Oh, The Things I Have (And Have Not) Done!

Over on Facebook, my good friend Rodney shared a pic that has been making the rounds. The pic is a list of 22 life experiences one may or may not have had, followed by an arbitrarily decided upon price point for each item on the list. To participate, you have to decided which of these activities you've done in your lifetime, then tally up the prices for each until you get your total. You then share that number with everyone on your timeline.

I won't be doing that part of the game here. But what I thought would be fun was to recreate the list, followed by a brief explanation for the one's I've done. The ones which I have not done will be highlighted in red.

Before I do this, however, a small disclaimer: the majority of these were done when I was much younger. I know, not an excuse, but hey . . . shit happens when you're young and stupid.

Now then, on to the festivities!



1.  HAD SEX:
Well, yes, obviously. I was in a relationship for 18 years, and married for 7. So needless to say sex was being had. Not an interesting statistic at all. However, to make it more interesting, I will say how old I was the first time it happened: I was 21. Does that surprise anyone? Well, it shouldn't.


2.  SMOKED:
Unfortunately, yes. Fortunately, it was only twice. I was a teenager, maybe 16 yrs old. My best friend and I were curious and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Technically it is illegal for vendors in New York City to sell cigarettes to anyone under 18 ... but living where we lived, that was not a problem. The first time I tried one, I definitely did not smoke it properly. I didn't even inhale! The second time, I did inhale ... but was not impressed. I thought it was a stupid addiction, in fact, and never went back.


3.  GOT DRUNK:
Well, duh! If you're 37 years old and have never been drunk -- you're either a devout Muslim, and I applaud you. Or you are quite sheltered. That being said, I've only been truly, stinking drunk 3 times in my life. And on each of those occasions I was able to drag my sorry ass home and sleep it off. Well, one of those times I was already home, so yay! But, yeah, I don't drink very often. And when I do, I almost never drink enough to lose control. That's just not me.


4.  WENT SKINNY DIPPING
Nope. While I don't really see the appeal, to be honest I've never had the opportunity, either. One never knows . . .


5.  KISSED SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:
This is stupid to include on the list. This and No. 1 makes me think that this was devised for much younger people on Facebook. I don't have anything interesting to add to this even. Except this fact: I was 17 when I had my first kiss.


6.  KISSED SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX:
Hell to the no! The only way I could ever conceivably do this is if I was either a) Drunk; b) Dared to, while drunk; or 3) Offered a large sum of money. While drunk!


7.  CHEATED ON A TEST:
Yeah. Not my proudest moment. Who are we kidding? That should be moments -- plural! I've cheated plenty of times on tests. Particularly in high school. What can I say? I never held very high opinions of standardized testing. If I could get away with it, even if I was fairly certain I knew the correct answer anyway, I would cheat just to make sure. There was a time when I would use any and all advantages at my disposal to get ahead.


8.  FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS:
Yes. Again, in high school. All the time. It's a wonder I ever graduated, and with honors to boot!


9.  BEEN EXPELLED:
Oh yes. Because of one such incident indicated in No. 10 below. I was constantly being bullied and picked on throughout most of my schooling. This particular incident occurred in junior high school. Some kid thought he could shove me and throw in a punch. But I ducked and laid him out flat. Literally. While wearing a baseball mitt on the other hand, too! While he provoked it, and others attested to this fact, we both ended up being expelled for a day. Luckily for me, it didn't go on my record.


10.  BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT:
Yes. Every single fist fight I've been in occurred while in school. It started in elementary when I was 9, and continued on up until high school. And I've never lost a fight. While I'm not proud that I allowed some assholes to get me to the point of actually being in a fist fight, I am proud to say that I never backed down once engaged.


11.  STOLE SOMETHING:
Sadly, yes to this. I used to steal candy and soda from the convenient store across the street from my junior high school. I had no real reason to do so, but this was really a crime of opportunity. So many kids from my school would rush into the place after class that the proprietor had no way of keeping an eye on all of us. And I was a particularly clever and nimble little boy. I could swipe something so fast you'd never see my hands move. And all the while I would be looking somewhere else and pretending to be barely clued in to existence. That was the trick, and it always worked! Until the one day when it didn't . . .


12.  DONE DRUGS:
No way. As Whitney said: Crack is whack!


13.  DYED YOUR HAIR:
No, I'm not a girl.


14.  CRIED YOURSELF TO SLEEP:
Of course! When you've had as many close family members die as I've had, this goes without saying. I've had other bad things happen to me in my life, too, so unfortunately I'm quite familiar with this practice. Who isn't?


15.  BEEN IN LOVE:
Yes. And broken out of it, too. It sucks. Again, I'm wondering who would answer "no" to this unless they're under 18.


16.  GOT CAUGHT DOING SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DOING:
I could easily use my answer to No. 11 above for this, but that's too easy. One incident when this happened was when I was caught by my boss reading a book in a hideaway corner somewhere on the job site, when I should have been shelving the books. It's probably not such a hot idea for an avid reader to get a job working in the campus library!


17.  WENT STREAKING:
No. Not even while severely, falling down drunk would I ever do this. So stupid.


18.  GOT ARRESTED:
Surprisingly, no. Although I've done more than enough stupid shit on the streets and in the subways of New York to have been arrested, even if over no serious crimes. Misdemeanors, really. But I'm happy to say my fingerprints are NOT in the system!


19.  MADE OUT WITH SOMEONE:
God, how stupid are some of these? OF COURSE I HAVE! Like I said before . . . first time when I was 17.


20.  PEED IN THE POOL:
Yes, I'm going to have to plead my young age to this disgusting act. I've been swimming in pools since I was 6 years old, so I've peed in my fair share of 'em! What? That's what they invented chlorine for, right? No? Oh well ...


21.  PLAYED SPIN THE BOTTLE:
Yes. Nothing risque came out of it, though. And another surprising fact: I was in my mid-20s the first time I played this. Hey, some parts of my life were very sheltered, believe it or not. Consider that, as I pointed out in No. 1, I lost my virginity at age 21. Now it all starts to make sense, no?


22.  DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET:
Who hasn't? Seriously! But if I had to pick one incident I really regret: When I was 5, my mother took us shopping down in the city. On the way back home we took the subway, where kids my age could just slip under the turnstyle for free. But, this one day I really wanted to see what it would feel like to spin the turny thing you have to go through when you're a paying adult. So I happened to spy this old woman with a ton of bags in her arms heading for the turnstyle. She set her bags down, dropped the coin into the slot, and then bent over to pick her bags back up before walking through. Right at that moment I ran through the turnstyle. It was so much fun! But then I turned to see the old woman bang right into it. She seemed really upset, and I ran away like the little chickenshit 5 yr old that I was. Even to this day I never forget that I've done something so terrible, and I beat myself up over it.


So there you have it, folks! No, I don't live a particularly daring or exciting life, but I dare say some of my experiences might be surprising to some of you.

And that being said: how many of these have YOU done? Or rather: which ones, by number only, have you NOT done? Let me know in the comments section below!

Top 10 Things About Me You Don't Need To Know

Just decided to have some fun and do another revealing expose into the type of guy I am. I've done this type of listed revelations thing before on the blog, of course. Most notably here, here and here. But, this one will be a little different. In this one, I will list only those odd quirks of mine that are not necessarily positive or attractive qualities to have. Or which might, at the very least, constitute as surprising even to those folks who know me well.

Sounds like loads of fun, eh?

7 Facts About Moi

Yvonne, over at Writing My Life Away, tagged me in this meme. At the time I wasn't sure I'd be able to participate, but I've given it some thought and figure: oh, what the hell?!!

Heh, heh, I know it sounds like I'm giving it such a ringing endorsement. But, nah, actually this is pretty fun. I'm finding it more and more difficult to reveal things about myself that people don't already know through reading this blog, though.

Oh well, here goes:

List 7 Facts About Yourself


1 -- In a strange way, I look forward to death. I don't want to die, and I'm not trying to be morbid in any way. What I mean is, I'm of the firm belief that NONE of the world's religions have got it right. Absolutely not one. No one has been to the great beyond and come back to tell us about it. No one. Anyone who says they have is lying. So, therefore, what happens after we die is the greatest mystery of all. My gut tells me that nothing happens, and this is probably my greatest fear. But, what if? What if there is something wonderful and unimaginable after all this? (And no, I'm not talking Heaven.) I want to crack that mystery!


