Sunday, January 19, 2014

Top 10 Crushes From Hollywood's Golden Age

Could this be the start of a tradition here on The Bimillennial Man?

Some of you may recall a few months back when I posted the Top 10 TV Crushes of My Youth. It turned out to be a very popular post which brought in a lot of hits to this site. And so I thought it would be fun to follow up with another Top 10 Crushes list -- but this time hailing back, back, back to way before I was born. That's right, to Tinsel Town's heyday, when studios were only as big as the glamorous stars they contracted to headline their films.

You might think I'm too young to have been influenced by some of the greatest beauties to grace the silver screen ... and you'd be thinking wrong! I happen to be a movie buff, sure, but actually I used to watch a lot of black & white movies on tv as a kid with my grandma. Not only on broadcast and cable television, but by way of the rather extensive video collection she, my aunt and my uncle kept in the house. When we moved in with them, curiosity and sheer boredom alike provided the twin impulses to check out a lot of these films. And with them, the opportunity to develop major crushes on some of Hollywood's biggest names of the day.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Oh, The Things I Have (And Have Not) Done!

Over on Facebook, my good friend Rodney shared a pic that has been making the rounds. The pic is a list of 22 life experiences one may or may not have had, followed by an arbitrarily decided upon price point for each item on the list. To participate, you have to decided which of these activities you've done in your lifetime, then tally up the prices for each until you get your total. You then share that number with everyone on your timeline.

I won't be doing that part of the game here. But what I thought would be fun was to recreate the list, followed by a brief explanation for the one's I've done. The ones which I have not done will be highlighted in red.

Before I do this, however, a small disclaimer: the majority of these were done when I was much younger. I know, not an excuse, but hey . . . shit happens when you're young and stupid.

Now then, on to the festivities!

1.  HAD SEX:
Well, yes, obviously. I was in a relationship for 18 years, and married for 7. So needless to say sex was being had. Not an interesting statistic at all. However, to make it more interesting, I will say how old I was the first time it happened: I was 21. Does that surprise anyone? Well, it shouldn't.

Unfortunately, yes. Fortunately, it was only twice. I was a teenager, maybe 16 yrs old. My best friend and I were curious and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Technically it is illegal for vendors in New York City to sell cigarettes to anyone under 18 ... but living where we lived, that was not a problem. The first time I tried one, I definitely did not smoke it properly. I didn't even inhale! The second time, I did inhale ... but was not impressed. I thought it was a stupid addiction, in fact, and never went back.

Well, duh! If you're 37 years old and have never been drunk -- you're either a devout Muslim, and I applaud you. Or you are quite sheltered. That being said, I've only been truly, stinking drunk 3 times in my life. And on each of those occasions I was able to drag my sorry ass home and sleep it off. Well, one of those times I was already home, so yay! But, yeah, I don't drink very often. And when I do, I almost never drink enough to lose control. That's just not me.

Nope. While I don't really see the appeal, to be honest I've never had the opportunity, either. One never knows . . .

This is stupid to include on the list. This and No. 1 makes me think that this was devised for much younger people on Facebook. I don't have anything interesting to add to this even. Except this fact: I was 17 when I had my first kiss.

Hell to the no! The only way I could ever conceivably do this is if I was either a) Drunk; b) Dared to, while drunk; or 3) Offered a large sum of money. While drunk!

Yeah. Not my proudest moment. Who are we kidding? That should be moments -- plural! I've cheated plenty of times on tests. Particularly in high school. What can I say? I never held very high opinions of standardized testing. If I could get away with it, even if I was fairly certain I knew the correct answer anyway, I would cheat just to make sure. There was a time when I would use any and all advantages at my disposal to get ahead.

Yes. Again, in high school. All the time. It's a wonder I ever graduated, and with honors to boot!

Oh yes. Because of one such incident indicated in No. 10 below. I was constantly being bullied and picked on throughout most of my schooling. This particular incident occurred in junior high school. Some kid thought he could shove me and throw in a punch. But I ducked and laid him out flat. Literally. While wearing a baseball mitt on the other hand, too! While he provoked it, and others attested to this fact, we both ended up being expelled for a day. Luckily for me, it didn't go on my record.

Yes. Every single fist fight I've been in occurred while in school. It started in elementary when I was 9, and continued on up until high school. And I've never lost a fight. While I'm not proud that I allowed some assholes to get me to the point of actually being in a fist fight, I am proud to say that I never backed down once engaged.

Sadly, yes to this. I used to steal candy and soda from the convenient store across the street from my junior high school. I had no real reason to do so, but this was really a crime of opportunity. So many kids from my school would rush into the place after class that the proprietor had no way of keeping an eye on all of us. And I was a particularly clever and nimble little boy. I could swipe something so fast you'd never see my hands move. And all the while I would be looking somewhere else and pretending to be barely clued in to existence. That was the trick, and it always worked! Until the one day when it didn't . . .

No way. As Whitney said: Crack is whack!

No, I'm not a girl.

Of course! When you've had as many close family members die as I've had, this goes without saying. I've had other bad things happen to me in my life, too, so unfortunately I'm quite familiar with this practice. Who isn't?

Yes. And broken out of it, too. It sucks. Again, I'm wondering who would answer "no" to this unless they're under 18.

I could easily use my answer to No. 11 above for this, but that's too easy. One incident when this happened was when I was caught by my boss reading a book in a hideaway corner somewhere on the job site, when I should have been shelving the books. It's probably not such a hot idea for an avid reader to get a job working in the campus library!

No. Not even while severely, falling down drunk would I ever do this. So stupid.

Surprisingly, no. Although I've done more than enough stupid shit on the streets and in the subways of New York to have been arrested, even if over no serious crimes. Misdemeanors, really. But I'm happy to say my fingerprints are NOT in the system!

