The iPhone 5: Why I'm Not Underwhelmed

Well, my birthday came and went without much fanfare as usual. For those into details, it was a week and a half ago on Sep. 7th, and I turned 36. And while I didn't do anything on that day except complete one more revolution around the Sun, I did bake brownies in celebration. So that's something!

Anyway, seeing as how it is my birthday, and also seeing how I've had my current iPhone 4 for over two years now, I thought it was nice of Apple to schedule a major unveiling of their latest iteration of this popular product line around the same time. As a mild technophile I always suspected I would be getting the next iPhone anyway. Not just because I was due for an upgrade, but because I really do enjoy the form factor and GUI of Apple phones. So it was a no-brainer that the iPhone 5 would be this year's birthday present to myself. All I needed to see was a reasonable improvement over my current phone. That's it.

And that's not only what I got, but a bit more.

The iPhone 5 (left) vs. the iPhone 4 (right). Fight, fight, fight!

Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days . . .

Well folks, it's that time of year again. When the sun sets that much earlier than it did back in June, and the temps are not quite as baking hot and unforgiving as mid-July. Yes, I'm talking about the close of my most hated season of them all--Summer! Haha, it's finally here!

Now, officially Summer doesn't end until September 22 this year--incidentally, my wife's birthday. But here in the States the unofficial end to summer is Labor Day, which is coming up this Monday, Sept. 3rd. And how do I plan to celebrate the close of the season? Well, with a small cookout of burgers and dogs at home. We don't have a back yard or anything, but we do have a George Foreman grill and a lot of imagination. And, hey, that does count for something, you know?

Actually, my animosity toward the season hasn't always been the case. It only really started once I graduated college. Before then, summers were great! Summertime was the bestest time, because it was the time of no school. Hooray! Remember that feeling? I don't care how good of a student you were, the minute that final bell of the school year rang, you WERE excited! Don't try to deny it. Summer was a time of idyllic days playing with your friends, and eating lots and lots of ice cream. Your family went on exciting trips, and you might have even visited a big amusement park or two along the way.

To be honest, I miss that. I miss it a lot. I was just walking through the little park across the street from the house I grew up in the other day, reminiscing of how I used to play baseball there with my brother and our friends during middle school summers. Even in the South Bronx, as dangerous a town as it was to grow up in, we still had a place to run around and be kids. For the most part the adults ignored us and the other kids in the neighborhood were either locked up or too busy getting in trouble elsewhere. So that park was OUR little spot. We owned it, insomuch as a bunch of 12- and 13-year old know-nothings could own anything, let alone a piece of public property. But what did we care about such things? We would meet there by the big ole Elm tree which served as home plate and backstop. My brother and I owned the bats and gloves, another friend the balls. Someone would inevitably bring a brown paper bag or an old baseball cap to serve as third base, while a natural flagstone served as first (a half-buried rusted pipe delineated our second). The pitcher's "mound" was a worn patch of earth where nothing natural grew, and we had to imagine the baselines in our heads. Yet to us kids this might as well have been our private Yankee Stadium! We would play from dawn to dusk--and I mean that literally! Sometimes, even, we would play when the sun was almost down and we could barely see the ball leave the pitcher's hand. We never let such small things as "facts" and "physics" worry us, though. We certainly never stopped for rain or thunder or 100+ degree heatwaves, neither.

Summers were like this, except: less butterflies, more tetanus shots.

I swear, many an epic battle was waged on that makeshift baseball field those summers! We would arrive home dirty and exhausted, ravenous like West Virginian coal miners after a long day of back-breaking labor. It made us robust, hearty--strong in that way of young men just growing into the semblance of their adult bodies. We were champions!

In-between baseball matches we would also go swimming at the nearby public pool, watch movies at the newly opened cineplex a few blocks further away, and play lots and lots of video games. Those were the best days to be so young and carefree!

Yes, walking through that park the other day reminded me of all this. I remembered what it was like to once love the season I so despise now. Nowadays, summers mean unbearable heat and long, unforgiving days at the office. It means daily runs that are that much more taxing on my body than they are in the winter, or meals that are made more quickly and with less effort than I would otherwise be willing to expend in a cooler kitchen. Summers are devoid of any exciting holidays, too. The months are long and monotonous, broken up only by the brief excitement of a quick vacation if we can afford it. Otherwise, it's three months of nothingness. Ninety-odd days of life-sapping commutes in foul, sweat-smelling subway cars back and forth to offices filled with people who are likewise missing those carefree summer days of childhood.

Is it no wonder I hate Summer so much? Good riddance, I say! I welcome Labor Day and the restart of the school season with open arms. My younger self would not recognize this new me, of course; this older me. But this older me loves the coming of Autumn and its cool, crisp days ahead. Days of apple picking and baked fruit pies. Of rustling multi-hued leaves and Halloween. Ahhhhh! I can smell the roasting pumpkin seeds already! Can you?

Here's to you, Summer time. May you be on your way and not show yourself 'round these parts for another nine months. I certainly won't miss you.

Sound off below in the comments section if you, too, are happy to be putting away your white pants and shorts for more somber hued clothing this weekend. Or if summer is actually your thing, let us know why you are so sad to see it going bye-bye. I would imagine those of you living in less urban and people-choked locations of the world than here in New York City would mourn the changing of the season more than most. Heck, if I lived in Vermont like I would love to again some day, I'd probably be singing a different tune myself.

Book Review: Freak

Jennifer Hillier is a regular visitor here on The Bimillennial Man -- you may have seen her around a few times. I consider her a very good friend in fact, and have been vicariously following her burgeoning writing career for the past several years. Now, true, I don't review books here on the blog anymore. For one, I simply don't have the time these days. And, two, well . . . see point one. The process is even doubly troublesome when reviewing the published work of a friend, because to be honest I lack the ability to be impartial and objective when it comes to my friends' books--HA!

Needless to say the only reason I'm breaking this rule now is because the book in question is FREAKing awesome! Therefore, I have no need to be impartial here. And, also, I don't have to worry about hurting my friend's feelings. So in other words, you know right off the bat that this book is an amazing read simply by the fact that it's even being reviewed here. I'm so giddily excited for my friend, and so happy that she's getting all the praise and love she deserves from the reader community at large. Alas, consider yourselves properly forewarned of some shameless squee'ing taking place in this blog entry. And if you're okay with that, then continue reading below for the skinny.

Hello, Hello!

Just a quick note to let you know that, yes, I'm very much alive--and that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Heh, heh.

Sorry, couldn't resist paraphrasing Mark Twain there.

We flew out to Las Vegas over the weekend to attend my little brother's wedding. It was originally planned for Houston, which I was actually looking forward to visiting for the first time. But then it got changed at the last minute to that little gem of debauchery in the middle of the Nevada desert. Vegas is a great town, despite the way people seem to always put it down. But at the same time, it's a little alarming how easily folks discard their morals and personal regard while in Sin City. It's true that pretty much anything goes there, and that whatever it is must truly stay there. Because, honestly, no one would ever believe you back home if you told them the things you did or saw there.

I've been away from the blog world for quite some time. Can't really say why. I think the whole blogging idea is wearing itself thin. At least for me. Plus, I have a lot on my plate these days. Nothing worth talking about here, though.

Anyway, this was meant to be quick and I meant it. So, it's good to be back home and I'm looking forward to this hated season coming to a close and my favorite (Fall) starting up again.

On one last note, I would like to say I've been greatly enjoying the Summer Olympics coverage these past couple of weeks. As always, USA represented itself extremely well on this world stage. You know, for how much other countries rib us for being so fat, we sure do win an awful lot of medals at major international sporting events, no? And against much bigger countries with far rigorous training programs to pump out machine-like athletes. Hmmmm . . . gee, I wonder to whom I could possibly be referring. Do you know?

Diversity In The 'Pocalypse

I swear, lately these days I've been beaming non-stop with pride--and I must admit, just a tad bit of jealousy--at the wonderful success a lot of my writer friends have been receiving this year. It seems everywhere I turn now someone I know is being published, re-published, or about to be published. And I couldn't be happier for them!

But what happens when many of those friends end up in the same sci-fi anthology alongside highly admired established authors in the field, I ask you? An explosion of AWESOMENESS, that's what! Awesomeness that all the squee'ing in the world can't adequately exhaust. Trust me, I've tried. It just doesn't work.

But such is the case with Diverse Energies, a new anthology being released by Tu Books later this Fall. This is a collection of short stories taking place in a future dystopia, written by some of the most diverse writers in the industry not just in terms of background, but writing styles as well. And trust me, these are good writers. Really, really good! For a wannabe like myself who just eats this stuff up, the anthology's TOC is a real who's who of hot talent around today. And believe me, it's even better when I can call some of these names friends. Names such as Cindy Pon, Tempest Bradford, and Rajan Khanna to name just a few.

In addition, there's Paolo Bacigalupi and Ursula K. Le Guin also contributing short stories, among others. Mr. Bacigalupi is perhaps my favorite new writer in SF. His novel, The Windup Girl, had me raving like some fried-out street preacher to any who would hear my glowing recommendations of this amazing near-future tale. While Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness is perhaps the most influential, seminal and important piece of fiction I hold near and dear to my heart! Yes sir! It's right up there with A Canticle For Leibowitz and The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress as having the most profound influence on my desire to become a writer.

So, needless to say Diverse Energies is going to be a must-buy for this fan. I swear, short-story collections don't get more full of WIN than this! Oh, and the whole shebang is edited by Tobias Buckell, whom some of you may remember me praising a while back here.

So tell me, what are you waiting for? Pre-order this gem, like, RIGHT NOW!!!

Unless that is, like me, you want to try and snag a free copy of the book before it's even released? Yes, that's right, my good friend Cindy Pon is actually GIVING AWAY a free ARC of the anthology to any who will play by her nefarious rules. And what might those rules entail? Well, hop on over to her wonderful blog for more details by clicking here.

In the meantime, I'm going to get back to writing. Being surrounded by all this insane talent has GOT to rub off, right? I mean, RIIIIGHT???

My Earliest Scaries

Hi. This is me, age 4. So for those counting, circa 1980 or thereabouts. Around this time, I was afraid of a great many things. The dark. Thunder 'n' lightning. Warm milk (yeah, don't ask). I was just thinking about this today, the crazy things that would frighten me as a boy. Some of it, like the warm milk mentioned above, doesn't make much sense to me now as an adult. It's an interesting reflection into the mind of a child, though, don't you think? I mean, it explains how we adults sometimes don't understand why kids wake up screaming in the middle of the night. All sorts of silly things scare them, and sometimes as a parent you can only try your best to understand. I'm not a parent, but I know parents. And, also, I remember my mother's reaction to my own "scaries" growing up. Unlike most people, however, I actually do recall many examples of my fears when I was child. Below are just a handful of the more entertaining ones. They revolved mostly around sound, oddly enough. And while some you'll just have to take my word for, others should be more obvious in their horrifying elements. I'm sure you share a few of these terrors yourself. Or, at least, the little version of you probably did, once upon a when.

Hitman: Absolution Trailer Parody

Sometime early last year I put together this blog entry regarding a crazy dude by the name of Toby Turner (aka, "Tobuscus") who goes around creating these wildly hilarious parodies of popular video game trailers. Back then I linked to the ones for Dead Island and Dead Space 2. This time, Tobuscus has tackled a game I've been highly anticipating for later this year, Hitman: Absolution.

Quick background. I first fell in love with this series back during Hitman 2: Silent Assassin's run on the Playstation 2. The last one in the series I played was Hitman: Blood Money, which was a fine achievement in video gaming I must say.

The main character of Agent 47--the bald-headed, barcode sporting, white-shirt-and-red-tie-wearing assassin extraordinaire--is one of the most iconic badass figures in modern gaming today, and even the feature film starring him wasn't all that bad. But Hitman: Absolution seems to be going to the next level. I mean, awesome does not even adequately encompass all that this game is looking to deliver! Here is one of the more recent trailers, which doesn't show any gameplay but which is a really cool setup to the story that is to come:





Now, as is his wont, Tobuscus went ahead and made his own parody--a literal translation, if you will, of the trailer you just saw. As usual with these I could not stop laughing. This is some good shit right here! Seriously, if you're a gamer or just like to laugh, do yourself a favor and check out both the original trailer above and the parody version below:





Was that not pure genius? I thought so.

And -- yippee! November can't come fast enough!

Whoa, Father's Day!

I completely forgot about Father's Day this weekend. Whoops, silly me! To me it was just another Sunday, and I ended up doing the usual Sunday things I do. Writing, playing video games (Assassin's Creed 2), running 4 miles, and eventually settling down at night to watch tv with the wife. You know, your average restful Sunday.

I've always been ambivalent about Father's Day. On the one hand, I've never had what one would call a "father." My real father was never around, and my stepdad ended up taking our mother from us at an early age. On the other hand, for when it mattered most, I only had the women of my mother's family to raise me. They made me who I am, without any influence from a real male authoritative figure in my life. So I celebrate these women on Mother's Day -- but Father's Day is a complete non-issue in my household. My wife doesn't have any connection with her father, either. Never has. So you can see now why the day is so easily forgotten in our house. It really is!

Yet in the spirit of things I want to dredge up from the early days of this blog a post I'd written once about the only father figures I've ever really known -- and all of them from television! So below, reposted in its full form in honor of Father's Day, is the blog post titled: "My Three Dads." Some of you may remember this one. Okay, maybe only one or two of you. This was almost four years ago, after all. Many of you didn't even know me then! But still . . .

Enjoy!
====================================================

MY THREE DADS. (Originally posted: 9/2/08.)


Okay, I know it sounds silly, but I have a confession to make: I was raised by television.

Of course in actuality I was raised first by my mother, and then by my maternal grandmother and aunt, but television always played an integral role in my childhood. So much so that I have nothing but fond affection for the "boob tube" today. And, you know, there was never that male adult figure in my life to teach me the things that many little boys learn from their fathers: specifically, how to be a man. I was surrounded by women growing up, after all. And while it's true that I learned a great deal from these strong, independent female family members, I had to turn to tv in order to get the paternal influence that was missing from my existence. In essence, I had to learn how to become an honest man, a fighter, a good husband and/or father, and how to treat a woman the way a good man should -- all from the tube!

Now, I'm only being half serious here. Because, of course, I didn't need tv to teach me right from wrong, or honesty from dishonesty. I'm my own keeper. It's been that way ever since my parents left me alone in this world. Still, I consider the following three television characters to have had the most profound influence on shaping my teenage personality, leading to the adult I am now. The essences of these three fictional characters reside within me even to this day, and those who know me really well can easily discern the part and parcel characteristics I've borrowed from these figures to make my own.


JEAN LUC PICARD



Yes, to no surprise, my latching on to tv role models began at the age of 12. I'm sure there are studies out there that correlate a boy's self-identity with the time he enters puberty. So it's no surprise that my subconscious effort to find a father figure who would teach me what I needed to know to be a man would start around this time. I'd just started junior high school, and Star Trek: The Next Generation had premiered the year before. I'd grown up watching the original 60s show with William Shatner as the young, cocksure Captain Kirk. So I naturally took a disliking to this new show and its new Captain, which were nothing like the original. However, over time the show started to grow on me, to the point that it soon surpassed my love of the original. Now after all these years, ST:TNG is the quintessential Star Trek for me. Nothing before or after it tops this show. And this character was one with which I had a strong attachment as a young boy.

Captain Jean Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) was in many ways the thinking man's captain. Picard very much preferred to use his wits and diplomacy to defuse a dangerous situation, rather than his fists. He was a refined gentleman, well-read in various scholarly pursuits (notably music, botany, and archaeology), yet he was stern under pressure and no-nonsense when it came to saving the lives of his crew. He commanded great respect for his ability to keep his emotions in control under tense situations. All these aspects endeared me to the character, and slowly during the course of the show I found myself imitating Picard's demeanor in real life.


KWAI CHANG CAINE



In January 1993, a spin-off to the 70s show, Kung Fu, premiered on what was then called the: "Prime Time Entertainment Network." The show was called Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, once again starring David Carradine as Kwai Chang Caine -- though now the grandson of the original Kwai Chang. I credit this show--and the character of Caine in particular--with awakening the fire in me to learn everything I could about Chinese culture and language, as well as cultivating my interest in gong-fu.

Kwai Chang Caine, like Jean Luc Picard, was refined and wise. He was someone who could obviously carry himself in a fight, but whom--more often than not--sought the peaceful solution to a conflict. This was who I wanted to be like. I was always a quiet and observant child by nature, and by 1993 I had grown into one of those intense, focused teenagers. The type of person who other kids in high school had no idea how to deal with, and would generally leave alone for fear of what he might do in reprisal. But the values that Caine stood for were my values as well, and so it was easy to see why I would latch on to this character as my role model.


DUNCAN MACLEOD



Finally we come to the last of my three dads, Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. This figure appeared in Highlander: The Series as the titular character, portrayed by one Adrian Paul. While premiering before Kung Fu: The Legend Continues in the Fall of 1992, I wasn't introduced to the show until shortly after I had already been addicted to KFtLC for a couple of months. But when my best friend, Tarrell, finally convinced me to check it out, I was hooked from the get-go!

Duncan MacLeod was a 400-year old Immortal, master swordsman, and martial artist. However, I found myself more drawn to the deep pathos that arose from the character's long life than the action-y elements (although those aspects were a nice bonus on the show). How it was that, despite never being able to die, his life was far from a happy one. For in those 400 years Mac, as he was known to his friends, has had to deal with the deaths of countless loved ones, all the while remaining alive and struggling to make it through another year without those he cherished. As someone who had lost his mother at an early age, this pathos resonated deeply with me. I actually *felt* the heart-wrenching pain of this character's loss, and I was never the same again.

Duncan MacLeod, more than any character on any other show, has defined who I am as an adult man dealing with a monstrous past. The strength to face the world and the demons it holds, I drew from this character most of all. Highlander has had the most profound influence on the young man I was becoming and would remain even to this day.


And there you have it! These are the three biggest TV influences to shape my personality in those turbulent teenage years when I struggled to find myself. I'm not any one of these characters, nor am I the sum of these men. I've taken only certain facets from all three--aspects which I suspect I already exhibited naturally on my own. But the influence is there nonetheless.

So, do any of you have tv or film characters who have inspired you in life? If so, please sound off in the comments section below.

True Blood Sundays!

Yes, it's back! There, there . . . no need to cry your tears (of blood!)

This has truly become my favorite time of the year for television. 1) Game of Thrones beginning in April; 2) Regular bullshit tv season coming to an end in May; and 3) True Blood begins in June! HBO is really killing it with their two best series airing back to back like this. And I, for one, am so glad!

Season 5 begins tonight, with the premiere of the first new episode, "Turn! Turn! Turn!" kicking things off. The previews have been looking good for this season, and hopefully it will be a lot better than the previous two. I think it will.

And how am I preparing for the big night? Well, look what just came in the mail last week:

Yes, I'm going to be getting my premiere night on right! I love the specially formulated True Blood beverage from the HBO.com store. You can also buy it in person here in NYC at the cool HBO brick and mortar store located on 6th Avenue (just off 42nd Street). I purchase around two to three 4-packs each year around this time. And this year, I even picked up the True Blood brand glasses like the one in the pic I took above. And even though that's my microwave in the back, I in fact prefer my synthetic blood drink chilled to perfection . . . and not nuked to 98.7 degrees body temp!

In other words, I'll be drinking True Blood out of a True Blood glass while watching True Blood. Makes sense, eh? Or am I just kooky?

Whatever the case may be, enjoy your Sunday night, folks!

You Keep On Completing Me

Last year around this time, I posted this blog entry about a severe increase in visitor stats to The Bimillennial Man. At the time, I had gone from having unique visitors in the 10s and 20s per day, to over 60 and even nearing 100 each cycle.

Many of you had kind words of encouragement then and congratulated me on this progress. And I, in turn, thanked you all for making it possible. And, of course, for taking the time out of your busy schedules to stop by once in a while.

Now, a little over one year later, that sentiment still stands. Thank you all for remaining loyal visitors to this humble blog. And to those of you who only lurk, my heartfelt thanks goes out to you as well. Trust me, I know who you are. I can see your IP addresses!

But I thought I would update you all on the state of things now. Yes, I haven't been able to blog as much this year as I'm accustomed to doing. Some of that was intentional, while most of it was not and was due to circumstances beyond my control. And yet, despite it all, I have to say the numbers have been crazy this year! Looking back, I scoff at thinking I was anything special with a mere 80 unique daily visits. Wow, cool dude. That's awesome!

But now, everything has changed. Things are starting to get serious. At the start of the year I saw the blog's stats double. Whoa! And as the year went on, it just got even more bizarre, increasing more than 400% over last year's numbers. And these past several weeks in particular have seen the site's traffic reaching stratospheric heights! Here's a snapshot of the chart, provided by Blogger's new built-in tracking system:

That's well over 400 hits each day! Now, because this is a new tracker over the one I used last year, I can't rule out that the numbers might be slightly skewed here. I do know that you can get wildly different results from one tracker to another. Alas, my old tracker is a buggy piece of crap and can no longer be relied upon. Also, while I am still not including my own visits to my blog, I can't rule out the fact that a good portion of these numbers are from people who are not truly landing on my page, per se, but instead retrieving my pics through Google Image Search. Let's face it, I put up a lot of pics--particularly in my Game of Thrones reviews which, just like last year, continue to be the prime generator of around 80% of the traffic this blog receives daily. Sheesh! People are going absolutely bananas for this show!

To clarify, I went from receiving 60 to 100 daily visitors last year to now averaging between 380 and 680! Last Sunday alone saw me reach a site high of 730 unique visitors in a 24-hour period. Wow! I'm guessing I have the Thrones' season 2 finale to thank for that! If I expand the chart to cover my yearly numbers since this blog opened back in 2008, you can get a better sense of just how rapid the increase in numbers has been over the past 4 years:

That's what I call progress!

Now, let me make something clear. I am not sitting here thinking that I'm something special. I'm well aware that I have the tv show to thank for most of this. You pick something wildly popular to write about on your blog, and chances are your numbers are going to skyrocket. Also, I'm well aware that quite a few of my regular commentators here have blog numbers that far trump mine. After all, some of you have dedicated followers alone numbering in the hundreds. I only have 30. And it's my fault, too, that. I really need to get out there in the blogosphere and meet more of my fellow bloggers. I know, I know.

And yet, I can still feel a sense of achievement with these numbers. Maybe you only like me for my screencaps, maybe you like me for my non-Thrones content. But whatever the case may be, I appreciate the hell out of you all for visiting me here. Ya'll are the best.

'Nuff said!

Ep. 20 Recap: "Valar Morghulis"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."
Ep. 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal."
Ep. 16: "The Old Gods and the New."
Ep. 17: "A Man Without Honor."
Ep. 18: "The Prince of Winterfell."
Ep. 19: "Blackwater."

Episode 20: "Valar Morghulis"
Original Air Date:  June 3, 2012.
Directed by:  Alan Taylor.
Written by:  David Benioff & D.B. Weiss.

Tonight, as befitting, we close out what ended up being a fantastic Season 2 with the showrunners themselves returning to pen the final episode. And what would a Benioff & Weiss episode be without Alan Taylor directing? Also, after last week's masterpiece, how would the season finale fare by comparison? These questions and more will be answered . . .

. . . Now!

Ep. 19 Recap: "Blackwater"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."
Ep. 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal."
Ep. 16: "The Old Gods and the New."
Ep. 17: "A Man Without Honor."
Ep. 18: "The Prince of Winterfell."


Episode 19: "Blackwater"
Original Air Date:  May 27, 2012.
Directed by:  Neil Marshall.
Written by:  George R. R. Martin.

Tonight we get a real treat, folks. We get an epic film director in Neil Marshall, a super fan of the show who came in at the last minute to save HBO's bacon when the originally planned director bowed out. And lucky for us, too, since he would end up directing what book readers all knew was going to be an amazing battle-TASTIC hour of television! But best of all we get the author of the books himself, George R. R. Martin, adapting his own work in writing the teleplay. George wrote last season's episode 8: "The Pointy End," but could he do the impossible and write an episode to surpass that one?

Two words: HELLS YES!!!

The Jobs I've Had Over The Years

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted a job. You know, to work hard at something and be paid for my troubles. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up and earn my way through life. I thought having a steady paycheck coming in was pretty much the end all of everything, and I wanted to be part of that law-abiding, tax paying citizenry which makes up the backbone of this country.

Unfortunately, I had no connections in my family. Zip. No one who knew anyone looking for a hard worker with no experience. So when I hit 14 years old--the legal age for working (albeit part time) in this country--I had very few options available to me. The only job opportunities for young teenagers with no work experience or family connections are pretty much limited to retail--and cashier positions at that. Unfortunately, everywhere I looked only wanted girls for cashiers. And I was too young to work in the stock room stocking shelves, a job relegated to the older boys who were bigger and could lift more.

Add to this the fact that I lived in one of the most densely populated cities in the world, which means I had to deal with a lot of competition for very few openings in the job market. It was not pretty. Still, through sheer determination and perhaps just a touch of obstinacy, I eventually did find a job and the rest was history.

Or was it?

What I didn't know at the time, but was about to embark on a long journey of self-discovery to find out, is that: sometimes just getting a job is not enough. Because there are jobs, and then there are jobs. And sometimes those jobs become careers. And sometimes you end up hating your career and going through a mid-life crisis. I'm not at the point where I've reached the latter (thankfully), but I have had a hard road of it to reach where I am today.

Movie News Monday

Yes, I'm fully aware that today is not in fact Monday. But seeing as how I just got back from taking a few days off, it feels like a Monday to my mind. And one's state of mind is really what's important, wouldn't you agree?

Since I was out of touch with the interwebs for the most part during this brief hiatus, I was surprised by a couple of new developments in movie land while I was away. One good, one bad . . . and one interesting little tidbit.

I will, of course, start with THE BAD first. And it's an infuriating bad for me:


3-D Can Go Suck A Big One!

Yes, I regret to say that G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the second installment in the live-action series, has become the latest casualty of the idiotic 3-D push by Hollywood execs. Now, let me see if I can get this straight. See, this movie was looking pretty awesome. As some of you may recall, I gushed about it right here on this blog a few months back. Unlike the first film which was an all-around turd, I actually thought this one was shaping up to be the movie us fans had been waiting for. But now we're going to have to wait a very long time to get our Joe fix. A lot longer, in fact.

Originally slated to appear in theaters next month, G.I. Joe: Retaliation has now been pushed all the way back until March of 2013 -- that's NEXT YEAR, folks!

WTF?

And why is this being done? All so that the movie--already filmed and in the can, mind you--can get retrofitted with a new 3-D transfer. That's right. A film that has already finished being made and which was damn near ready to see release in theaters will be shelved for nearly 9 months so that the film execs can slap a 3-D certificate on it and charge a buttload more money on ticket prices.

I got your NO-DEE right heeere!

There's some other mumbo-jumbo the film execs are mouthing to justify this stupidity, but honestly talking about it here is only going to make me angrier. So, if you really want to read all the little details, check out the full story by clicking on the link right here.

This is some BULL SHIT!!!

And now on to the INTERESTING tidbit I mentioned earlier:


There Can Be [Maybe] Only One [Remake]!

Now normally the news of one of my most beloved 80s movies being rebooted would fall firmly under the "FURIOUS HEATED HATRED OF A THOUSANDS SUNS" category here on The Bimillennial Man . . . but honestly I've had a while to deal with this news and the remake of the 1986 cult classic, Highlander, no longer infuriates me like it did over a year ago when I first learned of this. But, what I am intrigued about is the most recent news over who The Powers That Be may cast as their titular hero. None other than Mr. Van Wilder himself--Ryan Reynolds!!!

This news seems to have met with a lot of anguish and hostile resistance from Highlander fans and non-fans alike, but I actually like the idea. Why? Well, because I always felt the franchise could do better with a little more thought and effort--and, hell, MONEY--put into it. Now RR being in the movie doesn't automatically mean we'll get either of these three things, but it's a good start. He's a fairly well-known name and has been in some big time popular movies (Blade III, Wolverine, Green Lantern . . . Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle). And plus, I actually like Ryan Reynolds! He's played some cool roles, and can do both drama and action perfectly fine.

He may be Immortal, but does he have inside him blood of kings?

And if he brings a little bit of comedic timing to some of the scenes, so what? Ain't nothing wrong with a little humor. Even Christopher "heh heh, what kept you!" Lambert infused a little mirth into the original role. So bite me, people! I for one would love for this news to be true. Unfortunately, Mr. Reynolds has only shown a cursory interest in the role. He's a busy dude these days, so it's possible he won't be taking on the kilt and fake brogue of our noble hero after all. But he has read for the role, and for that I'm hopeful. You can click here to read more if you like.

And now for THE GOOD:


The Name's . . . Skyfall.