2 -- I have an unusually high tolerance for pain. It's freaky. I don't know why this is, except to suspect that it could be psychological. I absorb pain and then consciously transform it into something not-pain. I know, it doesn't make sense. But it's what I do. I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed at once and while still wide awake with no drugs, except local. And one of my teeth was impacted and hooked under a nerve, too! Still, the pain was like nothing to me. I enjoyed it, in fact.


3 -- When I was 2, I stuck my finger into an electrical socket and shorted out the entire room. No electronics worked in that room ever again. And yet, aside from a mild "funny" sensation that ran through me, I was perfectly fine.


4 -- If I could support myself, I would like to do nothing but learn languages and other cultures and travel to other places for the rest of my life. Every culture appeals to me in some way. I want to immerse myself completely and lose myself. Become that culture for a few years, before moving on to another. I don't want to study people, or write Ph D's on them. I just want to BE them for a little while and see things through their eyes.


5 -- Try as I might, I cannot seem to acquire the taste for beer or hard spirits. I drink wine on occasion, but even that isn't a big part of my life like for some people. I drink socially to not stand out if other people around me are drinking, but if you come to my home you'll never find a six pack of beer in the fridge. And the rum, vodka, or tequila bottles I own have been sitting there on the shelf for 10 years now. In fact, I'm sure they've gone bad!


6 -- I've never been in a foot race and lost. True, I haven't been in many to begin with . . . but those that I have, I'm always faster than the other person(s). Yet, I never had the desire to join track. I think the real reason is that, deep down inside, I refuse the possibility of losing. I can be extremely competitive when you least expect me to be, all the while appearing like I don't give a crap.


7 -- I have anti-luck. What I mean is, my luck is never good or bad: it just doesn't exist. At all. If you gave me twenty games of chance to play, I would win 10 and lose 10. Put my name in a bag with others, and my name will never be called first or last, but always in the middle. I see this as a good thing, ultimately, but it's why I'll never ever play the lotto. My destiny doesn't seem geared toward huge spectacular luck payouts, good or bad. I suspect my luck index is as such to allow me to live without getting too ridiculously rich, or too stinking poor. Which is why I put more stock behind ability and hard work. Leave nothing to chance is my motto.


And there you have it. 7 so-called "facts" about me. Hmm, they may not read like facts to some of you. But to me they are.

I'm supposed to tag a bunch of other people in return for being tagged myself. But those of you who know me know that I never do this. So, thanks to Yvonne for the honor! I truly appreciate you thinking of me, really I do. :)

3-Word Movie Descriptions

One of my Facebook friends twittered some 3-word movie descriptions today.

Here were some of his examples:

Rosebud The Sled. -- Citizen Kane

*I'm* Your Father. -- Empire Strikes Back


To which I chimed in with my own:

Head In Box. -- Se7en.


Heh, heh . . . FUN, right? So, yes, of course I had to go think up a few more of my own. Then, voilà!, I thought: why not put this up on the blog? And now the fun has been passed on to you!

I decided to make a sort-of quiz for movie buffs based around the concept. Below are several 3-word movie descriptions. The answers are hidden to the right of each description. If you think you figured it out, simply highlight over the blank box with your mouse to reveal the correct answer.

Got it? Good. Let's get started:


1)  Alien Cockroach King (1997). -- Men In Black             


2)  Lotion or Hose? (1991). -- Silence of the Lambs         


3)  Save the Clocktower! (1985) -- Back to the Future         


4)  Global Warming's COLD! (2004) -- The Day After Tomorrow     


5)  Dances With Smurfs (2010). -- Avatar                             


6)  Damn Dirty Primates! (1968) -- Planet of the Apes          


7)  Archer's Now American (1991). -- Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves


8)  Robot Finds Love (2008). -- Wall-E                                   


9)  Hobo's A God (2008). -- Hancock                        


10) Vigilante Scuba Gear (2010). -- Kick-Ass!                            


