Movie News Monday

Yes, I'm fully aware that today is not in fact Monday. But seeing as how I just got back from taking a few days off, it feels like a Monday to my mind. And one's state of mind is really what's important, wouldn't you agree?

Since I was out of touch with the interwebs for the most part during this brief hiatus, I was surprised by a couple of new developments in movie land while I was away. One good, one bad . . . and one interesting little tidbit.

I will, of course, start with THE BAD first. And it's an infuriating bad for me:


3-D Can Go Suck A Big One!

Yes, I regret to say that G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the second installment in the live-action series, has become the latest casualty of the idiotic 3-D push by Hollywood execs. Now, let me see if I can get this straight. See, this movie was looking pretty awesome. As some of you may recall, I gushed about it right here on this blog a few months back. Unlike the first film which was an all-around turd, I actually thought this one was shaping up to be the movie us fans had been waiting for. But now we're going to have to wait a very long time to get our Joe fix. A lot longer, in fact.

Originally slated to appear in theaters next month, G.I. Joe: Retaliation has now been pushed all the way back until March of 2013 -- that's NEXT YEAR, folks!

WTF?

And why is this being done? All so that the movie--already filmed and in the can, mind you--can get retrofitted with a new 3-D transfer. That's right. A film that has already finished being made and which was damn near ready to see release in theaters will be shelved for nearly 9 months so that the film execs can slap a 3-D certificate on it and charge a buttload more money on ticket prices.

I got your NO-DEE right heeere!

There's some other mumbo-jumbo the film execs are mouthing to justify this stupidity, but honestly talking about it here is only going to make me angrier. So, if you really want to read all the little details, check out the full story by clicking on the link right here.

This is some BULL SHIT!!!

And now on to the INTERESTING tidbit I mentioned earlier:


There Can Be [Maybe] Only One [Remake]!

Now normally the news of one of my most beloved 80s movies being rebooted would fall firmly under the "FURIOUS HEATED HATRED OF A THOUSANDS SUNS" category here on The Bimillennial Man . . . but honestly I've had a while to deal with this news and the remake of the 1986 cult classic, Highlander, no longer infuriates me like it did over a year ago when I first learned of this. But, what I am intrigued about is the most recent news over who The Powers That Be may cast as their titular hero. None other than Mr. Van Wilder himself--Ryan Reynolds!!!

This news seems to have met with a lot of anguish and hostile resistance from Highlander fans and non-fans alike, but I actually like the idea. Why? Well, because I always felt the franchise could do better with a little more thought and effort--and, hell, MONEY--put into it. Now RR being in the movie doesn't automatically mean we'll get either of these three things, but it's a good start. He's a fairly well-known name and has been in some big time popular movies (Blade III, Wolverine, Green Lantern . . . Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle). And plus, I actually like Ryan Reynolds! He's played some cool roles, and can do both drama and action perfectly fine.

He may be Immortal, but does he have inside him blood of kings?

And if he brings a little bit of comedic timing to some of the scenes, so what? Ain't nothing wrong with a little humor. Even Christopher "heh heh, what kept you!" Lambert infused a little mirth into the original role. So bite me, people! I for one would love for this news to be true. Unfortunately, Mr. Reynolds has only shown a cursory interest in the role. He's a busy dude these days, so it's possible he won't be taking on the kilt and fake brogue of our noble hero after all. But he has read for the role, and for that I'm hopeful. You can click here to read more if you like.

And now for THE GOOD:


The Name's . . . Skyfall.

Finally! As a huge James Bond fan--and an even HUGER Daniel Craig as James Bond fan--I'm so happy that they've decided to release a trailer at long last for the next installment in the franchise, Skyfall. It's slated to hit theaters on November 9th later this year, but get your sneak peek below to tide you over until then:





Oh man, this is just what I need! I'm so thrilled by what I'm seeing so far. I love the two shots fired while crossing laterally across the room in a suit. How freakin BOSS is that? I'm especially excited because Javier Bardem has been cast as the baddie this time around. And also because the director is none other than Sam Mendes, of American Beauty, Jarhead, and Road to Perdition fame. While his mixed pedigree of films might give some cause to worry, I actually have great confidence in this guy's talents. Can't wait to see if I'm proven right! Looking at the trailer alone, I get the feeling that this will be an even darker installment than the last two Daniel Craig-starring Bond flicks were.

