw the way Ser Jorah looked at his sister. Hmmm, the plot thickens!

Oh man, this wine merchant (named Byan Votyris in the book) is so going to get it! He tried to sell Daenerys poisoned wine. But Jorah was wise to him.

Whoa! Dany's guard, Rakharo, went all Raiders of the Lost Ark on this dumbass. That whip must be like 30 feet long or something -- the hell?

Ah-ha! That's your ASS, dude! Wait until the Khal finds out . . .


Back at the Wall again. All the new recruits have passed their tests and are ready to be sworn in to the Night's Watch. Ser Jorah's pappy, Lord Commander Jeor Mormont, gives the big speech in the courtyard. Old Maester Aemon and that asshole drill instructor, Ser Alliser, watch on.

All the boys are nervous, including Jon Snow and Sam. It is here that they will receive their permanent stations on the Watch. Some will be assigned maintenance duties, making sure the Wall stays sturdy. Others will be assigned steward duties under Maester Aemon, basically keeping house within the walls of Castle Black. While the lucky ones who showed great martial promise under Ser Alliser's tutelage will be named honest-to-gosh Rangers. These are the guys who get to go out beyond the Wall and have all the adventures.

Although, after what happened to the last few guys who left the Wall . . . uh, yeah, sign me up for scrubbing pots, please!

Needless to say, Jon wants to be a Ranger bad. Not only is he the best warrior out of all the new recruits, but he desperately wants to head out and investigate what happened to his uncle.

Of course, fate has other plans. Much to his shock and everyone else's, Jon gets assigned steward duties along with Sam. He's to be made Commander Mormont's personal squire by special request!

Sam is happy with his lot--more food to eat! But Jon is PISSSED! And he thinks Ser Alliser had something to do with it.

But good ole Sam -- gotta love him. He pulls Jon aside and sets some sense on him:

Sam: "You'll know everything, be a part of everything. And [Mormont] asked for you himself! He wants to groom you for command."

Now don't you just feel like a right idiot all of a sudden, Jon? This is better than being some grungy Ranger. You're going to be in charge one day, man!

Jon: "I just . . . I always wanted to be a Ranger."
Sam: "I always wanted to be a wizard."

LOL! Damn, Samwell really is your typical fat teenage fantasy geek, ain't he? They always want to be wizards! Me, I always wanted to be a knight and rescue fair damsels in distress. I never did care much for magic. Swords and axes were my dream things.



Ah, so it begins. The wheeling and the dealing. With Robert on death's door, all the players start moving their pieces across the board. And they're all heading in the direction of the throne!

First up, Robert's youngest brother -- Lord Renly Baratheon. Ned dismisses his household guard and the two men speak in private.

Renly: "Give me an hour, and I can put a hundred swords at your command!"
Ned: "And what should I do with a hundred swords?

Ned points out that Robert's other brother, Stannis (whom we have yet to see), has the better claim since he is older than Renly.

Damn, Ned. Seriously? Fer fuck's sake, play the fucking game already!

Renly wants Ned to separate Joffrey from his mother as soon as possible. With Robert's heir under their control, there will be no stopping them!

Hmm, maybe Ned is wise to not follow this plan. After all, he knows that Joffrey is not the true heir. Renly, on the other hand, clearly has other motivations.

Ned: "Stannis is a commander. He's led men into war--twice!"
Renly: "Yes, he's a good soldier. So was Robert. Tell me something: do you still believe good soldiers made good kings?"

Uh, he's got you there Stark. You should know better now the answer to that question.

Penelope Cruz walks into the scene with Tom Cruise on her arm and rasps: "OPEN YOUR EYES!"


Next up to bat, Littlefinger.

Ned is sending a message off to Stannis, asking him to take the throne. But sneaky Petey Baelish has other plans in mind.

For some reason, despite Littlefinger himself warning Ned not to trust him a few episodes back, Stark reveals to him all that he knows about Joffrey's true parentage. Littlefinger barely blinks.

No shit, dude. Where the fuck have you been?

Ned uses this info to justify passing the throne to Robert's older brother, Stannis. Petyr doesn't like this. He has a better plan. To place Joffrey on the throne, release Tyrion, and make peace with the Lannisters.

Ned: "Do you have a shred of honor?"

Oh shit, here we go again. Eddard's Big Mistake No. 3.