11) Accountant Escapes Prison (1994). -- The Shawshank Redemption


12) Dad's My Son (1988). -- Big                                          


13) The Red Pill (1999). -- The Matrix                          


14) These Fifteen Commandments! (1981) -- History of the World: Part I  


15) Ditto To You. (1990) -- Ghost                                  


So, tell me: how well did you do? In the comments below, tell me which ones, if any, you couldn't figure out.


EDIT: I just did a Google search and found out that a website, Sporcle.com, already beat me to this. Click on this link to try their own quiz, which is better than mine. I've scored 16 out of 20 on theirs. See, mine doesn't have a time limit. Darn! I went back and added their technique of putting the year of the movie's release after each one, though, so as to make this just a little bit easier. You can thank Sporcle for that, class.

Interwebs Meme Madness (Part 3)

I mentioned before that these were originally meant to be completed on each Sunday, according to the blog Sunday Stealing. But, since I had arrived late to the party, I ended up completing these over the course of the last several days. So pardon me for breaking all the rules like the rebel that I am.

These 100 questions were divided into 3 parts. If you would like, click on Part 1 and Part 2 to view my answers to the first 67.

And, as always, please feel free to ask me in the comments below to elaborate on any particular response. Many of my answers have stories that go along with them.

In any event . . . now on to the next batch of questions!


PART 3
 
 
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
So many to choose from. But, in the end, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Yes, Highlander: The Series, imo, is the finest television show ever produced. I miss it so much!


69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE?
I'm a big believer in ignoring. No one gives the cold shoulder better than I do. No one.


70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Strawberry. Chocolate's a close runner-up, but when it's done right . . . nothing beats the strawberry. Yummmmm!


71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
On Earth I do, but not according to my homeworld.


72. SO IS IT GOING TO BE THE STEELERS OR THE PACKERS?
Before the Super Bowl I was already rooting for the Pack. Now I'm ecstatic! I'm so very delighted they defeated the hated Steelers.


73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Workout for an hour. Eat in front of the tv for another hour. Then write for the remainder of the night. The wife works the night shift today, so I'm on my own. And as you can see, I'm a paint the town red kind of guy.


74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE?
Wherever I happen to be living anyway. By the time I retire, that may be on the moon or under the ocean. Who knows?


75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Why would I? You're all on your own, folks!


76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
J.S. Bach's "Brandenburg" concertos. That's right, I took it back old school to the 20s -- the 1720s, that is!


77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Water. I drink over 3 liters a day. Very rarely do I drink anything else.


78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My good friend from college, Cintra.


79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Eyes. It's always the eyes. Not the color or shape, but they're expressiveness.


80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Write fiction to sell, and play video games.


81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Any kind of ethnic pride. Black, White, Latino, etc . . . I loathe it all.


82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
It used to be Fall, because up where I went to school in Vermont, Falls were real Falls--crisp and cool! Down here in NYC lately, Falls are too hot and stuffy. So now I have to say Winter is my favorite. The colder the better.


83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Hershey bar with almonds. For some reason, every year I get a major craving for them in March when the weather transitions from Winter to Spring. Don't know why, but for about 3 weeks there I have to have a Hershey almonds bar almost every single day. Don't much care for candy the rest of the year.


84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
I've been blessed to actually have two! Two friends who have been like brothers to me, and whom I cannot place above the other. The first one I've known since the 4th grade. The second one, since just before the 9th. In some real ways, I would never have made it through life without 'em!


85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Weird. It's black in certain lighting. But in reality--particularly if I'm standing under the sun--you'll see that my hair is actually very dark brown. My father's hair was black, while my mother's was blonde. Black is always dominant!


86. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown. When I was a kid, they were more hazel. My mother's eyes were blue, so this might explain that.


87. SHOE SIZE?
For sneakers and some boots, 11.5. But for dress shoes or fancy cowboy-type boots, I'm a size 12.


88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Wendy's all the way! Although, the amount of times I eat fast food in a year can literally be counted on one hand. But, yeah, Wendy's has the best fries and nuggets!