And that, as they say, is music to my ears!

G.I. Joe Done Right!

So, I don't think I've talked about it much here . . . but I hated that live-action G.I. Joe film that came out 2 years back: The Rise of Cobra. It wasn't a spectacular fail of my 80s childhood by any means (I liked it a lot better than the Michael Bay Transformers movies, for example), but it still left a lot to be desired by this fan.

Well, looks like that might all be changing when the sequel hits theaters next summer. At least, going by the recently released trailer, that is. Check it out below for yourselves:





Whoa! I like! I like it very, very much. I don't know how this is possible, but in some ways this one little trailer alone is far better than the entire 2009 film. HOLY HELLS! And yes, yes . . . I know that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is now in this as "Roadblock," and that all the talk is about Bruce Willis's surprise cameo as the original "Joe" -- General Joe Colton. That's all cool and all. And, in fact, Willis's delivery at the end of the trailer is just damn hilarious!

But forget all that! Do you know who I'm excited to see in this movie the most? My favorite ninja girl -- Jinx!

You spot her a few times in the trailer with the red blind fold. She's a scion of the famed ninja clan, the Arashikage, and is a disciple of the one and only "Blind Master" (played by the RZA, of all people) -- hence her "blind" fighting style, which I just think is the epitome of AWESOME!

I first fell in love with this character in the original G.I. Joe cartoon movie released back in 1987. She was part of the new rookie recruits known as the "Rawhides", trained by "Beach Head." In fact, one of my all time favorite scenes in the movie is when Beach Head gives her a hard time and tests her to see if she's got what it takes to join his team. Check out the clip below, which I'm sure will bring back tons of memories to you fellow 80s kids out there! :)





They just don't do animation this well anymore, do they?

And, oh how I love this scene! And from this point on, little 10-year old me was a die-hard Jinx fan! I would even dare say I had a huge crush on her. *blushes*

So, imagine how pleased I was to find out that the talented and beautiful French actress, Elodie Yung, would be playing her in the film. Are you serious? SCORE!!!! To be sure, I only know her previously from the movie, District 13: Ultimatum -- but she was one of the more memorable presences in that otherwise forgettable film.

Yeah, I think she might just work out fine!

G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation is currently slated for release on June 29, 2012 -- the weekend before Independence Day here in the States. I, for one, will be there opening day!

Hollywood's Desperate . . . And More Dead Island!

Well, I told you I would update you on more Dead Island news whenever it became available. And now there's word that I'm not the only who was seriously impressed by the trailer of the game, which I first discussed here. Word has it that some Hollywood execs were so impressed by the video--which quickly went viral upon its revealing--that they immediately put the game on the fast track for development as a movie despite next to nothing even being known about the title. Not only that, but they specifically want the movie to be a Memento-style zombie survival flick--all because the trailer is shown in reverse order and in spite of the fact that the game itself will not play out in this fashion.

Can I get a big WTF?

Damn, Hollywood execs! Are you really that hard up for ideas? Not only are you making a movie out of a game that hasn't even been released yet, but you're specifically asking for it to be in a style that was only dreamed up by the game's PR minds for the purpose of marketing only?

It's a bizarre world we live in, folks. If you'd like, you can read the full story over at IGN Movies.

And while we're mentioning IGN, who first brought us the original trailer for Dead Island, the "Rewind Theater" folks over there have already dissected said vid and pointed out some juicy tidbits some of you may not have noticed upon your first viewing. Or, in my case, the 30th viewing!

In any event, below is their dissection of the Dead Island trailer. I think it'll be worth your while to watch, simply because it shows you only how awesome the trailer really is! This is quickly becoming the breakout title of the year that I had no idea was coming out.

New "Cap'n" Movie Trailer Scene-By-Scene Analysis

Earlier this week in my entry concerning Super Bowl TV ads, I offered up the tv spot for the upcoming Summer blockbuster event, Captain America: The First Avenger. If you recall, I was pretty pumped by what little was revealed of this new Cap flick in that 30 second teaser.