Fuck honor! The future of the Seven Kingdoms, and even that of you and your cherished family, is at stake here! Use your head, Ned!

Littlefinger suggests they use the information as a safety block against Joffrey. If he starts to get too big for his throne, reveal it and place Renly there instead. See, Petyr believes a weak king on the throne will be better for the two of them.

Ned: "What you suggest is treason."
Petyr: "Only if we lose."

Now there, too, is a man who knows how to play the fucking game!

Ned reminds Littlefinger how he swore to Cat that he would make sure her husband didn't come to harm. Petyr smiles at this. Ned continues, saying that he needs the City Watch if he ever hopes to stand against Cersei and her men. His household guard are too few and far between.

Littlefinger agrees, after chastising Ned on being so damn honorable. He can't even come out and ask the Master of Coin for help directly. It's beneath him.

But since Petyr pays the Gold Cloaks their wages, they will gladly serve his purpose and Ned's by extension.

Ned is all set, then, to take on the Queen.

Or is he?


Hey -- a Ghost sighting! The direwolf is so happy to be the hell out of that grim looking castle. He wants to RUN!!!

Oh, shit snacks! It's a heart tree, too! All close up and personal.

I mentioned this a while back, how the Godswoods are very important to all men of the North. The trees represent the Old Gods, before the new religion of the Seven swept the land and became all the rage. Heart trees are ancient and beautiful to behold, bearing creepy Jack-o-lantern faces and running red sap tears that are believed to flow from the gods themselves.

Besides Winterfell, the only heart trees still left in Westeros are beyond the Wall. So this is where Jon and Sam go to say their vows which will make them brothers of the Watch once and for all.

Wow, it so cool to hear the words spoken aloud at long last:

"Hear my words, and bear witness to my vow.
Night gathers, and now my watch begins.
It shall not end until my death.
I shall take no wife, hold no lands,
Father no children.

"I shall wear no crowns, and win no glory.
I shall live and die at my post.
I am the Sword in the Darkness,
I am the Watcher on the Wall.
I am the Shield that guards
the realm of men.

"I pledge my life and honor
to the Night's Watch,
For this night, and all the nights to come."

That was so AWESOME!

Darkwing Duck comes sneaking out from behind the tree, saying: "I'm am the terror that flaps in the night!"

Then Ghost shows up and bites him on the tail feathers.

Hmm, speaking of Ghost . . .

Seems the little wulfie has found himself a prize.

Sam: "What's he got there?"
Jon: "To me, Ghost. Bring it here."

Oh fuck, wait -- it's a HUMAN HAND!!!

Eww! Something strange is happening in them thar woods. I think you boys better beat it back to Castle Black, like, NOW!


Dany is highly upset that King Robert wants her dead. Little does she know that she has a certain bald-headed no-man to thank for that.

To bad, too. Because the Khal is fucking PISSED off his GOURD when he learns of the news. Not only was that his cherished beloved that was almost killed -- but his unborn son, too!

Holy fuck! This is one seriously awesome scene, man! Jason Momoa is in fine form as Drogo, beating his chest and stomping around the room in a rage. He abruptly changes his mind. Now he wants the Iron Throne, and he wants it BAD.

Dany is all hot and bothered by the display. She's got eyes only for her man! He promises he will tear down their houses in Westeros . . . rape their women, take their children as slaves . . .

Wait, what? Hmm, now that's certainly not pillow talk. Any minute now I expect him to start channeling Arnold: "To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"

Which is funny, actually, considering that Momoa will be portraying Conan himself on the big screen later this summer.

As the Khal's men scream at the top of their lungs in full approval of his declarations, Dany and Drogo eye fuck each other from across the blazing bonfire.

Aww, sweet love.

The next day, the entire khalasar packs up and exits Vaes Dothrak. Finally!

It's on like Donkey Kong now, yo!


At King's Landing, Ned is walking with his small retinue of household guard when a page comes running and tells him he is summoned to the throne room. The man mentions "King Joffrey," which has the effect of turning Ned white as a sheet.

It seems the King is dead. Eh . . . long live the King?

Uh-oh, folks. This is it. The moment of truth. Jeff Probst will be there to proclaim who's being voted off the island tonight. I don't know about you, but I've got a bad feeling in my stomach.

