Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Hate The F'ing Ghetto!

I live in a middle to upper-middle class apartment building in the South Bronx. It's a pretty cool place to live. The apartments are HUGE and well-maintained, we have a laundry room in the basement, and 24-hour doorman service in the lobby. They even hold packages for us since everyone in my building works for a living (imagine that).

Anyway, once you leave the vicinity of my block, things go drastically down hill--both literally and socio-economically. The building where I spent all of my childhood after my mother died is just across the street and through the park from where I live now. And yet it might as well be a 3rd-world country.

So I was stopping by to check in on my grandma's place this morning . . . and I guess the economy must be really bad, because it looks like Christmas came early for one industrious criminal asshole in her building. I came into the lobby to find the mailbox room in complete shambles. Around 70% of all the tenant's boxes had been pried open with a crowbar and their contents stolen.

Holy @$%^!!! WTF is wrong with people?

Luckily my grandmother's mailbox is on the lower end, tucked away from line of sight. So it escaped being pilfered. Phew! But all the mailboxes above and to the right were tore up pretty bad. And these are metal boxes, folks. Not the flimsy plastic or wooden ones. You'd have to be pretty damn desperate and persistent to do this level of damage to not just one but roughly 30 boxes in all!

This is a very serious crime. There's no telling what was in those boxes. The thief or thieves left behind the junk mail, but I'm sure somebody's social security checks or credit card statements were in there. Certainly the potential for identity theft. Not to mention that tampering with the mail is a Federal offense. I mean, you can tell this person was a buffoon. There's one thing you don't mess with in this country, and that's the mail. The Feds don't play that shit, and if they're getting involved, I'm pretty sure the people who did this are about to get an unfriendly visit from Uncle Sam through the form of a size 12, black-polish government issued boot to the ass!

I only wish I could be there to see it happen. LOL, please don't tell me these fools actually live in my grandma's building. There's a camera in the lobby, so lets hope it's working. I doubt it, but I think the Feds will have other means of catching who did this. All it takes is one attempt to cash a check that's not yours -- and BAM! Whoever it is is looking at a LONG time in a Fed penitentiary.

Way to fail at life, ghetto assholes.


  1. Do you think they'll catch the jerk who did this?! Thank G-d your grandma's was untouched! It's scary times!

  2. I hope so. And since I'm certain the Feds are going to get called in on this (it is mail tampering, after all), I'm sure they'll find the perpetrators.

  3. Aside form the identity theft aspect of this crime, social security checks and credit statements, I think what these morons were really going after were holiday cards. People still send money and, nowadays, gift cards, which are pretty much just as untraceable as cash, through the mail. Holidays are here and all these fuckers see is cash. It'd be nice if these idiots tried to cash a check but I doubt it. I do hope they get caught and get put under the jail.


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