Well, the folks over at IGN.com have been so kind as to provide a sort of frame-by-frame analysis of what the video is actually showing us less astute fans. And by "less astute," I mean YOU!

Nah, I'm just messing with ya! If you're a hardcore comics reader, then none of this is news to you. Although you might just jizz yourself a little because of how *geeking* AWESOME this movie is shaping up to be.

Anyway, below is IGN's video, part of their "Rewind Theater" series. Sound off in the comments section once you're done watching and let me know what you think, okay?

In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night

No evil shall escape my sight!

Can't say that I've ever been a huge Green Lantern fan growing up. Save for Batman and Superman, most of the Silver Age DC comics superheroes always seemed so lame. I'm more of a Marvel guy. But the new movie coming out sometime next year, starring Ryan Reynolds as the Hal Jordan iteration of the Lantern, is shaping up rather nicely. This is the first official trailer to be seen by anybody. Check it out for yourselves, even if you don't know anything about the property. I daresay this doesn't seem quite so lame as I thought it would be. What about you?

New Disney Animated Film In November

Because, after all, what's Thanksgiving without a new Disney cartoon in theaters? Ahh, just like old times again!

This new film is being called "Tangled," a riff on the classic Rapunzel tale. Check out the trailer for yourself below:



That's Zachary Levi of "Chuck" and "Shades of Ray" (a very good flick, btw) fame voicing the bandit/thief character, and Mandy Moore as Rapunzel. There's something I dig a lot about what I'm seeing with this trailer. It looks like a lot of fun. Perhaps it's the fact that the interaction between the two main characters reminds me A LOT of two of my favorite video games to come out recently -- Prince of Persia (2008 version), and Uncharted. Levi's performance in particular reminds me of The Prince and Nathan Drake characters combined, which is very much a good thing in my book. The voice actor for both these game heroes, incidentally, is Nolan North. So I guess I should say that Zach Levi is channeling Nolan North in this movie. Still not such a bad thing. I like North's irreverent-but-charming leading man portrayals.

Anyway, the animation in "Tangled" looks fabulous so far, although I find myself missing the warm, cherished hand-drawn look of last year's "The Princess and the Frog". But Disney is Disney, so I'm sure Lisa and I will enjoy this film a lot regardless. We usually do.

Look for it to hit theaters on November 24 -- the day before Thanksgiving. I shudder to think what the theaters are going to look like Friday night. Think about it: day after a major family holiday; kids are out of school; parents have done all their Black Friday shopping for the day; don't feel like staying home and cooking that evening; new Disney cartoon out. Ugh! Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Yeah, I think we'll be catching this the Wednesday it hits, before the crowds do.

Dave! Talking Movies . . . (Making Copies!!!)

I warned you, didn't I? Behold the return of the video blog -- now with more ramble.



If you want to check out the first released still pic of Chris Hemsworth as Thor, click here.

To see the trailer for Jonah Hex, click here.

What do you think? Is Jonah Hex going to suffer the same fate as Will Smith's Wild Wild West? In other words, are you getting a severe campy vibe from the little footage being shown? I'm having some misgiving about this now, but I think in the end Josh Brolin will save the day. He's the only awesome thing about this so far.

Is There Such A Thing As Too Much Awesome In One Movie?

OMG! This movie is like every 80s action junkie's wet dream come true! If a more kick-ass ensemble ever existed on celluloid before, I'll eat my socks. Let's break it down by actor here:

Sylvester Stallone
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Bruce Willis
Mickey Rourke
Eric Roberts

AND

Dolph Lundgren!!!

And . . . AND . . . it's being directed by Stallone, too? I mean, what the hell? Did I just walk into some parallel dimension where movies are now made of pure epic WIN? When did this movie get greenlit?

Anyway, in case you need visual proof, here's the trailer for the upcoming summer action blockbuster, The Expendables:



I'm so there for this on DAY ONE! Who's with me?

Hey, Another Karate Kid Trailer!

I talked about the new Karate Kid movie starring Will Smith's son, Jaden, a while back in this post. I had also posted the first official trailer with the news, and made my usual comments. Suffice to say I'm still stoked beyond belief to catch this when it comes out in June.