Oh, phew! Littlefinger and Varys show up with a kick-ass battalion of the City Watch to bolster Ned's men. I've never been so happy to see these scheming fucks.

Wait, what am I saying? I know what happens!

And it seems Renly already beat it out of Dodge with the quickness. See, he knows what's about to come next. He's run away to lick his wounds and prepare his next move in the safety of his family's stronghold at Storm's End. You can be sure the Knight of Flowers is there also . . . to *cough* administer the licking personally.

Yeah, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

In the throne room, King Joffrey--the pissant!--demands of the Small Council their oaths of fealty. Ned looks like he just bit into a rotten apple, only to find half a wriggling worm inside to boot!

Ned looks to the Commander of the Kingsguard, the honorable Ser Barristan, to read Robert's last will. After all, Robert had placed his Hand in charge until his "heir" comes of age.

Ha! Take that, Cersei!

But -- OH SHIT! She just rips the paper into pieces and drops it to the floor. Whoa, she certainly has great big brass balls, doesn't she?

Cersei: "Lord Eddard, when we last spoke you offered me some counsel. Allow me to return the courtesy. Bend the knee, my lord! Bend the knee and swear loyalty to my son, and we shall allow you to live out your days in the grey wastes you call home."

Ned, of course, tell her to go fuck herself with a rubber schlong. Well, okay, not in those precise words . . . but you get the drift.

Cersei orders Ser Barristan to arrest him. Ned's Winterfell guards step forward to block his approach. Ned orders them not to harm the Commander, since he is honorable and only following orders.

Now it's his chance to turn the tables on these Lannister scum. He turns to the Commander of the City Watch, Janos Slynt, and orders him to take the Queen and her children into custody.

Janos: "Men of the Watch!"

The City guard turn at once and point their spears at the throne. But then Cersei gives a look to Janos, and he in turn nods at his men.

OH FUCK! All of a sudden, the Gold Cloaks turn their spears on Ned's household guard. They run them through the back with nary a moment's pause. Some of Ned's most loyal men manage to draw their swords, but they're cut down with the swiftness as well.

Damn, damn, damn . . . DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!

See, Ned? While all this time you thought you were playing checkers, everyone else around you was fucking playing CHESS! The GAME of mother-effing KINGS!

Ned pulls his own sword, but suddenly a dagger is at his throat. It's wielded by none other than Littlefinger himself!

See? What did I tell you? That little shit!

Petyr: "I did warn you not to trust me."


*crickets chirping*

That's how it felt in my living room after that final twist scene.

I mean, WHAT THE FUCK??? Talk about plot twists upon plot twists--wow!

So, how did you guys enjoy it? Like Littlefinger, I did warn you. I told you it was about to go down -- and not in a good way. Hell no!

This episode made some interesting observations. One, that power comes to those with no morals and whom strike hard, fast, and first! Cersei takes after her father in this respect. She says it herself in the books: She's more her father's son than her two brothers.

Ned is a good man, but unfortunately that kind of man gets eaten up quickly by the jackals at court. But Ned is the hero, and literary heroes always stick to their morals don't they?

It makes me wonder: what would I do in such a situation as Ned's? I like to consider myself a highly moral being myself. But you know what? In the real world, when push comes to shove . . . eventually self-preservation kicks in. That's my take on it, anyway. I think I would have made the hard choices Ned couldn't. If it were me, I would have taken Renly up on his offer. But that's me.

You gotta make moves to keep one step ahead of the hangman in this world. Ain't that the truth!

Anyway, next week's episode is where it's going to be at y'all! I'm telling you, you don't want to miss this! It's the one episode the author of the books, George R. R. Martin, wrote himself. And trust me, there's a good reason for that. Because this is where things really get going.

Think to yourself: What does this mean for Ned? How will his eldest son at Winterfell respond to this news? Fuck that -- what the hell's going to happen to his two daughters still stuck at King's Landing? And what about Catelyn? Will she find help from her batshit crazy sister, Lysa? Will her father and brother at Riverrun be safe now that Tywin and Jaime are on the move?

Will Dany and Drogo find the ships they need to transport their army across the Narrow Sea?

Will Ros find true love like Julia Roberts did in Pretty Woman?

Find out next time on Game of Thrones, Ep. 8: "The Pointy End."


Jennifer Hillier said...

This show just keeps getting better and better.

