Oh, The Things I Have (And Have Not) Done!

Over on Facebook, my good friend Rodney shared a pic that has been making the rounds. The pic is a list of 22 life experiences one may or may not have had, followed by an arbitrarily decided upon price point for each item on the list. To participate, you have to decided which of these activities you've done in your lifetime, then tally up the prices for each until you get your total. You then share that number with everyone on your timeline.

I won't be doing that part of the game here. But what I thought would be fun was to recreate the list, followed by a brief explanation for the one's I've done. The ones which I have not done will be highlighted in red.

Before I do this, however, a small disclaimer: the majority of these were done when I was much younger. I know, not an excuse, but hey . . . shit happens when you're young and stupid.

Now then, on to the festivities!



1.  HAD SEX:
Well, yes, obviously. I was in a relationship for 18 years, and married for 7. So needless to say sex was being had. Not an interesting statistic at all. However, to make it more interesting, I will say how old I was the first time it happened: I was 21. Does that surprise anyone? Well, it shouldn't.


2.  SMOKED:
Unfortunately, yes. Fortunately, it was only twice. I was a teenager, maybe 16 yrs old. My best friend and I were curious and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Technically it is illegal for vendors in New York City to sell cigarettes to anyone under 18 ... but living where we lived, that was not a problem. The first time I tried one, I definitely did not smoke it properly. I didn't even inhale! The second time, I did inhale ... but was not impressed. I thought it was a stupid addiction, in fact, and never went back.


3.  GOT DRUNK:
Well, duh! If you're 37 years old and have never been drunk -- you're either a devout Muslim, and I applaud you. Or you are quite sheltered. That being said, I've only been truly, stinking drunk 3 times in my life. And on each of those occasions I was able to drag my sorry ass home and sleep it off. Well, one of those times I was already home, so yay! But, yeah, I don't drink very often. And when I do, I almost never drink enough to lose control. That's just not me.


4.  WENT SKINNY DIPPING
Nope. While I don't really see the appeal, to be honest I've never had the opportunity, either. One never knows . . .


5.  KISSED SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:
This is stupid to include on the list. This and No. 1 makes me think that this was devised for much younger people on Facebook. I don't have anything interesting to add to this even. Except this fact: I was 17 when I had my first kiss.


6.  KISSED SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX:
Hell to the no! The only way I could ever conceivably do this is if I was either a) Drunk; b) Dared to, while drunk; or 3) Offered a large sum of money. While drunk!


7.  CHEATED ON A TEST:
Yeah. Not my proudest moment. Who are we kidding? That should be moments -- plural! I've cheated plenty of times on tests. Particularly in high school. What can I say? I never held very high opinions of standardized testing. If I could get away with it, even if I was fairly certain I knew the correct answer anyway, I would cheat just to make sure. There was a time when I would use any and all advantages at my disposal to get ahead.


8.  FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS:
Yes. Again, in high school. All the time. It's a wonder I ever graduated, and with honors to boot!


9.  BEEN EXPELLED:
Oh yes. Because of one such incident indicated in No. 10 below. I was constantly being bullied and picked on throughout most of my schooling. This particular incident occurred in junior high school. Some kid thought he could shove me and throw in a punch. But I ducked and laid him out flat. Literally. While wearing a baseball mitt on the other hand, too! While he provoked it, and others attested to this fact, we both ended up being expelled for a day. Luckily for me, it didn't go on my record.


10.  BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT:
Yes. Every single fist fight I've been in occurred while in school. It started in elementary when I was 9, and continued on up until high school. And I've never lost a fight. While I'm not proud that I allowed some assholes to get me to the point of actually being in a fist fight, I am proud to say that I never backed down once engaged.


11.  STOLE SOMETHING:
Sadly, yes to this. I used to steal candy and soda from the convenient store across the street from my junior high school. I had no real reason to do so, but this was really a crime of opportunity. So many kids from my school would rush into the place after class that the proprietor had no way of keeping an eye on all of us. And I was a particularly clever and nimble little boy. I could swipe something so fast you'd never see my hands move. And all the while I would be looking somewhere else and pretending to be barely clued in to existence. That was the trick, and it always worked! Until the one day when it didn't . . .


12.  DONE DRUGS:
No way. As Whitney said: Crack is whack!


13.  DYED YOUR HAIR:
No, I'm not a girl.


14.  CRIED YOURSELF TO SLEEP:
Of course! When you've had as many close family members die as I've had, this goes without saying. I've had other bad things happen to me in my life, too, so unfortunately I'm quite familiar with this practice. Who isn't?