I already posted this on Facebook, but I had to put it here for posterity. You can check out the second trailer below, which reveals more scenes between Jackie Chan and Jaden:



I absolutely *LOVE* this trailer! It is so awesome how serious they seem to be taking the material. The cinematography, the story, the choreography . . . it's all clicking in a good way. Not at all the cheesy mess I had originally thought it would be.

Still, I'm a little surprised at the amount of negativity these trailers are being met with by jaded ass-hat message board members. Over at Mania.com, they can't stop ragging on the film. A lot of it seems to be based on ignorance. I don't think anyone there has actually watched the trailers. They're just bashing the movie based on their own suppositions. Which is weird. Click on the link if you want to read my own contribution to the discussion. I'm under an alias, but those who know me should know which commenter I am.

I have to wonder, though: is all the animosity really because they just can't stand the thought of a Karate Kid movie starring a young black actor? Hmmmm, maybe. I would hope not, but you never can tell. If the kid was some up-and-coming young white thesp, would these complainers be willing to cut him more slack? I don't know why everyone is writing Jaden Smith off. Everything I've seen him  in has indicated he is a solid actor who might just one day be big. Not as big as his daddy, perhaps. But you never know.

Some of the complaints are so tired, though. Like the complaint about the title having the word "karate" in it despite the setting being in China where kung-fu is the name of the game. I admit, I had my peevish moment or two over the same subject . . . but now I'm finding out some interesting tidbits of information. For one, Jaden's character is supposed to know some Karate. He learned it while in Detroit. Second, it seems he tries to use what little Karate he knows to defend himself against the wu-shu trained bullies at his new school in Beijing.

Given this revelation into the story, it now makes total sense to have the name of the movie still retain the "Karate Kid" moniker despite the fact that the martial art being showcased this time is Kung-Fu. See, the title is ironic. He technically is a "karate kid" because that's all he knows at the start of the movie. But what Jackie Chan will teach him in order to overcome his fears is kung-fu. And as the trailer shows, learning real kung-fu is not about learning to throw punches.

I mean, wow! Can it get any more moving than that? I get goosebumps seeing Chan's scenes in the trailer. I think anyone who simply writes off this movie as being "yet another boring remake" is doing themselves a disservice. Give the trailers a watch, and then come back and tell me what you think.

For the record, I'm usually very much against remakes. But in this case, I don't think this qualifies as a remake. More like a re-imagining, but even that doesn't quite capture it. I just think it should be viewed as a standalone film. Yes, the title is there to evoke a connection with the first trio of films starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita. But, at the same time, the title also works much better for the irony implied.

And that, my friends, gives me high hopes that this won't just be your typical run-of-the-mill Hollywood money maker scheme.

One can only hope.

More Indie Sci-fi Goodness

As you know from my previous reviews of films like Moon, I'm a big fan of the small-budgeted sci-fi flicks which are finding an increased presence at film festivals the world over. It's refreshing to see an emphasis returning to smaller, intimate projects as opposed to the bloated big-budgeted affairs Hollywood has had a boner for over the last couple of decades. After all, least we forget, the original Star Wars was made on a relative shoe-string budget. Of course, Lucas has now become the poster boy for sci-fi glut. Ironic, huh?

Anyway, over on his blog, sci-fi author Tobias Buckell made mention of a new indie sci-fi short film out of Africa, called Pumzi. I was intrigued and decided to check the trailer out. Take a gander for yourself:



Ooh, pretty nice! It's so great seeing not only a small, well-done production like this in the genre, but by a non-Western perspective as well. And the lead is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The actress' name is Kudzani Moswela, a 22 year old newcomer to the game, and I sure do hope we see more of her. She makes me all a-tingly in certain places, LOL!

Added more to the intrigue of this project is that it was independently produced by the film's award-winning writer/director, Wanuri Kahiu--a Kenyan woman! You can read more here about the production and the hoops and loops she had to jump through just to get this off the ground. I think what heartens me the most is that she wants to try and get this made into a feature-length film, much in the same way South African writer/director Neil Blomkamp got his indie short, Alive In JoBurg, remade into District 9, last year's summer sci-fi breakthrough.

If I had only one negative quip about what the trailer reveals, it's that the story seems extremely derivative of past sci-fi movies. The biggest similarity falls between Equilibrium and The Island. The first movie dealt with a small, totalitarian society in which dreams and emotional expressions have been suppressed and enforced by the law. The second movie, The Island, was a big-budgeted mess of a film that depicted a secluded underground world in which denizens were kept in check by means of routinely ingested medication and directed to never go outside because the land was a radioactive wasteland. When, in fact, it was not.

Still, these similarities aside, I'm every bit stoked to see this. It's only 20-minutes long and seems the only place I'll ever get to catch this is at this year's Sundance Film Festival. Which means, not at all. Don't know how long it will take for it to see home video release (doubtful at all) or, at least, some form of online distribution. My best bet would be to wait for it to to be expanded into full-feature length, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for that. But if I hear something otherwise, I'll be sure to let ya'll know. Because, you see, that's how I roll.

Or, you know, you can just check out the film's official website for news when it becomes available. Yeah, something like that.

First Karate Kid Remake Trailer

I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face.

See, the Karate Kid is one of my most favorite of 80s movies -- right up there with The Last Dragon and Coming to America. These movies are so indelibly connected to 80s nostalgia in my mind. Karate Kid in particular holds a special place in my movie-loving heart. It instantly transports me back to being 8 years old. I've seen this movie so many times I can recite it word for word.

See also, the Internet is full of jaded ass-hats. They heard that a remake was in the works, and that the core concept was being altered. Instead of Karate, the focus this time would be Kung-fu. And instead of an old Japanese man teaching a young American kid a martial art from his home country, this time it was an old Chinese man played by Jackie Chan. And--worst of all, according to these same ass-hats--the Ralph Macchio character, Daniel, was now Andre or "Dre" and being portrayed by Will Smith's son, Jaden.

Loud was the collective nerdgassing heard around the interwebs at this news. Loud, I tell you! Everyone and their crippled autistic uncles swore that this movie had no choice but to SUCK and suck it hard.

But now I've seen the trailer, and so shall you. And you will see why it is that I have a big grin on my face, and why it is that I think the cherished memories of my 80s youth have not been unduly molested. Click on the embedded Yahoo player below and judge for yourself:



Now I ask you, does this movie not look like THE SHIT? Because, to me, it kicks all 31 assorted flavors of ASS! This is so cool! I can't wait to watch this. I think the tone is just about perfect and, being that I love all things China, the setting is way cooler that the California "valley" of the original.

Go Jaden! I knew you could do it! Following in the esteemed footsteps of your daddy. You're going to take over the Hollywood game, I just *know* it.

Robin Hood Trailer - OH MY GAWD!!!

I swear, is there no better director out there than Ridley Scott? Of course, I think I've about had enough of his collaborating with Russell Crowe, though. Haven't you?

Still, the man is a fine actor, so I can't really knock the relationship too hard. And judging by this teaser trailer for the upcoming Robin Hood historical hitting theaters next Summer, it's a pairing that obviously WORKS so well!



Wow, color me impressed. I still have a soft spot for the Kevin Costner-starring Prince of Thieves released back in the early 90s, but this is looking to be the most definitive Robin Hood portrayal yet! Woo-hoo! I really can't get enough of the tale . . . no matter how many times they re-imagine it.

Movie Maven: Tara's December Picks

Well, it's that time of year when all the best movies are crammed into one or two weeks it seems. Avatar and Sherlock Holmes are my top 2 for the month, but The Lovely Bones is also a contender. And, hey, it's a Peter Jackson movie too! December really is PJ's month, y'know? What with all 3 LotR films AND the under appreciated King Kong all seeing release in this month. Hey, why change a good thing?

As always, click on the movie player below to watch this week's webisode of Mania.com's Movie Maven:



LOL! I'm loving the Xmas 'jammies Tara's wearing on Dec. 25th. Simply ADORABLE!

Can Summer Blockbuster Season Come Any Faster, Please?

Two words:

War. Machine.

'Nuff said!

This Week At The Movies

The Movie Maven, Tara Perry, strikes again with this week's movies -- two of which have already seen wide release prior to this week.



Ms. Perry is definitely getting better at this. If this is your first time watching her segment, which is presented via the folks over at Mania.com, maybe the charm might be lost on you. But I think she's AWESOME! If you remember, I posted another one of these videos here earlier this month.

