Thursday, May 24, 2012

Movie News Monday

Yes, I'm fully aware that today is not in fact Monday. But seeing as how I just got back from taking a few days off, it feels like a Monday to my mind. And one's state of mind is really what's important, wouldn't you agree?

Since I was out of touch with the interwebs for the most part during this brief hiatus, I was surprised by a couple of new developments in movie land while I was away. One good, one bad . . . and one interesting little tidbit.

I will, of course, start with THE BAD first. And it's an infuriating bad for me:

3-D Can Go Suck A Big One!

Yes, I regret to say that G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the second installment in the live-action series, has become the latest casualty of the idiotic 3-D push by Hollywood execs. Now, let me see if I can get this straight. See, this movie was looking pretty awesome. As some of you may recall, I gushed about it right here on this blog a few months back. Unlike the first film which was an all-around turd, I actually thought this one was shaping up to be the movie us fans had been waiting for. But now we're going to have to wait a very long time to get our Joe fix. A lot longer, in fact.

Originally slated to appear in theaters next month, G.I. Joe: Retaliation has now been pushed all the way back until March of 2013 -- that's NEXT YEAR, folks!


And why is this being done? All so that the movie--already filmed and in the can, mind you--can get retrofitted with a new 3-D transfer. That's right. A film that has already finished being made and which was damn near ready to see release in theaters will be shelved for nearly 9 months so that the film execs can slap a 3-D certificate on it and charge a buttload more money on ticket prices.

I got your NO-DEE right heeere!

There's some other mumbo-jumbo the film execs are mouthing to justify this stupidity, but honestly talking about it here is only going to make me angrier. So, if you really want to read all the little details, check out the full story by clicking on the link right here.

This is some BULL SHIT!!!

And now on to the INTERESTING tidbit I mentioned earlier:

There Can Be [Maybe] Only One [Remake]!

Now normally the news of one of my most beloved 80s movies being rebooted would fall firmly under the "FURIOUS HEATED HATRED OF A THOUSANDS SUNS" category here on The Bimillennial Man . . . but honestly I've had a while to deal with this news and the remake of the 1986 cult classic, Highlander, no longer infuriates me like it did over a year ago when I first learned of this. But, what I am intrigued about is the most recent news over who The Powers That Be may cast as their titular hero. None other than Mr. Van Wilder himself--Ryan Reynolds!!!

This news seems to have met with a lot of anguish and hostile resistance from Highlander fans and non-fans alike, but I actually like the idea. Why? Well, because I always felt the franchise could do better with a little more thought and effort--and, hell, MONEY--put into it. Now RR being in the movie doesn't automatically mean we'll get either of these three things, but it's a good start. He's a fairly well-known name and has been in some big time popular movies (Blade III, Wolverine, Green Lantern . . . Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle). And plus, I actually like Ryan Reynolds! He's played some cool roles, and can do both drama and action perfectly fine.

He may be Immortal, but does he have inside him blood of kings?

And if he brings a little bit of comedic timing to some of the scenes, so what? Ain't nothing wrong with a little humor. Even Christopher "heh heh, what kept you!" Lambert infused a little mirth into the original role. So bite me, people! I for one would love for this news to be true. Unfortunately, Mr. Reynolds has only shown a cursory interest in the role. He's a busy dude these days, so it's possible he won't be taking on the kilt and fake brogue of our noble hero after all. But he has read for the role, and for that I'm hopeful. You can click here to read more if you like.

And now for THE GOOD:

The Name's . . . Skyfall.

Finally! As a huge James Bond fan--and an even HUGER Daniel Craig as James Bond fan--I'm so happy that they've decided to release a trailer at long last for the next installment in the franchise, Skyfall. It's slated to hit theaters on November 9th later this year, but get your sneak peek below to tide you over until then:

Oh man, this is just what I need! I'm so thrilled by what I'm seeing so far. I love the two shots fired while crossing laterally across the room in a suit. How freakin BOSS is that? I'm especially excited because Javier Bardem has been cast as the baddie this time around. And also because the director is none other than Sam Mendes, of American Beauty, Jarhead, and Road to Perdition fame. While his mixed pedigree of films might give some cause to worry, I actually have great confidence in this guy's talents. Can't wait to see if I'm proven right! Looking at the trailer alone, I get the feeling that this will be an even darker installment than the last two Daniel Craig-starring Bond flicks were.

And that, as they say, is music to my ears!


  1. My hubby is looking forward to the Bond movie 2.

  2. I hope there is a serious inside job and the GI JOE movie gets SO bootlegged they'll HAVE to release it just to try and make some of the money back! That's the dumbest greediest shit I've ever seen from hollywood! Doesn't make me too confident in the goodness of the movie either. Despite the trailer it probably didn't test well and they're covering up with the 3d excuse. That's that bullshit right there!

    I wouldn't mind a remake if it is done right but this story hasn't really been treated right in film since the first one. And honestly, There can be only one! That's all I have to say about that.

    OH SHIT!!! Skyfall is going to be off the CHIZZAIN!!!! (Yeah, I spelled it out. First time in print, CHIZZAIN!) And Oh My Goodness Gracious, Naomie Harris is one of the newest Bond girls. OH YEAH!!! I cannot wait for this!


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