Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dream Come True -- I'm An Actor Born!!!



Well ladies and gentlemen, I can finally reveal the good news I've been sitting on for all these months. Now that Season 4 of Game of Thrones has already premiered to select audiences, I've been given the go-ahead by the producers of the show to let everyone know some exciting news regarding yours truly.

Yes, you're hearing it here first . . . I'M MAKING A GUEST APPEARANCE THIS SEASON!!!

I know, right? It's fucking unbelievable--and I've known about it for almost 7 months now. I still can't believe it's real!

It all started with a phone call back in June ...

Well, actually, an e-mail. But it was from an HBO rep wishing to float me a proposal. It seems that with all my work promoting this show and writing about it right here on The Bimillennial Man, I garnered some high placed admirers over at the Home Box Office's home, er ... offices here in New York. I was told that there would be an opportunity to fly overseas and film a brief role in the upcoming 4th season, if I was interested.

Uh, excuse me? Would I be interested???? I was already out the door with bags packed before even hitting reply on my Outlook. I kid, I kid. Actually, it took a couple of phone calls back and forth, some meetings in person, and the signing of a shit ton of legal papers and disclaimers, but I had myself a booked flight sometime in early September when all was said and done.

HOLY SHIT!!!

Yes, as you might be able to tell, I still haven't come down from this adrenaline high. How the hell does something like this even happen? But, forget about that. I'm guessing you want some details, right? Well here they are:

The part was to appear as a walk-in during the Daenerys Targaryen portion of the show. I would be playing a slave hired as an assassin to get in close to the Mother of Dragons after she's already arrived at the fabled city of Mereen. The scene called for me to dress in rags and filth, and to creep into the Khaleesi's bed chambers while she slept. Something happens, of course, but I'm not at liberty to say because, well -- spoilers!! But I'll have you know -- no, not that I got to see Emilia Clarke naked in bed or anything. There's only but so much luck a Bronx boy like me can have, after all. But I'll have you know, she is so much more gracious and beautiful in person than you could ever have known from watching the show or interviews.


I *heart* you, Mother of my
bab ... I mean, dragons!


And that's all I'll say about that. I would like to keep the door open for future work on HBO shows, after all. Haha!

But, yes, I finally get to spill the beans on what has been such a terribly difficult secret to keep all these months. Especially from my closest friends and family, whom I could not even tell or risk being sent to the dungeons under the Red Keep, or to the Wall. The only clue some of you might have had was my absence from this blog and from Facebook back in September of last year. I dropped off the face of the Internets for a while there directly after returning from my brief trip to D.C. As luck would have it, I had an even bigger trip to make across the ocean to the fair country of Croatia, where Daenerys' scenes were being shot for season 4. I spent a total of 10 days, round trip, getting flown in and prepped, spending an awesome but exhausting two days rehearsing and shooting my breakout scene, meeting some of the lovely cast and crew, doing some sightseeing, and then spiriting my way back to New York.

It was AWESOME!!! A chance of a lifetime, and a dream come true. Look for my scene to appear in Episode 5, titled "First of His Name". It will air on Sunday, May 4th.


The scene I appear in takes place shortly after
this, when Daenerys retires for the night


I think I'm officially bit by the acting bug. Oh yeah! Hollywood, watch out! There's a new Batista in town!

On a side note, I spent a lot of time in the past month appearing in secret at the various premieres and events leading up to Season 4. Especially here in NYC. I also had to come in to HBO studios in Brooklyn quite a few times for some ADR work on my lines in the scene, which is longer than just a brief second of screen time. Weird having to synch up my voice to a screen playback of myself and to say the same lines again, and in just the right inflection, as I said them 6 months back. But again, can we just say: FUN? Oh yes, that would be what I had. And tons of it!

So, there you have it. I can't believe I finally get to share this with you all. I'm giddier than a schoolgirl in a candy shop! Or something like that. Pardon my lack of wit today, I must sound like a babbling fool, I'm sure.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to check the mail to see if any scripts have come in.



EDIT 4/2/2014:  Yes, as many of the more suspicious of my readers were able to point out, this is in fact an April Fool's Day post. I even left a slight clue in the second to last paragraph (hint: the curiously italicized word) to alert to this fact. The fact that some of you fell for it means that you are very good friends and only want the best for me. And I love you all for that! This one was so much fun to write, though, that now I genuinely wish it were true. I chose the subject of acting because, to be frank, I have no interest in it. So it seemed a harmless prank to play. I would have felt more like a heel if I had written about getting a novel contract or some prestigious writing-related accolade or similar news. Because, you see, that actually is a dream of mine and it would seem cruel to joke about it. I'm not saying I wouldn't kill at the chance to appear on an episode of Game of Thrones--I probably would, euphemistically speaking of course--but that the chances of that happening are so very low as to be absurd. So it felt like a good subject to base my prank around. I believe a good AFD prank should be borderline absurd with a touch of ridiculousness, edged with just a slight enough crust of verisimilitude as to make the reader scratch his or her chin and go ... hmmmm. Which I think I pulled off. So in that sense it was a success! Still, I feel bad. I'm not cut out for this pranking business.

7 comments:

Botanist said...

Well, that is AMAZING news, David. I'd say you are one lucky dude, but it sounds like it's less down to luck and more down to the hard work you've put into broadcasting your passion for the show. Well done sir!

Yvonne said...

Are you for real or is this an April Fools joke???

Angela F. said...

So AWESOME!!i cant wait to watch n try figure out which one is you!!:)) thanks so much for sharing!! I really enjoyed that! :))

David Batista said...

Okay, now I feel so bad. And lame. Sorry all, this was an elaborately worded and carefully constructed April Fool's Day prank. Yes, I never do these things. And in fact, had no intention of doing one now. But the idea for this suddenly struck me on a whim during my lunch break and I just had to write it up as a return of sorts to this blog after my month-long absence.

Yvonne suspected, but the fact that some of you did not is not a strike against you, but rather a testament to your trust and genuine care for me. Thank you for being such great friends!

Gah! Now I remember why I hate pranks. Your excitement for me was very touching, though, for what it's worth. Many of you contacted me through private channels to confirm first before commenting. It was all in good fun.

Thanks for participating in my first ever AFD joke here on The Bimillennial Man. Will it be the last? Probably. We'll just have to see . . .

Botanist said...

Well, I feel suitably foolish, and more than a little sad because I was sincerely happy for you after such a shitty year :(

Great prank, David. Shame my bullshit-o-meter was acting up yesterday.

Yvonne said...

You goober! hahaha

EconomicDisconnect said...

What a let down.....

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