Friday, November 28, 2008

Double Movie Review: Four Christmases & Transporter 3

Saw two movies today with Lisa. And unfortunately, I chose poorly. This is 0/2, folks! I rarely pick 'em this badly. We avoided checking out Australia due to the 2hr 45min running time. But I think we would have fared better if we'd stuck to just this one movie, rather than the two turkeys we did end up seeing. Hey, at least it was season-appropriate (har, har).

Due to this reason, I don't have the energy (read: enthusiasm) to give a full, in-depth review of either. So here are two mini-reviews instead.

FOUR CHRISTMASES


This was one of the unfunniest comedies I've seen in a long while, which is a shock considering the otherwise high opinions I have for both Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. Their chemistry was fine, just the scripting of this stinker was way off. The humor (when it was there) was flat, and the "serious" moments were a little too heavy-handed at times, especially since the comedy was not where it should have been to balance everything out. The editing was also very strange, especially at the end when we suddenly and without warning jump a whole year ahead just to deliver an insignificant closure to the dilemma the two leads were facing as a couple. The resolution, as a result, felt rushed and with no emotional investment from the audience. Skip this one at all costs.

Rating: 3/10


TRANSPORTER 3


To be honest, I didn't really want to watch this movie. The first one had been a decent, if anemic, little action flick. And I really do like Jason Statham in most other things (Crank notwithstanding). But the second movie in this arc was just awful and boring to boot. So I should have known better than to go into this one blindly without first reading any professional reviews.

Ugh, if anything this one is even worse than the second one! A feat I didn't previously think was possible. Statham was good in the action parts, and decent in every other scene. But for all the guys who were in attendance at my theater, this seemed to be geared more towards the ladies, as Jason almost literally took his shirt off every 15 minutes. Do they know who their target audience is for these things? The action was okay, but the story was a very dumb plot at its finest. A thug threatens an environmentally-conscious politician to sign off on a dubious company handling toxic materials in his country's backyard, in exchange for the well-being of his daughter. The Transporter's job is to drive the daughter around long enough until the deal is made. But things don't go according to plan, and stuff blows up. The end. I can't even recommend the driving scenes, as they were boring as well. Stay far the hell away from this one. I really wish I had.

Rating: 4/10

3 comments:

cindy said...

we could have gone to see a film and it was between these two. i wasn't enthused about either and read about the only empress of china instead (empress wu). i'm glad i did!!

David Batista said...

I read about Empress Wu once. I think she rose to power during the Tang dynasty, or Zhou. Or maybe she started the Zhou during the Tang dynasty. Yeah, something like that. :)

Yes, I would have preferred spending the time reading about her, too. Hope she's giving you some inspiration for your next book. Or is this reading for the *gasp* third book already?

cindy said...

david, i guess it'd be emperor wu? yes, in the tang dynasty. there were all sorts of crazy chinese sex stuff in it. haha! who knew? =) it's for this current novel--just to set the mood.

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