89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
We don't have one favorite fancy restaurant. To be honest, that's a rotating door of choices. But in terms of your typical "mall" eatery, it would have to be Applebee's. Over the years I've grown quite sick of places like Chili's or TGI Fridays, but my wife and I have many fond memories there from back in the day.


90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
I can tolerate it. But, no, not really. I'm not big on any type of seafood, let alone raw.


91. WATCH TV TODAY?
Yup. I watch mostly historical or nature documentaries. Today, however, had a Pawn Stars marathon on the History Channel, so I watched a ton of that.


92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
In truth, every day is the same to me. Not even my own birthday is all that special.


93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
When I was kid, I played the baritone horn in the school band. But I always wanted to learn the violin.


94. POLITICAL PARTY?
Democratic. My entire family is Republican, though. We're not very political-leaning, so no fights.


95. KISSES OR HUGS?
I'm assuming you mean among friends or acquaintances? I guess hugs. The only people I'm comfortable kissing at all are my wife and my grandma.


96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
I could never do a one night stand. She could be the most gorgeous girl in the world, and that would be nice and all. But personality is what gets me really hot and bothered. Either you have one that's compatible, or you don't. The latter means no chance in hell!


97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
An iPhone for my wife. Was meant to be a surprise, but she was about to go pre-order one herself. So I had to break the news to her and ruin Valentine's Day!


98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSE SPOUSE?
My wife is a Nurse Practitioner -- she makes a helluva lot more money than I do! I'm too pragmatic to not be a house spouse if one of us absolutely had to quit their job and stay home (like, say, with the kids). Male ego be damned!


99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Who Fears Death, by Nnedi Okorafor.


100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:
Uh, you might not have noticed, but I'm married. So the correct response is: what is this thing you call "love life?" No, but seriously . . . in one word, it's: EXHAUSTING! :)

Interwebs Meme Madness (Part 2)

Well, like I said I would, here is Part 2 of this ongoing Q&A meme. Even though I've done a number of these over the years I've been maintaining this blog, each new one reveals more zany facts about myself to those who might be interested. I especially like being asked to elaborate upon certain answers, so please don't be shy about asking down in the comments section. I promise I'll explain whatever you want me to.

And if you have not yet read Part 1 of this particular meme, click on this link to go back and, well, do so.

Also, I'm aware that number 36 is missing. I've searched all the preceding sources of this meme for it, but no one seems to know where it is. Oh, well.

In any event . . . now on to the next batch of questions!


PART 2
 
 
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?
Yes, many times. Favorite countries so far are: France, Turkey, Italy, and the Bahamas. Still many, many more to visit.


35. WEAKNESSES?
Kyrptonian meteor rocks.


37. FIRST JOB?
Age 14. Part of a work crew painting 4 miles of lampposts, fire hydrants, and emergency alarms along a main thoroughfare in the South Bronx. Oh, did I mention this was in baking July heat, while being pelted by all sorts of trash from tenement residents above us? Yeah. Good times!


38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Too many to count. I was a bored kid.


39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?
No such thing. But I do believe that there are plenty of people out there who are very compatible with any one person at any given place or time. You may or may not find one of these matches. No invisible force guarantees that you will, however.


40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE [THIS MEME]?
Seeking out new life and new civilizations, boldly.


41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
No thanks.


42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My ability to express the mathematical constant of Pi to at least 50,000 fractional digits. No, wait . . . my shoulders. Women seem to like my shoulders.


43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
No, never. I had enough trauma growing up wearing glasses. Thankfully, my teeth have always been perfect.


44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm married to her.


45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND WHAT DO YOU WANT THEIR NAMES TO BE? (OR IF YOU HAVE KIDS, TELL US ABOUT THEM.)
Pick a number from zero to zero. Their names will be: Dunno, Something, Um . . . and Lenny.


46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
King David from the Bible. I used to think this was cool. Then I read the Bible, and realized he was a two-timing, murdering, jealous scumbag. Yikes!


47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
A woman who hates children or can't get along with them. Something's wrong there.


48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
When I was given a piece a paper written in Latin, then told I would never have to come back.


