Friday, August 30, 2013

Die, Summer, DIE!!!

Oh yes! We're finally here. Labor Day weekend. I never thought I'd see you.

If you don't know by now, I hate Summer. It just really annoys me. I don't have anything against sunshine and doing outdoorsy things. It's just that, to me, summer time in a big city blows. If I lived out in the countryside, fine. That would be different. But summers in New York City is when you see the worst of humanity.

First off, EVERY BODY is outside. No one stays home. Even if they don't have anywhere to go, people will just lounge about in the parks and other outdoor areas just taking up space and getting in my way. Now you might think this is normal for the summer, but when your city has 10 million people and is not sprawled out like Houston, it can get pretty damn cramped. Not to mention, sweltering! The city's already hotter than its surrounding suburbs due to so much concrete absorbing the heat of the sun. But, now add in all those people who are not locked away in school or at home where they ought to be, and you can start to see the problem here. All those bodies create even more heat!

Secondly, everybody has an attitude. If you think New Yorkers are always worked up about something, you should see them during the hotter months. No one gets along here, and someone's always looking to start a fight. This is especially true wherever large groups of people are forced into cramped spaces for any prolonged period of time (like down in the subway).

Third, apparently there's no dress code. This mostly applies to the ladies, who seem to feel that anytime the thermometer rises above 80 around here it's an invitation to get as nude as possible without actually being, you know, nude. You would think that as a guy I should love this time of the year. After all, New York City is home to literally thousands of gorgeous, sexy women. And straight, single young men like me are very scarce! But I'm sorry, leaving my current bachelor status aside--that doesn't mean I enjoy seeing proper decorum and taste thrown aside. Some younger women use the summer time as an excuse to don the most ridiculous clothing their own mamas would be embarrassed to see them wearing. And, I'm sorry, but if anything some of these ladies need to cover up more, if you know what I mean.

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Lastly, I spend far too much money during the summer. I try not to, but it always happens. Friends visit more often. I inevitably go out more, too ... eat more ... drink more. Go to the movies more. Spend way more on my electric bill. More, more, MORE! Before I know it, my bank account is crying NO MAS, POR FAVOR! I don't know why my bank account speaks Spanish, by the way. It just does. Always has. But you get the point. And because of the recent move and other major life changes, this summer more than any other has been particularly stressing my financial reserves. It's come to the point that I seriously need a break from all the excitement and hustle and bustle of the city.

So here we come, alas. As if to my rescue.

Labor Day.

Oh, how I've longed for this weekend! Over these next few days, everyone has their one last hurrah to get all the summer they can out of their systems. For next week the beaches are closed, the backyard cookout invitations are fewer, the kids head back to school, the vacation days are exhausted, and the city finally starts to slow down in preparation for the cooler months to come. Fantastic!

And, yes, I know the official end of Summer is around three weeks later, but here in the city there is a drastic change in attitude once Labor Day passes through. People head back to work the day after looking sullen, their shoulders drawn and stooped. No longer wearing garish white pants, or blinding neon blouses. With faces drooping as if someone's shot their puppy! The weather's still the same, but not so many of these folks will be wearing shorts or those dreaded flip-flops I so hate anymore. They'll know it's all effectively over now.

And that, as much as it makes me sound like an evil little imp delighting in the misery of others ... that warms me deep down in the cockles of my heart, it does. Heh, heh, heh.

So -- HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND, everyone!!! Enjoy it while it's still hot! I'm already starting to eye my cold weather clothing in anticipation.


Yvonne said...

You silly, silly, man! You crack me up! While I like the summer months, I too, am so glad it's coming to a close. I've not had such a great one and I'm just ready for it to be over. I can't wait for October, that's normally when the nicer, no humidity kind of weather comes to visit. Plus it's my birthday month. Yes, MONTH. I celebrate all month. Meh. Don't judge me. Anyway, thanks for the shout out to H-town! haha!

This Labor Day weekend I'm planning on doing a whole lot of nothing. With the exception of a family birthday gathering tomorrow, my plans are to read, write and avoid the heat. So far, I'm doing a great job! ;)

Enjoy your weekend!

David Batista said...

Sounds like a great weekend to me, Yvonne! I'm doing much of the same. :) My birthday is at the end of the week, so it's my birthday month! Well, if I cared enough. But I do remember you claim the entire month of October as yours--haha. Girl, you so crazy! I hope this year it's as good a month as last year's was for you.

Kim Kasch said...

I love the summer, the heat, and the bbqs but I also love the fall, caramel corn, candied apples...what is it with me and food...? But it's true, in the fall I bake more, and love to make more...I really should run more.

You need to come to the Pacific Northwest...everyone is always friendly...when it's warm, we're happy because we don't see the sun very often, when it rains we're happy because we're used to it, when it's stormy, we're happy because it's cozy...we're just happy here ...I guess.

Happy Labor Day!

David Batista said...

Kim -- That's okay, I think of food for the Fall, too. Apple picking; cider; apple cider donuts (my fave!). Plus, pies: apple, blueberry, and pumpkin best of all! :) Not to mention, Fall is when I start to make more stews and such, which I've been missing. Comfort food, you know? Thanks for making me hungry now!

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