15.  BEEN IN LOVE:
Yes. And broken out of it, too. It sucks. Again, I'm wondering who would answer "no" to this unless they're under 18.


16.  GOT CAUGHT DOING SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DOING:
I could easily use my answer to No. 11 above for this, but that's too easy. One incident when this happened was when I was caught by my boss reading a book in a hideaway corner somewhere on the job site, when I should have been shelving the books. It's probably not such a hot idea for an avid reader to get a job working in the campus library!


17.  WENT STREAKING:
No. Not even while severely, falling down drunk would I ever do this. So stupid.


18.  GOT ARRESTED:
Surprisingly, no. Although I've done more than enough stupid shit on the streets and in the subways of New York to have been arrested, even if over no serious crimes. Misdemeanors, really. But I'm happy to say my fingerprints are NOT in the system!


19.  MADE OUT WITH SOMEONE:
God, how stupid are some of these? OF COURSE I HAVE! Like I said before . . . first time when I was 17.


20.  PEED IN THE POOL:
Yes, I'm going to have to plead my young age to this disgusting act. I've been swimming in pools since I was 6 years old, so I've peed in my fair share of 'em! What? That's what they invented chlorine for, right? No? Oh well ...


21.  PLAYED SPIN THE BOTTLE:
Yes. Nothing risque came out of it, though. And another surprising fact: I was in my mid-20s the first time I played this. Hey, some parts of my life were very sheltered, believe it or not. Consider that, as I pointed out in No. 1, I lost my virginity at age 21. Now it all starts to make sense, no?


22.  DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET:
Who hasn't? Seriously! But if I had to pick one incident I really regret: When I was 5, my mother took us shopping down in the city. On the way back home we took the subway, where kids my age could just slip under the turnstyle for free. But, this one day I really wanted to see what it would feel like to spin the turny thing you have to go through when you're a paying adult. So I happened to spy this old woman with a ton of bags in her arms heading for the turnstyle. She set her bags down, dropped the coin into the slot, and then bent over to pick her bags back up before walking through. Right at that moment I ran through the turnstyle. It was so much fun! But then I turned to see the old woman bang right into it. She seemed really upset, and I ran away like the little chickenshit 5 yr old that I was. Even to this day I never forget that I've done something so terrible, and I beat myself up over it.


So there you have it, folks! No, I don't live a particularly daring or exciting life, but I dare say some of my experiences might be surprising to some of you.

And that being said: how many of these have YOU done? Or rather: which ones, by number only, have you NOT done? Let me know in the comments section below!

You Keep On Completing Me

Last year around this time, I posted this blog entry about a severe increase in visitor stats to The Bimillennial Man. At the time, I had gone from having unique visitors in the 10s and 20s per day, to over 60 and even nearing 100 each cycle.

Many of you had kind words of encouragement then and congratulated me on this progress. And I, in turn, thanked you all for making it possible. And, of course, for taking the time out of your busy schedules to stop by once in a while.

Now, a little over one year later, that sentiment still stands. Thank you all for remaining loyal visitors to this humble blog. And to those of you who only lurk, my heartfelt thanks goes out to you as well. Trust me, I know who you are. I can see your IP addresses!

But I thought I would update you all on the state of things now. Yes, I haven't been able to blog as much this year as I'm accustomed to doing. Some of that was intentional, while most of it was not and was due to circumstances beyond my control. And yet, despite it all, I have to say the numbers have been crazy this year! Looking back, I scoff at thinking I was anything special with a mere 80 unique daily visits. Wow, cool dude. That's awesome!

But now, everything has changed. Things are starting to get serious. At the start of the year I saw the blog's stats double. Whoa! And as the year went on, it just got even more bizarre, increasing more than 400% over last year's numbers. And these past several weeks in particular have seen the site's traffic reaching stratospheric heights! Here's a snapshot of the chart, provided by Blogger's new built-in tracking system:

That's well over 400 hits each day! Now, because this is a new tracker over the one I used last year, I can't rule out that the numbers might be slightly skewed here. I do know that you can get wildly different results from one tracker to another. Alas, my old tracker is a buggy piece of crap and can no longer be relied upon. Also, while I am still not including my own visits to my blog, I can't rule out the fact that a good portion of these numbers are from people who are not truly landing on my page, per se, but instead retrieving my pics through Google Image Search. Let's face it, I put up a lot of pics--particularly in my Game of Thrones reviews which, just like last year, continue to be the prime generator of around 80% of the traffic this blog receives daily. Sheesh! People are going absolutely bananas for this show!

To clarify, I went from receiving 60 to 100 daily visitors last year to now averaging between 380 and 680! Last Sunday alone saw me reach a site high of 730 unique visitors in a 24-hour period. Wow! I'm guessing I have the Thrones' season 2 finale to thank for that! If I expand the chart to cover my yearly numbers since this blog opened back in 2008, you can get a better sense of just how rapid the increase in numbers has been over the past 4 years:

That's what I call progress!

Now, let me make something clear. I am not sitting here thinking that I'm something special. I'm well aware that I have the tv show to thank for most of this. You pick something wildly popular to write about on your blog, and chances are your numbers are going to skyrocket. Also, I'm well aware that quite a few of my regular commentators here have blog numbers that far trump mine. After all, some of you have dedicated followers alone numbering in the hundreds. I only have 30. And it's my fault, too, that. I really need to get out there in the blogosphere and meet more of my fellow bloggers. I know, I know.

And yet, I can still feel a sense of achievement with these numbers. Maybe you only like me for my screencaps, maybe you like me for my non-Thrones content. But whatever the case may be, I appreciate the hell out of you all for visiting me here. Ya'll are the best.

'Nuff said!

Life Is Meaningless And Full Of Sorrow

No, I promise, I haven't gone EMO on you all.

Meet Henri -- Henri "le chat noir." Henri is a very depressed black cat, full of apathy and ennui. Happiness in the midst of routine everyday life eludes him, even as he's surrounded by luxuries, freedom (or sometimes lack thereof), and loving caretakers who try their best. In other words, Henri is . . . very, very FRENCH!

Of course, I jest. I have nothing against the French. Lovely people, really. These short-short films by one Will Braden are actually a hoot, voiced over in Henri's horrible French and just too adorable to ignore. They remind me of every pretentious French art film I've ever tried to sit through and failed. But if you live with or otherwise adore cats like I do, you'll no doubt get a kick out of the original Henri video as well as its sequel, Henri 2: Paws de Deux:





I believe Will put together this popular Youtube video 5 years ago, which as you know is a terribly long time in cat years. The sequel was just released a few days ago, and Henri is visibly older but no less apathetic with his life. And his French has not much improved either, poor kitty! On the flip side, he does have a new energetic white companion to share in his misery:





I've been cracking up to these videos all morning. I love them!

Lord Varys Says: All My Little Birds React To Ep. 12

Tweet, my little birdies. Tweet, tweet!

Over at Winter Is Coming.net, regular contributor Fire and Blood, aka (FaBio), has gone and collected all the Twitter tweets from the night Ep. 12 "The Night Lands" aired. Click here to read the full collection of what regular viewers like me and you had to say as they watched the episode, intercut with FaB's colorful commentary. People say the funniest things about this show, which is just the epitome of cool and says a lot about its popularity. Go on click, I guarantee you'll enjoy these.

In fact, here are some of my favorites:

"@tmunzar:  You know a TV Show kicks major ass if you never ever skip it’s opening theme and credits."

"@Paco_ICEandFIRE:  LMAO OMG EAT HER FISH PIE!!! THATS ALL VARYS WOULD BE ABLE TO DO ACTUALLY!"

"@PaleGirlSquad:  Holy crap! Theon is of the House of Cthulhu!!!"

"@HEELSherrod:  Greyjoys have an epic ass den! release the Chimney!!!!"

"@AustinH_24seven:  The next time I compliment someone’s clothing, I’m going to follow up by asking if they paid the iron price for it."

"@MelRedPriestess:  Melisandre is dark and full of Stannis."

"@YgrittetheWild:  Well, Stannis certainly screwed over Westeros. #GOT140 #puns."

"@FYWinterfell:  Jon Snow! Why are you going out there? Jon Snow, you know nothing!"

"@LoriTweets:  Oh, Jon. The thing about Starks: they always get caught investigating shit. SEND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT."

"@eddywards84:  Is there anyone that knows whats going on in #GameOfThrones or am I just thick?"

LOL! at that last comment. Some people need to pay closer attention than others, methinks. Game of Thrones isn't the type of show you check Facebook and update your contacts on your mobile while watching. I personally watch it with the lights off and my eyes GLUED to the tv screen for the entire hour. Nothing disturbs me during this time. Nothing!

Kraam! Where are duh too snakes faycing each udder?

I've been cracking up all afternoon to Youtube videos of pop culture movies and video games being placed to musical renditions. This one, based on the John Milius "Conan the Barbarian" movie from the 80s, is my fave so far! It's set to the melody of Basil Poledouris's moving soundtrack to the film. And oh damn, it's HILARIOUS! Especially the fake Ahh-nuld accent:





"AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE WOMEN!!!"  LOL! I can't get enough of that. :)

Granted, it's funnier if you've watched the movie before. And even more so if, like me, you've seen it like a bajillion times.

I have a short work week, so my weekend begins tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves!

Post-Turkey Day Wrap-Up

I love this time of year!

I know I've stated this many times ad-nauseaum here already, but actually the reason this time has nothing to do with the holidays. It has to do with work. Many of you don't know this, but November and December are wind-down months at my office. Most of the busy work is between the months of April and September, with October being a transition month. But especially starting in mid to late November, we get to sit back and take a breather while more mundane, non-critical tasks are completed and reviewed. So in addition to the already festive mood I'm in, I get the added luxury of having it pretty easy at my nine-to-fiver as well.

So, this is my rather roundabout way of saying that the return back to the office after 4 luxurious days off has been a breeze. Nothing too taxing for me to stress over. How was your own transition back into the daily grind?

In addition to an easy, breezy start to the week, I had a rather sweet weekend spent at home finishing up some odds and ends. I did a bit of house cleaning, sure. But more importantly--I finished up two items of import which I shall go into more detail below:

Game Of Thrones For Dummies, Ep. 10

About a month ago you may recall I posted up this blog entry about a Youtube web series, "Game of Thrones For Dummies," presented by one super fine SF geek, Simone Boyce. Well, I thought that in the spirit of closure I'd embed her latest installment covering the final episode. I'm going to miss these . . . at least until next Spring.





LOL! Girl power indeed! I just love her bit with the plush dragon toy on her shoulder at the beginning. Simone ROCKS!!!

Whale People, Rude People . . . And Robot People!!!

Ah, Mondays in New York City. It can make a person want to go on a homicidal chopping spree.

So, I've talked about it before and I'll do so once again here: I do so HATE overly large people on the subways! They always want a seat, but yet they take up the equivalent space of around 2 or 3 fully grown men. And some of them are quite selfish about it, too. You see it all the time during rush hours. Three or four people sitting to a bench on the 4 train. One person--let's say a petite young co-ed--gets up at the next stop, leaving behind just the tiniest of spaces for someone else of equal size to sit in her place. But nooooo! Someone of equal size does not sit there next. No. For some reason Shamu in heels decides this seat is for her. Never mind the fact that she has to physically shove aside the unsuspecting passengers sitting next to her fat ass on the bench in order to park her profound rotundness in this here tiniest of spaces. No, clearly this one did not learn Newton's basic principle of physics: that "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

So there these poor people sit, now squeezed tighter than a can of sardines, slipping out of their own seats, and miserable for the rest of their ride. Mind you, this didn't happen to me. I wasn't one of those poor unfortunates sitting down when E. Honda in drag (Street Fighter video game reference) decided to ride the subway this morning. But I was standing nearby, and I sympathized with my fellow straphangers.

Now, on the return trip home? The trains were PACKED beyond belief. I barely squeezed myself in before the doors slid shut on me at Fulton Street station. At the next stop, a bunch more commuters squeezed in behind me. One dude came on and refused to remove his backpack, despite the fact that another guy was trying to get on behind him. This guy kept saying "excuse me" to the dude with the backpack, but was ignored. So the other guy got PISSED and grabbed this dude by the neck and yanked him clean off the subway! He then jumped on in his hastily vacated place, before turning around and cursing out backpack man something fierce.

Sheesh! All this just to catch the train? I now know why people get stabbed and/or shot commuting home.

See what I have to put up with on a daily basis, people? I tell ya, living and working here in the big city takes a special breed of survivor. Tourists who visit are always such easy marks because they simply cannot tap into the frenetic rhythm running like DC current throughout the streets of this mean ol town. It's no wonder that the minute I come home and step through the front door, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. As if I just barely survived to live and commute another day.

Can you believe it?

Well, that was my Monday. How was yours?

And before I leave, how about some levity? This SNL clip is in honor of my awesome friend and blog buddy, GYSC. Don't worry, pal, you still have plenty of years left before the metal ones decide to come for you.

And they will!

Game Of Thrones For Dummies

So, yeah, as you probably gathered from that last blog entry . . . I've gone a little Game of Thrones Youtube crazy. In my browsings there, I came across this wonderful web series by the very talented and lovely Simone Boyce. She's a huge fantasy geek and so, naturally, is very much addicted to the Song of Ice and Fire series. My god, where has this woman been all my life???