49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Pantene Pro V for Men. Scared yet?


50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I type up even grocery lists.


51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Maple honey-glazed turkey. Although I almost never eat lunch meat.


52. ANY BAD HABITS?
These aren't the droids you're looking for . . . move along.


53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
It's hard to be jealous when no one's better than you.


54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No. Look back at number 53 -- he's a cocky sonuvabitch, ain't he?


55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
If my friend can predict the future, then hell yeah I agree with the benefit of him hooking me up with those winning lotto numbers.


56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Only to the extent needed to determine basic hygiene and sanity of the other party. Otherwise, not very much.


57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
The cemeteries of the world are filled with . . . oh, video games. Yes, that.


58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
Gain 58 pounds. I would probably die from severe renal failure if I were to suddenly drop 58 pounds. But, OTOH, losing excess weight is extremely easy.


59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women. But I'd take a nice beach villa in southern France barring all that.


60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
The power socket. Never got old. WHOOOO!


61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Not including the area code, only three. No, seriously.


62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Barney Miller? Barney Rubble? Barney the albino serial killer, scourge of the lower East Side? If the last one, I heard he took on a secret identity as a costumed actor in a kids show during the 90s. That takes real balls, if you ask me.


63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Pfft! Whaaaa? Me????


64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Mac n cheese. I'm not a fan of formless, mushy foods. I should find out why one of these days . . .


65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A LOVER?
Orifices.


66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
I have none. The name's David. Nothing more, nothing less.


67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
Self-regulating invincibility from all adverse aggressors. When you really think hard on it, this is the best and only super power you'll ever need.


Click here to read Part 3 of this meme.

Interwebs Meme Madness (Part 1)

A follower of The Bimillennial Man, KLo, had this questionnaire meme up on her blog yesterday. Apparently she got it from the Sunday Stealing blog, which in turn got it from somewhere else, which in turn . . . anyway, you get the idea.

Apparently this is a 3-part series, with each segment intended to be filled out every Sunday. But since I came to this late, I think I'll start the first leg now and then continue until the 3rd set is posted this coming Sunday. How's that sound to everyone?

As usual, my answers to some of these questions might surprise even those of you who know me very well. At the very least, it should be a fun exercise if you want to post your own answers up on your blog. If you do decide to do so, please let me know in my comments section below.

And now, on to the questions!



1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
On my left knee. I got it when I unfortunately mistimed a changing light at the bottom of a steep hill and flew down it at top speed on my mountain bike. A taxi cab intersected me and taught me a valuable lesson in basic Newtonian physics that day.


2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM
Mostly bare walls. I'm not big on hanging art.


3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
None of the above. I'm such a light sleeper that I would get no rest if I produced such unseemly noises.


4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
What have you got? No, seriously, I have as much loyalty to any one style of music as a wandering circus clown has to his women. Oh wait, that's a sad story . . .


5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
7:14 am. The Hour of the Dragon in Chinese astrology.


6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Unlimited airfare to travel anywhere in the world and as often as I want.


7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Olden days of yore.


8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Nothing at the moment. Everything I own is useless junk to keep me occupied if you really think about it.


9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
182 centimeters.


10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Walking through a narrow Parisian alley claustrophobic? No. Buried alive in a coffin claustrophobic? Uh, HELL YEAH!


11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Only when the lights are off.


12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My grandma.


13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Suffocating.


14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Usually the darker the better. But honestly, whatever works on you. I like variety!


15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
Already proposed. And it was on a moonlit horse and carriage ride through New York's Central Park.


16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Neither. I only need the power of the sun to get me going most mornings (fusion backup cells on cloudy days).


17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni. No, seriously . . . you better put some more on my slice, bucko!


18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Mmmmm . . . pepperoni pizza. Now I can't think of anything else, damn you!


19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Peppero--oh, oops! Sorry. Blue. I meant to say, blue. Wrote a poem about it once. Ah, my "Ode to Blue" . . .


20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Hell no! I have a difficult time killing anything not meant to further my survival.


21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
My Spider-Man watch on my 7th birthday. We couldn't afford much, and mom went all out on that.