I cringed when Khal Drogo got all wound up and made that speech about raping women, but you're right, it didn't seem to bother Dany at all! Bring on the eye fucking! LOL

getyourselfconnected said...

I have to confess cus it's killing me.....I have all these on DVR but just stick to my work and my reading nights so I have not seen them!!!! I scan your recaps, but I don't want to know too much. I am a terrible blog friend, I know. I goota stain a deck, bye bye...

David Batista said...

Jen -- Glad you're still into this show, and that it's only getting better for you. I had a feeling you would like that Drogo scene . . . except for that one slip up. Oops! But, hey, you take the good with the bad, eh? :)

GYSC -- Nah, it's okay. I already knew you weren't watching these judging by your comments. But it's not like watching it is a prerequisite for my blog friends to hang here. :)

And hey, good luck with that deck. I think once you're done staining, you're going to feel immensely relieved. Because, then . . . FISHING!!!

getyourselfconnected said...

YES!!!!!!!!! Off to a slow start this morning (big jobs number sucked for markets, who called that???) but I am getting rolling here soon.

Rodney said...

See, I KNEW it!! The minute Robert ordered the hit on Dany, I *KNEW* it would backfire on him. You never prevent wars by pissing people off. All I could do was shake my head during Drogo's speech.

As for Ned, I'm really getting pissed at this man. He talks a good game to Jamie Lannister about not participating in tournaments so when he goes against an opponent, they don't know what he can do. Then completely goes against that theory by blabbing all to the people he KNOWS are against him!!

Dude better start adapting quickly or he's going to lose not only what little good opinion I have of him, but also his life!!

As for Littlefinger, he was played excellently in this ep, but it kind of falls flat against such an ill-equipped adversary as Ned...

However, in going back over the seven eps so far, I've noticed that Ned hasn't really DONE anything yet. He's sort of just going with the flow... I think it'll be interesting when he starts INITIATING actions. Which probably won't be until either the White Walkers or the Dothraki walk in getting all uppity in Westeros.

David Batista said...

Rod -- Oh, you are getting way a-head of things! The thing you're going to find out about this show--which just might piss some people off who haven't read the books--is that stuff takes a long time to build here. So I'm not saying the things you speak of won't come to pass. But just that they may be taking a lot longer to develop than you think. And we only have 3 episodes left!

Also, there are a LOT more plot twists ahead. By the end of the season, you'll be surprised by how far off you are from where you think this show is heading.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha -- I can't wait to see everyone's reactions! :)

Laura said...

Hey David,
I found your recaps a few weeks ago when I was googling info for Game of Thrones. LOVE your recaps! I enjoyed the first five eps so much I started reading the series. The only negative about that is unfortunately I know how Season One ends (and Two, and Three...) Anyway, thanks for all your work.

David Batista said...

Hi Laura! Thanks for stopping by! I'm just loving all the many ASoIaF fans I get to meet on this blog. This show RULZ!!! I'm also glad you're enjoying these reactions of mine -- it's been a lot of fun to write them.

The Frisky Virgin said...

I love Ned. I wanted to yell at him for trusting Littlefinger. AGH! He's so full of it!!! How could he not see it!!! Poor Ned. :( Soooo upset about him getting locked up. :(

Ashe Hunt said...

Tywin is badass. A bastard but a badass bastard.

Ned is shaking my head) I understand honor and all but does self-preservation or more importantly the preservation of your family mean nothing. Honor does NOT trump the lives of those I love. Fuck that. I consider myself to be very honorable but thrust in the game, shit, I'm playing for keeps until I'm on top and can rewrite the rules!

I actually like the Littlefinger scene only because it showed how talented he is a multi-tasking. We get the explanation of him and his main motivation, and also he's training these courtesans how to be better at their jobs and indirectly telling them they are not just givers of pleasure but also gatherers of information for him. That scene was brilliant!

I like Osha. Theon's little punk ass got owned twice in less than a minute.

Heart trees cool. The Wall cool. Night's Watch cool. Ghost sighting super-cool!

Yeah, I was ready to fight my damn self when Drogo gave that speech! Ready to mount up and kill shit!!

Stupid honorable Eddard. Bet he feels the right nitwit now don't he? Hell of an end scene.

Almost sucks I read the books! Almost. I'm so loving this show!

You Might Also Like: