Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Really Am Stubborn

In reading my previous entry on how/why I learned Chinese, Cindy commented on my stubbornness. And you know what? She's absolutely right!

She would say it's a Virgo thing I'm sure, and that's probably true. Thing is, I'm not stubborn when it comes to personal relationships or anything like that. Where my stubbornness rears its ugly head is when it comes to my ambitions and dreams.

I just don't give up! I take the most extreme sorts of abuse and keep on going in order to obtain any goal I've set for myself. It's always been that way for me, but more so in my adult years.

Learning Chinese was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Hell, it IS the most difficult thing I've ever done. But it was something I *wanted* to do. I wasn't told I had to do it, or that my life would be better because of it. No, for the first time it was something I did outside of my family's influence and something I'd made my own. And no amount of hardship was going to deter me.

And for the most part, this stubbornness has served me well. Does it mean I always get what I want?

Oh, hell no!

Sometimes it feels like my whole life is nothing but me not getting what I want. However, if the thing is something that is within my power to get, then nothing can stop me.

I'm this way with my writing. I've been critiqued to hell and back again and, from all indications, I haven't even seen the worst of it yet. It's going to get very, very bad before it gets better. Another person might give up on their dream of ever becoming a published sci-fi writer.

But not me.

I simply don't care how many rejections I get. I have ideas, and they need to be written. Whether I can learn how to spin those ideas into gold is what my journey is all about. A hectic day at work or an argument at home are only obstacles to work around, not to defeat me.

I want this bad, and I've decided that I'm going all the way until I either run out of steam or I die. The latter will hopefully mean I made it to the point where my name is in a bookstore, and hopefully multiple times over. The former will mean that despite my best efforts, something defeated me. Which would not be good. Not good at all.

I'm stubborn where it counts. Because I know of no other way to get that which I want in life.

This has been a Public Service Announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

2 comments:

cindy said...

you've got the perfect attitude to become a published author. i'll be happy to say i knew him when...

Ashe Hunt said...

Looking forward to it my friend!

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