LOL! I jest, of course. But if I weren't already taken . . . hmmmmm. Would it be a joke then? Perchance not, my friends.

Anyway, upon seeing how confused some of her friends were after the first episode of Thrones aired last month, she started up the "Game of Thrones For Dummies" series on Youtube.

I'll post up the first video, but you can click on the links which follow to watch later episodes at your own leisure. I imagine these brief 6-minute breakdowns of each episode might be of enormous help to those of you who are either casual watchers of the show, or who have not even started watching due to feeling daunted by the wealth of back story involved.

No, that doesn't make you a "dummy" at all. Just fictionally challenged, let's say. :)

Seven hells, even if you don't have any interest in the show, check out the clip anyway because Simone does an outstanding job writing, performing, and editing these vids herself. To be honest, I'm quite awestruck by how good she is. Wow!

Geek girls RULZ!!! \_ _/





GoT For Dummies -- Episode 2
GoT For Dummies -- Episode 3
GoT For Dummies -- Episode 4
GoT For Dummies -- Episode 5
GoT For Dummies -- Episode 6

We Interrupt This Broadcast . . .

. . . To bring you this rare political-themed blog entry.

I thought for once that, considering all the commotion going on over this latest "victory" in the war against terror, I'd chime in here with some really quick reactions to the news. But first, I'll encapsulate it all with just one humorously captioned Internet pic:

Teh LOLz! I imagine him pointing straight at Donald Trump, don't you?

So what are my reactions, exactly? Well:


1) I'm glad this one man was found and finally put to justice. And in his case, justice really could only mean a bullet to the brain. It's harsh, but hey . . . thems the rocks, kid.

2) No one in America truly believes that this is the end of Al Qaeda or U.S.-directed terrorism. So all the smarmy commentary I keep reading online from overseas instigators about how Americans should tone it down and face reality can go shove something sharp and lengthy into their left eye socket. Dudes, we know! Now can you just shut the fuck up and give us this moment? Jeez!

3) That being said, from one American to another -- yeah, we should probably not be shouting and screaming in the streets like a frat party gone wrong. Ebullient and proud? Sure. Toot off a few horns and chant USA at a baseball game? Hmmm, maybe. Burning effigies and name signs in the street while chanting ROT IN HELL? Eh, I can really do without that kind of behavior now. We're supposed to be the civilized ones, remember? Remember????

4) Stop telling us that this was only one man, and that the effort, cost, and time it took to get this done was so not worth just one's man life. This was more than one man, people! In our search to catch him, scores of top level Al Qaeda leaders, soldiers, informants, and sympathizers have been apprehended or otherwise put out of business over the past decade thanks to the dedication and hard work of an international coalition of top professionals. Was it worth all the money and time? You bet your ass it was! We truly are safer now than we were before these steps were taken.

5) Yes, this was largely symbolic. But you know what? So were the attacks on the WTC and Pentagon. Only an idiot would have believed that our financial base could be negated by the fall of the former, or that our military might would be realistically crippled by the destruction of the latter. So, therefore, it was symbolic. And so is capturing and killing the head mastermind of said symbolic act.

6) No, Obama is not taking the credit from something started back in Bush's presidency. If you'd be willing to think back all of 5 years ago, the Bush administration specifically said they were scaling back CIA operations tasked with finding Bin Laden. Simply put: his capture was no longer being considered a realistic, attainable goal. However, when Obama came into office, one of the first things he said he would make a priority (after re-focusing our attention on Afghanistan) was the apprehension of one Osama bin Laden. He said this! And, guess what? He delivered!

7) If you honestly think this point will be forgotten come elections next year, you're either a crazy tea-bagger (heh, heh) . . . or FOX news.


And there you have it. Pretty much all I have to say, or will ever say, on the matter here on this blog. Life continues, and I can't say I feel any more safe than I was already feeling before the news broke (which was pretty darn safe, I might add). But it does feel like closure to have this monster no longer in our world, and for that a little part of me does sigh in relief. To our brothers and sisters fighting on our behalf out there . . . thank you for your sacrifice and dedication to protecting this nation.

And to SEAL Team Six, whoever or wherever you are: You guys ROCK! Thanks for a job well done. I look forward to playing an FPS game based on your mission sometime very soon. Because, let's face it, you know EA or Activision is already all over this!

Dead Island Trailer Parody

Okay, now normally I wouldn't want to keep bugging folks reading this blog about the same thing so often . . . but I just had to post up this vid of Toby Turner's (aka, Tobuscus) latest installment to his "Literal Trailers" line of promo parodies. This time he's poking fun at the most recent Dead Island trailer, which I first talked about just last week.