God, how stupid are some of these? OF COURSE I HAVE! Like I said before . . . first time when I was 17.

Yes, I'm going to have to plead my young age to this disgusting act. I've been swimming in pools since I was 6 years old, so I've peed in my fair share of 'em! What? That's what they invented chlorine for, right? No? Oh well ...

Yes. Nothing risque came out of it, though. And another surprising fact: I was in my mid-20s the first time I played this. Hey, some parts of my life were very sheltered, believe it or not. Consider that, as I pointed out in No. 1, I lost my virginity at age 21. Now it all starts to make sense, no?

Who hasn't? Seriously! But if I had to pick one incident I really regret: When I was 5, my mother took us shopping down in the city. On the way back home we took the subway, where kids my age could just slip under the turnstyle for free. But, this one day I really wanted to see what it would feel like to spin the turny thing you have to go through when you're a paying adult. So I happened to spy this old woman with a ton of bags in her arms heading for the turnstyle. She set her bags down, dropped the coin into the slot, and then bent over to pick her bags back up before walking through. Right at that moment I ran through the turnstyle. It was so much fun! But then I turned to see the old woman bang right into it. She seemed really upset, and I ran away like the little chickenshit 5 yr old that I was. Even to this day I never forget that I've done something so terrible, and I beat myself up over it.

So there you have it, folks! No, I don't live a particularly daring or exciting life, but I dare say some of my experiences might be surprising to some of you.

And that being said: how many of these have YOU done? Or rather: which ones, by number only, have you NOT done? Let me know in the comments section below!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Beware of Writer

Please pardon my absence. I'm in the middle of intense writing on the new short story. I think I'm rusty and in dire need of practice still, but it's coming along. Slowly. My brain's enjoying the storming, though. It's like flexing an old muscle I haven't used in a long time. I'm sure this story sucks, but yet I must continue until the end. Won't really know what I got until it's over and I can look back and see it for the whole.

Until then, I don't know when I'll post again. Or, more importantly, what I'll post about. Any suggestions?

Would anyone be totally upset if I did another Top 10 Crushes entry? I don't know if I'm outwearing my welcome with all these write-ups of beautiful women I fantasize about now that I'm single. But to be honest, it's really about all my brain is capable of outputting these days. Especially as I try to focus on real creative writing.

It's all in good fun, you know?

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Bimillennial Man's Top 10 Posts of 2013

This list is a little late. I had meant to do this around New Year's, naturally, but plumb forgot. Mea culpa.

Some statistics first. In all of 2013, I only managed to write 48 posts. An all time low for The Bimillennial Man. Before that, 2012 was the lowest with around 65 posts. For those of you who know me, and who know what I've been through the past 2 years, you know the reasons for that.

That being said, despite having only 48 posts, 2013 generated a total of 63,227 unique visitors. Making it an average of around 5,269 visits per month. I've had much better numbers in prior years, so I'll attribute this to the low post count again. Still, those numbers are not entirely terrible.

As for the posts themselves ...

Below are the topics I blogged about in 2013 that received the most unique views. Meaning, for one reason or another, they were apparently more popular than all my other posts last year. I'll leave it up to you to decide why that was the case for any particular thread.

The list is in chronological order starting from Jan. '13 onward. The number of views each received come after the title, and you can click on each title to read the article in full.

Got it?

My Top 10 Threads of 2013

1.  Disappearing Act   (155 views)

2.  My 5 Most Influential Books   (121 views)

3.  So . . . Celebrity Wife Swap, Anyone?   (136 views)

4.  Thank Heaven I Was Born A Man   (602 views)

5.  Game of Thrones: "Valar Dohaeris" Review   (281 views)

6.  Can You Hear Me Now?   (279 views)

7.  Miss Crush 2013   (248 views)

8  Tiny Apartment Is Tiny!   (241 views)

9.  Model Spotlight: RIYA RAY   (371 views)

10.  Top 10 TV Crushes Of My Youth   (188 views)

It becomes apparent fairly quick that the articles with the most pics and pretty wimmins in 'em get the most views, so unfortunately I cannot assign most (if any) of the credit to my superb writing skillz. Still, as long as they keep coming!

What do you think? Any surprises up there? Disagreements? Sound off in the comments section below.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

State Of The Batista Union

Salute the flag!

In this year of our Lord, two-thousand and fourteen, I hereby declare these United States of Batista ... single and ready to mingle!!!

Haha, I don't know why I just said that. It's not entirely true. I'm not actually ready to start dating just yet. However, I am feeling a whole lot better now that 2013 is over and we're already a few days into 2014. I like the start of a new year. January for me is the perfect month to wind down after the usual busy hubbub that is the holiday season, otherwise known as the triple whammy of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year all occurring roughly within a few weeks' span.

And while I have high hopes for 2014, I just wanted to catch everyone up on how things went at the tail end of 2013 for me.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy, Happy

Yes, the title of this entry is sarcasm.

Anyway, I don't intend to be a spoil sport. A New Year's Scrooge, if you will. No. Everyone knows what a sucktacular year 2013 has been to me. To make matters worse that human muppet on ABC, Ryan Seacrest, just advised me to "grab someone I love" as the ball was dropping in Times Square, yet I was sitting on my couch all alone in my apartment just staring coldly at the screen. Remembering all the many memories of NYEs past--both the good and the bad.

But, no. Let me stop with the negativity. It's another year and a fresh beginning. Here's to wishing all the best to everyone out there.

Happy 2014, everybody.


Panama Trip - Day 1: Here There Be Balboas!

In late May, 2017 I embarked on a trip of a lifetime. A trip to Panama's steamy tropical province, Bocas del Toro. Now, before 2017 ...