I'm watching Ninja Assassin for sure. I can't wait for that! I will also catch The Road. I've been waiting AGES for this movie, it seems. The teaser came out almost 2 years ago!

I'm not so sure I want to see Fantastic Mr. Fox. I don't know, the director Wes Anderson is hit or miss with me. I mean, I generally like his movies. Really, I do! But sometimes it feels like I'm not quite getting the punchline. The Royal Tenenbaums, I'm looking straight at YOU!

And besides, I have way too many OTHER movies to catch this Thanksgiving break. So much so that I don't even know where to begin. Let's see:

The Road
Ninja Assassin
Precious
The Blind Side
The Princess and the Frog
Michael Jackson's This Is It!
A Christmas Carol
New Moon
2012

And that's just this week alone! WTF? Admittedly, I can do without the last two on this list. After all, I pretty much reamed 2012 out here on this very blog. But I figure even a spectacularly dumb-science movie such as this has its merits, ala popcorn fun. Still don't truly expect me to be wasting my time on this one. It's more like a backup plan in case the other movies are sold out or not conveniently scheduled.

And New Moon -- eh? On the one hand I want to hate this movie so much because of all the teeny-bopper girlie nonsense. But, you know what? If I just ignore all that and watch it on its own merits, maybe I'll like it. It's hard for me to stay away from vampire movies, no matter how atrociously written the dialogue and the original books are. To this day, though, I still say that Anne Rice conquered this territory, and that the likes of Stephenie Meyer and Charlaine Harris are just borrowing from the groundwork she laid down over three decades ago.

Anyway, both movies are a moot point. Realistically I only see myself catching 3 of the movies off this list: 1) The Blind Side; 2) The Road; and 3) Ninja Assassin. However, conceivably The Blind Side can be switched out for Precious and I wouldn't mind.

Oh and btw, if you want to see a trailer for The Blind Side, click on my entry from last month.

What do you think? Any of these films strike your fancy?

You People Suck!

Thanks a lot, movie-going public. Way to ruin my hopes of a box office bomb. After talking major trash against the latest Roland Emmerich doomsday flick, 2012, both here and here, looks like the unassuming masses ignored my entreaties and flocked to their theaters in droves. Click on the article below to read the exact numbers:

2012 Makes Ridiculous Bank Worldwide.

Bleh! Now I'm sick to my stomach. Why, people, WHY? Why do you reward such shite? Oh well, that's okay. I spent my weekend watching Stargate and Watchmen on Blu-ray instead.

So, yeah, I automatically win. (nyah, nyah!)

Double Dip Time - Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut

Well, well, the day has come. I knew when I purchased the Director's Cut DVD of my favorite film of 2009--Watchmen--that I would most likely be double dipping when they eventually released an even longer version jam-packed with even more supplemental goodies. And sure enough, that day has arrived:


I hate doing it, but I just had to double dip this time. I mean, come on! Just look at it. How could I resist? To make it a more justifiable purchase, I decided to splurge on the Blu-ray version this time. In that sense it will be like watching the movie new, this time on my HD-TV.

This four-disc box set includes both the original Theatrical Release (in standard format) as well as the Director's Cut (blu-ray), with what seems to be an additional 40 minutes tacked on to the latter. The reason? This time, in addition to a few minor extensions, we're finally getting the graphic novel within a graphic novel--Tales of the Black Freighter--which will be woven into the story line the way it was always intended.

The metacomic "Tales of the Black Freighter" was released as a standalone DVD a few months back, gorgeously drawn and narrated by Gerard Butler. But I've never seen the product, so it's going to be nice to have it included within the actual movie for the sake of purists like myself.

The other 3 discs include the aforementioned bonus features, a copy of the "motion" comic--which is basically a moving version of still frames taken from the original graphic novel and set to a narrator and basic sound effects/music--and the now ubiquitous digital copy of the film. You'll also be able to connect to Facebook through BD-Live, though I don't see much use for that particular function. Maybe I'll change my mind.


