Thursday, September 29, 2011

Where Does One Find 'Roids In The Post-Apocalyptic Future?

If you check out my "Now Playing" sidebar, you'll see that this is what I've been busy with as of late. Yes, it's Gears of War 3, which was just released for the Xbox 360 last week. I've been off from work these past several days, so I've had the luxury of getting in some pretty good game time. It's been a while since I've gamed so consistently and thoroughly -- WHEEEE!

The game is, of course, the third in the series. The initial game was my very first title for the 360 when I got one for Christmas back in 2007. It's a third-person action shooter, with team-based squad tactics against horrific alien foes. So it's a cross between sci-fi and horror, with a war backdrop to boot. And I must say, I get a lot of joy out of using my chainsaw bayonet to get up close and rip out some Locust grub guts. Yes, that's right: I said CHAINSAW BAYONET!!!

Thing is, this 3rd game in the saga is supposed to take place some 2 years after the first game when the human race is on its last legs. These guys have been doggedly trying to outrun extinction for a while now, see, but I have to laugh at just how buff they managed to stay in all that time.

It's utterly hilarious to anyone who weight trains and knows a thing or two about muscle building. And I can tell you there is no way in hell these soldiers could maintain that density of muscle mass while constantly in the field and fighting for their lives. Real soldiers come out of years-long conflicts more wiry than buff. So when I play titles like this I have to laugh at the rather adolescent view of male physicality being depicted in these games, especially the war ones.

Muscles like that take constant dedication day-in and day-out in the gym, with careful nutritional intake and supplements thrown into the mix. Running through bombed-out cities and devastated countryside constantly on the run do not a muscle-bound superman make. In such extremes, your body tries to conserve energy and keep one's profile sleek and fast. The soldiers I know--the ones who have seen constant combat--are usually lean and wiry, not puffed-out bulky like in these games. This is the type of build than can maintain energy levels for long periods of time. Plus, I mean the amount of calories one would have to consume each day to support a hulked-out physique -- there aren't nearly enough chickens running around the fictional world of Sera to sustain all that!

Still, silly exaggerations aside, Gears 3 is so far shaping up to be a much better game than its predecessor. Gears 2 left a bad taste in my mouth because it was too much of an all-out frag fest and lite on story. But the final installment in the series brings us back to what I loved so much from the first game--action AND story, blended perfectly.

Sometimes, I love gaming!


The Frisky Virgin said...

When you were talking about muscles and weight training, I started laughing because you are so right!

This may be a dumb question, but have you ever played the Harry Potter games? Supposedly, the final Deathly Hallows game is really, really spooky compared to the others.

Jennifer Hillier said...

It's so interesting, your comment about this game showing an adolescent view of male physicality. It seems like the equivalent of expecting women to look like Playmates.

I knew a soldier once. He spent a lot of years in infantry, and yup, just like you said, he was lean and mean. Not huge and buff like these guys.

Botanist said...

Well, if you can have chainsaw bayonets and Earth-ravaging alien locusts, then I guess anything's possible :D

So, this is why things have been so quiet this month, is it? Good to see you back, David.

David Batista said...

Frisky -- never a dumb question from you! But, no, I've never played the HP games. I almost never play movie tie-in games. What I know of the last movie, though, it's no surprise that the correlating game would be very dark.

Jen -- Yeah, women have it even worse I'm afraid. But for men who serve our country, we've been conditioned by the media to think that soldiers should look like Stallone or Ahnuld . . . which is just utterly ridiculous in real life. I'm not saying there aren't some buff men in the armed forces, but once the bombs start dropping and the bullets flying, there's not much time to worry about "bulking up."

David Batista said...

Ian -- LOL, I guess you're right. I'm not taking it too seriously in any event. A game is a game. :)

Oh, and: no. I've been quiet as of late because I'm working on the novel and simply can't spare the time to blog. My next post could be tomorrow . . . or the end of next month. I've been avoiding the 'net as a whole as of late, actually. Too much time wasting!

Antares Cryptos said...

Jumped over here from Sprite.
Another avid gamer, who is avoiding glancing at your reviews in case of spoilers.

I laugh at them too, that bulk would slow them down, but someone has to be able to drag all those weapons around with them.:)

David Batista said...

Hey Antares! Thank you for visiting. And you don't have to worry about spoilers, I'm only making general remarks about the game.

Yeah, pack mules. That's what they are! :)

Yvonne said...

They look kind of deformed to me! lol

David Batista said...

Yeah, Yvonne, you hit it right on the head! That's always been my problem with the art direction of the "Gears" series of games. It's actually a familiar style for most of Epic's games using the Unreal engine -- these puffed-up, brutish looking male characters. The proportions are obviously way off, and I can't say that I really care too much for that look. But that's neither here nor there. :)

getyourselfconnected said...

Crazy looking stuff! Check your email, I left a note in meeting up in NYC.

David Batista said...

Check YOUR e-mail, I left you a reply. :)

getyourselfconnected said...

Back at ya, tag your it!

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