22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
I'm married. So my answer better be my wife -- which it is! (okay, honey?)


23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No. But my wife is. *wink, wink*


24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I'm a man. The brand that's called "just jeans and shirts," moron.


25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
Emmanuelle Chriqui. Classiness personified!


26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
No. I like to travel a lot. Pets just get in the way of all that.


27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Used to have a cat growing up. Best cat ever! (R.I.P, Tiger)


28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yes. Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. Or something like that.


30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?
A number from one to a hundred. (C'mon, you had to know I would)


31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
I lean more toward the darker hues, but neither is a deal maker or breaker when it comes down to it. More important things to look for.


32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
"I am not young enough to know everything." -- Oscar Wilde

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Paris, France. Cannot get enough of that city.



And there you have it. As usual, if anybody would like elaboration on any of the answers above, just ask me in the comments section and I'll try my best to accommodate.

Click here to read Part 2 of this meme.

10 Questions

My good friend, Rodney, over on his blog last night, mentioned "Inside The Actor's Studio" on the Bravo network. And, more specifically, the 10-question mini interview devised by Bernard Pivot and given to guests of the show.

I figured I'd provide my own answers just for shits and giggles today:

01. What is your favorite word?
Prognosticate. (Sounds fairly disgusting, but yet nerdy at the same time)

02. What is your least favorite word?
The N word.

03. What turns you on?
A woman smarter than me.

04. What turns you off?
High maintenance women.

05. What sound or noise do you love?
Shakuhachi flute.

06. What sound or noise do you hate?
People singing/rapping to themselves in public.

07. What is your favorite curse word?
Sonuvafuck!

08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Comedian. (Yeah, no shit)

09. What profession would you not like to do?
Livestock masturbator. (Look it up, it ain't pretty)

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I'm sending you back on a mission. Here's your sword!

My Totem Sci-Fi Writer

Took this quiz today to discover who my inner sci-fi writer is. See the result:

I am: James Tiptree, Jr. (Alice B. Sheldon) In the 1970s she was perhaps the most memorable, and one of the most popular, short story writers. Her real life was as fantastic as her fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Funny. I know the quiz skewed my answers towards this results based only on the one or two introspective choices I picked. But whatever, I'm honored! I've read a few James Tiptree, Jr. stories back when, like everyone else, I thought she was a man. Once the real identity of this amazingly gifted person came to light (can't believe she was once a SPOOK!), it was of course too late. Why do the best and most gifted have to leave us so soon?

I've been meaning to get around to reading the award-winning personal portrait written by Julie Phillips of the late great Alice B. Sheldon. It got the SF community in a buzz a couple of years back, I recall. Maybe I should take this as a sign to get cracking on that, and add it to my reading list.

Why don't you take the quiz and see which sci-fi writer you have slumming around in the dusty attic of your psyche?

Thanks go to my friend, Ashe, over at the Dragunz Den for making me aware of this.

The Ultimate Highlander: The Series Quiz!

Fans of the Highlander tv show might want to check this one out.

There's a new quiz game app on Facebook making the rounds, and it's called Know-It-All. This is a user based app that allows members to create their own quizzes and allow other people to come in and attempt to get as many answers correct in the allotted time. Points from correct answers are tallied, and users can accumulate a score across a wide range of quiz options created by all sorts of people. There are quizzes on virtually every subject!

If you have a mind, please check out my own specially created Highlander quiz here. I believe you have to be a member of Facebook to access this, but don't hold me to that. Why not give it a try and see how well you can do?

I'm warning you, though, this is for serious fans only. I've made some of these questions super hard that only true fans will get. But have no fear, the 20 questions are all multiple choice answers. I had a little fun making up some of these answers, so I hope you enjoy!

By the by, this might also be a good time to add me to your Facebook friends if you haven't done so already. I'm always looking for more people to add! You can view my FB info over on the right hand column of my main page on this blog (near the top), and click on the badge to jump over to my profile. Or, click on this direct link if that doesn't work.

Enjoy the quiz. I sure had fun making it!

Jeez, I Guess I Suck At Spelling . . .