The gag behind Literal Trailers is that Toby takes the footage and music from the trailer, and then sings his own interpretation in the same melody to exactly what's taking place up on the screen -- in other words, a *literal* translation of the trailer. It's HILARIOUS!

But first off, before watching the literal version, refresh your memories by watching the original Dead Island trailer.

All set? Cool. Now watch Toby's version below:





I swear, it was SO hard for me to keep a straight face through this. I was in "literal" pain after it was over. OMG, was not expecting to laugh so much so early in the morning! My favorite part? "Prin-cess . . . of Persia" LOL! You have to be a gamer to get the reference, but it's so spot-on funny!

You know, I'm not so sure how humorous this would be to anyone else on second thought. But it was to me, and this is my blog, so therefore -- SUCK IT!

No, no. I don't mean that. You don't have to suck it, or even find the trailer funny. But if you do, and if you would like more where that came from, head on over to Toby's website. Or check out his "Tobuscus" site on Youtube, which collects all of his vids in one handy place.

I recommend taking a look at the literal trailer for the game Dead Space 2, also. Again, before watching it, you might want to first watch the original trailer for Dead Space 2 here. Then check out the Tobuscus version here. I think the Dead Island one is funnier, personally. But the DS2 one is pretty hilarious in its own right.

Heh, heh.

3-Word Movie Descriptions

One of my Facebook friends twittered some 3-word movie descriptions today.

Here were some of his examples:

Rosebud The Sled. -- Citizen Kane

*I'm* Your Father. -- Empire Strikes Back


To which I chimed in with my own:

Head In Box. -- Se7en.


Heh, heh . . . FUN, right? So, yes, of course I had to go think up a few more of my own. Then, voilà!, I thought: why not put this up on the blog? And now the fun has been passed on to you!

I decided to make a sort-of quiz for movie buffs based around the concept. Below are several 3-word movie descriptions. The answers are hidden to the right of each description. If you think you figured it out, simply highlight over the blank box with your mouse to reveal the correct answer.

Got it? Good. Let's get started:


1)  Alien Cockroach King (1997). -- Men In Black             


2)  Lotion or Hose? (1991). -- Silence of the Lambs         


3)  Save the Clocktower! (1985) -- Back to the Future         


4)  Global Warming's COLD! (2004) -- The Day After Tomorrow     


5)  Dances With Smurfs (2010). -- Avatar                             


6)  Damn Dirty Primates! (1968) -- Planet of the Apes          


7)  Archer's Now American (1991). -- Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves


8)  Robot Finds Love (2008). -- Wall-E                                   


9)  Hobo's A God (2008). -- Hancock                        


10) Vigilante Scuba Gear (2010). -- Kick-Ass!                            


11) Accountant Escapes Prison (1994). -- The Shawshank Redemption


12) Dad's My Son (1988). -- Big                                          


13) The Red Pill (1999). -- The Matrix                          


14) These Fifteen Commandments! (1981) -- History of the World: Part I  


15) Ditto To You. (1990) -- Ghost                                  


So, tell me: how well did you do? In the comments below, tell me which ones, if any, you couldn't figure out.


EDIT: I just did a Google search and found out that a website, Sporcle.com, already beat me to this. Click on this link to try their own quiz, which is better than mine. I've scored 16 out of 20 on theirs. See, mine doesn't have a time limit. Darn! I went back and added their technique of putting the year of the movie's release after each one, though, so as to make this just a little bit easier. You can thank Sporcle for that, class.

New "Cap'n" Movie Trailer Scene-By-Scene Analysis

Earlier this week in my entry concerning Super Bowl TV ads, I offered up the tv spot for the upcoming Summer blockbuster event, Captain America: The First Avenger. If you recall, I was pretty pumped by what little was revealed of this new Cap flick in that 30 second teaser.

Well, the folks over at IGN.com have been so kind as to provide a sort of frame-by-frame analysis of what the video is actually showing us less astute fans. And by "less astute," I mean YOU!

Nah, I'm just messing with ya! If you're a hardcore comics reader, then none of this is news to you. Although you might just jizz yourself a little because of how *geeking* AWESOME this movie is shaping up to be.

Anyway, below is IGN's video, part of their "Rewind Theater" series. Sound off in the comments section once you're done watching and let me know what you think, okay?

Are You Getting The Most Bang For Your Buck?

With your Internet service provider (ISP), that is?

