Friday, September 27, 2013

Top 10 Things About Me You Don't Need To Know

Just decided to have some fun and do another revealing expose into the type of guy I am. I've done this type of listed revelations thing before on the blog, of course. Most notably herehere and here. But, this one will be a little different. In this one, I will list only those odd quirks of mine that are not necessarily positive or attractive qualities to have. Or which might, at the very least, constitute as surprising even to those folks who know me well.

Sounds like loads of fun, eh?

And also, if anyone would like to try this out on their very own blog--by all means, DO! Then, link me to it.


The Top 10 Things About Me You Don't Need To Know.

1) --- I use up a ton of napkins when I eat. I honestly don't know why. I'm not necessarily a messy eater. I mean, I'm pretty good about not spilling food on myself. But for some reason, stuff gets all over my face and hands when I eat. A lot of stuff! And in the process, I end up using up far too many napkins for any one civilized human being. Oh, the poor trees!


2) --- I only shower in the morning, never at night. It never made sense to me to do otherwise. Sure I could save myself a lot of time in the mornings by showering before I go to bed. But morning showers not only keep you smelling cleaner throughout the day, but they also do an outstanding job of waking me up. Since I don't drink coffee or any other caffeinated drinks, this last point is hugely important!


3) --- I don't know how to whistle. Always wanted to learn. Have gotten marginally closer to almost getting it over the years, but nope! It still eludes me. So frustrating! I think I'm not physiologically capable. My mouth just isn't shaped for it.


4) --- I hate playing sports. Which is actually odd, since I'm pretty good at them. Or was when I was a kid. There's no sport out there I couldn't become reasonably good at in short order. I've always had great hand-eye coordination, was faster than anyone else at school, and was usually one of the strongest boys in any group. But playing sports has always been, well, so booooring to me. I just never understood the point of them. Athleticism doesn't impress me. Now, if it was something like The Hunger Games, where you have to outplay others just to live -- then I would be the sportiest mofo out there!


5) --- I'm very bad at taking financial risks. Meaning; I'm too straight-laced for that sort of thing. I don't play the stock market, and never put money in when friends tell me something is a "sure thing." Sure things to me almost always involve the risk of going to prison. And if I have one goal in life above all other things, it's to make sure I never end up in prison! I'm ultra conservative with my money. It doesn't go anywhere without my constant supervision. In the long run it means I'll never be rich. But, you know? I'm okay with that.


6) --- I'm the neatest person in the world, yet I don't care if you wear shoes in my house. I never quite understood the hangup on that, in fact. Almost everyone I know in real life has a household rule about leaving footwear at the door when someone visits? Why? Are you not mopping your floors on a regular basis? Because, I do. And as such, I could care less what you truck in from outside. It's going to be cleaned up in a week or two, anyway. Probably sooner. Also, I hate the sight of bare feet. Hmm, maybe that's it.


7) --- It's impossible for me to drink alone. Sure, I can have a glass of wine as I eat dinner and watch tv. But that's where it starts and end for me. You'll never catch me drinking the hard stuff alone. Scotch? Bourbon? Vodka? Nope! I'm strictly a social drinker of these things. Especially beer. I never drink beer at my home unless I have company over and they're into that sort of thing. Then I'll drink it down with the best of them. I guess I don't possess the gene by which beer and spirits tastes good to me. Simply put, liquor does not make me happy. But being around people I like does. And if those people are drinking, then I will, too, just to blend in. Simple.


8) --- I hate people who are proud about things that amount to birthright. Irish Americans are proud to be Irish for what? Because you were born Irish? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? You didn't choose that. You didn't gain that. You didn't make it happen. It was something you had no decision over. I hate this because to me it leads to the dangerous inverse. What if someone was born a different race and/or culture than you? Then what? Would you be less proud if you were Chinese? Or Cuban? Is what you were born into really a marker of anything significant? I place more value in accomplishments I myself have made in my lifetime. I'll never extol the virtues of the culture or nationality I was born into. That brand of narcissism has no truck with me. I'd rather be proud of the things that make all human beings similar, rather than what sets us apart. Sometimes I think the entire world is doing life wrong!


9) --- One of my naughtiest secrets is that I get turned on more by what might be there, rather than what actually is. A woman wearing a slight, barely there shift is far sexier than some girl standing before me in the full nude. It's why hardcore porn doesn't turn me on, and why I actually never watch it. It drives me mad with desire when I have to guess what might be under the sheets, rather than if you just laid it all out there for me. I guess, at heart, I'm really keen on using my imagination. If you don't let me guess, then there is no fun. I prefer the chase, the scintillation of foreplay, rather than having it all handed to me straight away. In this manner, I suspect, I'm very much not your typical red-blooded male American.


10) --- I'm not as noble as people think I am. I'm very sneaky! I will break rules--lie, cheat, steal whatever--to get ahead in life. Especially when said life is on the line. I also believe in dealing blows from the shadows, before you know what hits you. I'd rather strike and never be found out, rather than to take credit for a successful win, be it at the office or in my personal life. I care not for glory or honor, although that is not to say I don't have my own private morals and ethic. I do. It's just that, if it comes down to you or me ... you will always go down first. And in silence; none the wiser. In the end, I refuse to be the good guy who finishes last.


And there you have it. Some of these things might be very surprising to a lot of you; some of them humorous; and maybe some of them downright YUCKO! But, hey, they're all true. More or less.

As always, leave your comments below. And perhaps one fact about yourself that you might not want other people to know about, eh? Come on, what's the harm? We're all friends here. Have a little fun!

6 comments:

Kim Kasch said...

1. Is funny because in Denmark at restaurants they don't even give you one...unless you ask.

2. I shower often more than once a day :( wasteful I know.

3. Whistle that's easy, now snapping your fingers...I snap with my pinky and thumb--only way I can.

4. Don't like sports...what, you're a gamer - how can you not like sports...does not compute...does not compute...

Botanist said...

#2 - morning showers on work days, but when I'm off work it switches to evenings. Not sure how that started, but now it's a habit that tells me I'm on holiday.

#6 - I think the taking-off of shoes is a N. American thing. It's something we've got used to since moving to Canada, but had never heard of before. In England you'd only bother if your shoes were too dirty to clean off on the doormat, otherwise you'd walk on in. We used to be in and out of our own house in outdoor shoes until we knew we weren't going out again.

Yvonne said...

Haha, great way to get to know you a little better. I can't whistle either, I try, but nothing happens. Also? I'm right there with you with the morning showers, athough, I also take one at night. I know, I know, weird. lol

Ashe Hunt said...

4 is funny because you like watching them so much. I hate watching them but I actually like playing them.

I'm so the opposite of 7! I'd prefer to drink with others but have no problem indulging whilst alone.

I completely understand 9. I don't mind the in your face stuff sometimes but when it comes to personal life, I like to discover. That why I absolutely love long flowy, slighlty clingy dresses on a women. My mind goes places...;-)

10 is one of the reasons we get along so well. :-)

Antares Cryptos said...

I am with you on 5 out of 10 of these.
Thought you should know.

David Batista said...

Haha -- thanks, all, for telling me which ones of these revelations you identify more with. Except you, Ant; "crypt"ic as ever, I see. :)

I feel I should clarify No. 10, though. It's been brought to my attention that this is not true of me at all. But I should explain that I was only being half serious here. This doesn't really describe me in my personal life, no. I was thinking more in a hypothetical scenario--like in a post-apocalyptic, Mad Max kinda way. Or, more plausibly, if I was on a reality show like Survivor. LOL!

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