*Note:* The standard DVD version of this same box set includes 5 discs instead of 4, only because they could not fit the entirety of the motion comic on 1 DVD-ROM disc the way they can with the more spacious BD-ROM disc. Yeah, it's that HUGE. Run time for the motion comic is a whopping 5 and a half hours (325 mins) long! Holy Christ, folks! Again, like "Tales of the Black Freighter," the motion comic has been previously released on DVD. It's just nice for me to have it in one place with this box set since I never did get around to purchasing the standalone version.

If you're a huge fan of Watchmen (the movie or the comics, or both) you owe it to yourself to have this in your collection. Especially if, unlike me, you were more patient and refrained from purchasing the Director's Cut a few months back. If I had known that an even bigger release was destined to hit shelves so soon, I would have waited, too. Oopsie on my part!

Glad I'm Not The Only One

If you were around last week, you may remember I pretty much bitch-slapped this weekend's upcoming movie release, 2012, and ripped it a new one in the process. If not, click here for a refresher.

Well I'm glad to see that most intelligent people seem to be agreeing with me, as review after review has been lambasting this terrible dreck left and right. Even Tara Perry--aka, the Movie Maven--has expressed her disgust on what is sure to be a box office success amongst the dead-heads, waste-of-space teen male demographics this film is really aimed at. Check out the latest webisode of "The Movie Maven" below, in which Tara gushes over the DVD release of this year's Star Trek hit, before giving her not-so-candid opinion of Roland Emmerich's latest stinker. Her reaction says it all:



LOL! That's right, Tara! Don't even dignify this piece of crap with a mention. I wish there was some way I could organize a boycott of this movie, but kids need their mindless entertainment, they do.

*sigh*

Yet Another Remake . . .

Since so many of my cherished childhood movies are being remade or re-imagined, why not add another to the list, eh? This time, it's Clash of the Titans. And it looks like they got none other than rising badass Aussie star, Sam Worthington, to play the main role of Perseus, portrayed in the original by Harry Hamlin.

I've actually known about this for some time. And while I can definitely see the success of the film 300 playing a bigger role in the decision to greenlight this, I can't say I'm too disappointed by the prospect. Which is a shocker. I usually HATE remakes. But if done right, Clash can benefit from a more modern retrofit, I think.

Anyway, here's a teaser for the movie, which will hit theaters next March. I'm not a big fan of the music choice for the trailer. Sucks pretty bad, but hopefully it won't be an indication of the film itself:



I hope this spurs a kickass DVD release of the original, though. I've been dying to purchase it for my home collection, but am disappointed by the barebones version out in stores. It's time they release a better disc of the original classic, and now's as good a time as any.

I Hope This Movie Bombs Horrifically!

I can't believe the amount of hatred I can have for one movie based solely on the trailers, but Roland Emmerich's latest shitfest really takes the cake! I mean, disregarding the whole stupid bullshit behind the so-called "year 2012" Mayan calendar prediction (which, btw, real living Mayan descendants today know nothing about), this is a bad movie just on principle.

The Australian division of Ign.com has just released an early review of the film, and I'm happy to see I'm not the only one that agrees it's one of the silliest movies this side of The Day After Tomorrow. Which, not coincidentally, is also a Roland Emmerich shitfest. See the pattern, anyone? If you want to read the review, click here.

Honestly, I'm not surprised. Everything the reviewer complains about is exactly what I took from just watching the trailer. The first time I saw this in the theaters, my mouth literally hung open in shock. I could not believe the sheer amount of DUMB being hurled my way. It was so embarrassing that other people in the theater were shaking their heads and chuckling. It's like watching the payoff moment at the end of Speed . . . playing over and over and over again. Is this all that the movie is going to be? Because it sure looks like it.

Check out the trailer below. I'm linking to it because I just don't want to waste good bandwidth embedding this piece of shit. But don't take my word for it. If you can stomach the sheer stupid, click and ye shall be enlightened:

2012 Movie Trailer

The film has an estimated budget somewhere north of the $200 mil mark. GAH! I want this thing to bomb so badly that Hollywood will never ever think of letting Roland Emmerich near another film set ever again. I mean, yeah he brought us Stargate and Independence Day--both on my top 20 list of favorite movies of all time--but everything else has been downhill since then.

This movie needs to die, and die horribly. 'Nuff said.