Here, go to this website to test the speed of your Internet connection:

http://www.speedtest.net/

Now, see if your results match what your ISP claims you should be getting. If your actual speed doesn't match up favorably with their quoted offerings, then you should get them to credit your account. You shouldn't be paying full price for a gimped Internet connection.

No, seriously, don't let them get away with this BS. Some cable Internet providers, for instance, are banking on customer ignorance to keep this practice going in secret. They might even blame your hardware, or loose wiring or some such nonsense. Don't let them. This is something they do to free up bandwidth for other higher profile or more educated customers to consume. Don't be left behind!

Luckily for me, Cablevision listened and did as I asked. I was going to threaten them with leaving for Verizon FiOS, too. But turns out I didn't need to.

Still, I'm going to be switching to FiOS at some point within the year, anyway, as more and more neighborhoods in the Bronx get setup for it.

I so can't wait for that day!

I Just Have To Chime In Really Quick Here . . .

This isn't a political blog by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt I just had to take a quick time-out from tales of writerly woes and video games past and present to comment real quick on the Tuscon, AZ shooting tragedy over the weekend. Or, more specifically, comment on Sarah Palin's tragedy after the tragedy. Because, of course, she's the real victim here.

That sound you're hearing is the sarcasm alarm going off above your PC monitor -- I hope you changed the batteries within the last 6 months.

Anywho, I know I'm a little late in responding to the Palin video and Facebook page statement that's been making the rounds of, oh, just about EVERYWHERE in the past 36 hours. However, rather than dissect it piece-by-piece as has already been done by many bloggers much smarter than I . . . I thought I'd parse out one particular passage from her written statement below. The bolded sentence is what I find particularly ironic:

"After this shocking tragedy, I listened at first puzzled, then with concern, and now with sadness, to the irresponsible statements from people attempting to apportion blame for this terrible event. President Reagan said, 'We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.' Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them, not collectively with all the citizens of a state, not with those who listen to talk radio, not with maps of swing districts used by both sides of the aisle, not with law-abiding citizens who respectfully exercise their First Amendment rights at campaign rallies … journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn. That is reprehensible."

This sounds reasonable, doesn't it? After all, she's only asking the rest of the country (i.e., the liberal media) to do as she has done. To follow by her example. Who can forget, when the now infamous "Ground Zero Mosque" debate was starting to boil over just before midterm elections, how Sarah Palin waded into the thick of the ignorant hatred and beseeched us all not to blame the entire Muslim world for the acts of those handful of extremist wackjobs responsible for 9/11? Don't you all remember that? How much the voice of reason Palin was during that whole ridiculous brouhaha? We shouldn't blame the many for the few, right? Right???

Oh, wait. My bad. No, that's not what she and others in her party said at all.

Oopsie.

So I guess this idea of not laying the finger of blame for the acts of one or more individuals on an entire race, demographic, or even political campaign applies only when it aims to benefit Mrs. Palin. Color me shocked!

No, no. There's nothing to be alarmed about here, folks. Why should her reaction make anyone upset? It's not like this is a "blood libel" against an entire religion and culture, right? She's just saying that Muslims in general shouldn't build mosques at all anywhere near lower Manhattan because of what "they" did on 9/11. That's all.

Yeah.

Is This Truly Portland?

Jacked this from the blog of SF writer and Portland, OR native, Mary Robinette Kowal. It's a skit poking loving fun at the city of Portland and starring Saturday Night Live alumn, Fred Armisen. Apparently it's a promo of sorts for an upcoming mini-series on IFC called "Portlandia," which I'm guessing takes place in this northwestern city. The tune of this video is catchy at the very least, but I can't attest to the authenticity of its claims of being perpetually stuck in the 90s since I've never been there. But check out the video for yourself below. And if you're from Portland, please chime in on the comments section with your impressions:

More Advice From A Cartoon Princess . . .

Last September I introduced to this blog a series of short comedy pieces from Second City alumn, Danielle Uhlarik, titled "Advice For Young Girls From a Cartoon Princess." If you recall, the first two pieces lambasted the Disney animated films Beauty and the Beast, as well as The Little Mermaid. You can click on this link to take you back to that entry and view the original clips.

At the time, I speculated on what the subject of the next go-round would be. Well, looks like my first pick was correct. This time around, Danielle pokes the sarcasm stick at Snow White herself. I still think the Beauty and the Beast skit was the best, but check out this one too for a quick chuckle:



LOL! "Fair, fair, fairest . . .white, white, WHITEST!" Oh man, that stings. If you would like to see more of Danielle Uhlarik, check out her (very) short film, "Stages of Emily," by clicking here. She produced, wrote, and starred in this short, which I thought was fresh and very well done.