Okay, everybody take a quick 5 minutes to try out this quiz:

The 25 Most Commonly Misspelled Words, from BusinessWriting.com.

I got a 70% -- or 19/27 correct, which the site tells me is "good," but which I consider HORRIBLY, horribly BAD!!!

You'd think I would know how to spell these words since:

A) I pretend to be a writer; and
B) I actually work for a business where much writing and editing is carried out (oops!)

Anyway . . . don't tell my boss, mmmkay? (shhhh!)

Oddly enough, I spelled all the British words correctly. I used to get in trouble in elementary school for using the British spellings of certain words like "colour" and "aluminium," even though I'm not British and have never been to jolly ol' England. I think it's from all the Arthur Conan Doyle and Rudyard Kipling I read growing up.

Post in the comments section and let me know how you did.

A Quick Little Q&A Meme

Captain Hook over at Hook's Happenings posted this little meme, and I promised her I'd answer the 5 questions here. So here goes:

1) Who is the favorite person in your family?
That would be my grandmother. After my mother died, she quit her job and dreams of becoming an R.N. to take us in and raise us. Learning about all the heartache and hardships she's been through growing up, it truly made me realize than my own horrible childhood was like a Disneyland ride compared to hers. She's my inspiration and source of all my strength in this world.

2) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you pick?
Of course, everyone knows I'm going to say Vermont. Preferably the northwest portion in either Addison or Chittenden counties -- the Lake Champlain region. I went to school there for four years, and it truly is the ideal place to live for me. Sparsely populated (at least, compared to NYC), filled with nature's beauty and the majestic Green Mountains, and the people there are pretty low key. Great place for peace and quiet and to write. Not to mention raising a family. I miss it there.

3) If you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?
Okay, this might sound completely reactionary to current events, but I don't care. I want to meet Pres. Barack Obama. I don't think he's the second coming of Christ like some people do, but I do believe he represents all of America. Yes, even the redneck, racist parts. Though maybe not so much. Still, he symbolizes the promise of this country that all true patriots believe in: and that is, that no matter who you are, your background or religion, if you uphold the principles of this nation, then you are qualified to be its leader. Pres. Obama might not be able to turn water into wine (or red ink into greenbacks, as it may be), but he's the first president I actually *believe* in. Not even Clinton garnered such respect from me.

4) You get a free round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
So easy: Mongolia! I don't know why, but I'm drawn to this place. I just want to spend three weeks there bouncing across the nomadic steppes and meeting all the people and witnessing all the rugged beauty of that land that I can. I would also use the opportunity to slip into China while I'm in that neck of the woods, and fulfill two dream journeys at once! Of course, China's a whole separate vacation in itself. One I would need to spend a lot more than just 3 weeks to adequately explore.

5) Have you ever dreamt your own death? How did you die, if so?
For some reason, it is impossible for me to die in my dreams. I've been in many precarious scenarios where I *almost* die, but like a Hollywood movie something always happens at the last second to save my ass. Usually, I suddenly remember that I can fly and then leap into air and leave the bad guys behind! :) I've had a sword bounce off my neck like rubber when someone tried to decapitate me once, and bullets deflect off my chest like Superman. I think the thought of my own death is something my mind refuses to process. How's that for wish fulfillment?


Well, that was interesting. Good questions! If anyone else wants to tackle them, post the answers in the comments section of this entry, or a link to your own blog's update.

Writerly Quiz

I took this quiz to determine "What Type of Writer I Should Be." Big surprise I got the result I did, huh? :)

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

What type of writer are YOU?

Personality Quiz

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HFPS - The Humanitarian

Humanity, Foreground, Big Picture, and Shape

"You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable."

Take The Perception Personality Image Test

For those of you who know me, this is about as far from the real me as you can get. I'm not much of a people person, and I think it's safe to say that I do nothing *but* speculate about future possibilities. Hey, isn't that the whole point of my writing? :-)

But anyway, why don't you click on the link above and give it a try yourself? The test will show you a series of 10 images. You're then asked two questions following each image -- but try not to think too hard! Afterwards, drop into the comments box here and let me know your results.

Thanks to Cindy over at A Little Sweet, A Little Sour for posting this.