My Booklist

I recently signed up for Dropbox, a very cool service that allows you to create an online virtual folder in which you can place all your stuff (e.g., doc, pics, music, etc.) and have it accessible across any number of platforms -- home P.C., laptop, work P.C., iPhone, and so on . . . simultaneously! So, for instance, if I'm working on my novel, I can back up any new scenes into my desktop's Dropbox mirror folder, and then make small edits via my iPhone if I'm out and about and remember to add some minor plot detail I forgot. This also eliminates the need for me to constantly transfer my Word files back and forth via thumb drive, as well as providing a handy online backup of everything I write. If anything should happen to one of my computers with the Dropbox folder installed, I can still access the same files on another PC, or any platform with Internet access for that matter. Nifty!

You can take a video tour of the service by clicking here and deciding whether you want to sign up for yourself. If you do, please use that link since it's a referral linked directly to me. This way, if you do decide to join after watching the video, we'll both get an extra 250MB of storage free! And we all like free stuff, right? RIGHT????

One of the other things you can do is to allow the public to view certain items -- only those you specifically allow public access to (duh!). I wanted to try it out, so I thought I'd let the world see the book list I've been keeping all these years. In theory, this is a list of all the books I've read ever since the 1st grade. I say "in theory" because, quite frankly, trying to remember every single book I've ever read is a pain in the ass. I've been compiling this since around 2000, based on a more extensive list I kept in high school, circa 1993. And while I've only included the titles that I for a fact remember reading, a lot more have slipped through the cracks of this faulty vessel of mine I call my brain.

Click here if you want to view this list. Actually, please click on it and let me know in the comments below whether or not this works for you. The link will open a dialogue window asking if you either want to "Open" or "Save" the Word doc. I would recommend you "open" it if you just want a quick glance at the list. I'll be putting a more permanent link in my sidebar soon for archival purposes.

In the meantime, check out Dropbox and see if it's the right fit for you. Personally, I love it!

Crazy And The City

See, I told you all in part 2 of the New York City Survival Guide the steps to take to make yourself less of a target for assholes. And I mentioned, too, that you really don't want to attract any of the crazies. Well, what I forgot to say is . . . sometimes the crazies still get you, even when you obey all the rules I outlined in that blog entry.

Case in point, the video I'm embedding below. This was taken on the F train by someone else, but it's what I see myself from time to time -- crazy people let loose on unsuspecting citizens. Watch in the video how this young lady is minding her own business and doing her best to not look at, provoke, or otherwise attract the attention of this bat-shit bonkers old woman standing next to her. And yet . . . AND YET . . . she still gets slapped upside the head for no reason. Arrrgh! This kind of thing pisses me off!

But anyway, see for yourself. If you want visual proof of just how dangerously unpredictable riding the subway can be here, look no further:





Sickening, isn't it? These kinds of people need to be locked up. I realize they have mental problems, but they shouldn't be allowed to just roam the streets and subways like this. Not only are they a harm to other people, but to themselves as well.

I Guess I Just Don't Have It In Me

To be a prankster, that is. The video I'm posting below shows a guy playing a prank on his sleeping girlfriend. Watch it for yourself and see if you find it funny:



Now, while I can sit there and laugh at this, at the same time I would never ever do such a thing to my Lisa. Or to anyone, for that matter. I'm sure I've mentioned it here once before, but I've never been that guy that can laugh at other people's misfortune. Be it someone falling down some stairs, or a joke made at their expense. Even if the harm only lasts a fews seconds, those few seconds, to me, are too long.

See, my issue with practical jokes like this one is that, for even the briefest of moments the recipient of the prank is terrified out of their mind, and even (like in this young lady's case) fearful for their life. And, yes, even though it might be funny afterwards, it was decidedly unfunny for that person for the several seconds it took before she realized it was just a prank.

I don't know, to me I could just never knowingly be the cause of even one second's worth of pain and terror to my wife. Or maybe I just don't have an appreciation for the art of pranking?

Maybe. Say what you will, but I've never been able to understand why guys--and let's be honest, this seems to be a sick proclivity held mostly by males--get such great pleasure in seeing their SO's suffer in such a juvenile manner. To me, it's not funny -- it's just being an asshole.

At least, to be the one doing it. Watching as a detached, 3rd-party stranger who don't know these people, on the other hand . . . I have to say the woman's reaction in the video did elicit a chuckle out of me. Yeah, yeah, I'll admit it!

Still, don't think you'll be seeing any videos of me trying the same stunt. I would feel like such shit afterward.