Finally! As a huge James Bond fan--and an even HUGER Daniel Craig as James Bond fan--I'm so happy that they've decided to release a trailer at long last for the next installment in the franchise, Skyfall. It's slated to hit theaters on November 9th later this year, but get your sneak peek below to tide you over until then:





Oh man, this is just what I need! I'm so thrilled by what I'm seeing so far. I love the two shots fired while crossing laterally across the room in a suit. How freakin BOSS is that? I'm especially excited because Javier Bardem has been cast as the baddie this time around. And also because the director is none other than Sam Mendes, of American Beauty, Jarhead, and Road to Perdition fame. While his mixed pedigree of films might give some cause to worry, I actually have great confidence in this guy's talents. Can't wait to see if I'm proven right! Looking at the trailer alone, I get the feeling that this will be an even darker installment than the last two Daniel Craig-starring Bond flicks were.

And that, as they say, is music to my ears!

Ep. 18 Recap: "The Prince of Winterfell"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."
Ep. 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal."
Ep. 16: "The Old Gods and the New."
Ep. 17: "A Man Without Honor."


Episode 18: "The Prince of Winterfell"
Original Air Date:  May 20, 2012.
Directed by:  Alan Taylor.
Written by:  David Benioff & D.B. Weiss.


RECAP.

Again, I'm dividing up this week's recap not by scene, but by location. And whereas last week I started in Qarth and worked my way north to Jon Snow, this week I will do the opposite and start beyond the Wall working my way south. Since I gave you all free license to sound your disgust for this format in last week's comments section and only one of you did, you have only yourselves to blame if this arrangement doesn't exactly float your boat. Me, I think it makes for shorter recaps, which is a blessing on my fingers.

Now, let us begin . . .

Ep. 17 Recap: "A Man Without Honor"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."
Ep. 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal."
Ep. 16: "The Old Gods and the New."


Episode 17: "A Man Without Honor"
Original Air Date:  May 13, 2012.
Directed by:  David Nutter.
Written by:  David Benioff & D.B. Weiss.


RECAP.

I'm going to do something a little different this week. Instead of a recap covering every single scene as they occur chronologically in the episode, I'm dividing it up by locations on the overworld map instead--taking a general northwesterly sweep starting from the continent of Essos across the Narrow Sea. I'm hoping this will make the recap portion much shorter. Not to mention it should be easier to connect plot developments specific to each location, and facilitate remembering certain key facts without jumping from place to place like a flea with Alzheimer's.

If you don't enjoy this format, please remember to sound off in the comments section at the end. I welcome all feedback. And so, let us now begin . . .

The Path To Becoming A Writer

Found this pic posted up on Facebook this morning by several writer friends of mine, and I just had to share here because of how remarkably apt it is--especially for me. I mean, wow! You wouldn't know it, but I'm amazed that I meet 7 of the 9 prerequisites here, and have come close to or will eventually meet the remaining two requirements.

Holy hell! Of course, I won't be giving away the details of just which 7 I meet. But I can admit that, sadly, all of the negative ones have already happened to me. And that's all I'm going to say on that front.

Still, this comic strip reminds me of something one of my writing instructors once told me; a poignant lesson I've never forgotten. It was after I had taken a huge break of some 8 years from writing after graduating from college. I asked this instructor why, after so many years of almost no writing, did I suddenly have so much to say and write about? And her response was that sometimes we have nothing worthwhile to write about until we've gone out into the world and lived real life for a couple of years. In other words, our every day experiences shape us--for better or for worse--in ways that can directly correlate to our writing. The more of life's harsh lessons you live through, the more your writing takes on a nuance and discipline you might never have enjoyed before as a novice student.

Now, this is not to say that you had to have personally lived through a Shakespearean tragedy in order to become a good writer, no. However, I will say that age and experience has certainly changed the way that I write my stories now. The stories I wrote in my teen years were whimsical and full of cliches. And while the stuff I write today is still on the far-fetched and tropish side of things to some extent, I have noticed that my writing is oftentimes morally ambiguous now. My protagonists are not always these white-bread paragons of truth and justice, nor are my villains so simply evil for evil's sake. Or at least, I try not to make them so. I still get burned every now and then by my critique group (especially for my thinly constructed antagonists at times), but for the most part my writing reflects the increasingly complex moral world I find myself co-inhabiting with roughly 4.4 billion other hairless apes on this planet. Do any of us really know what we're doing in life? Do we???

Anyway, enough navel gazing for now. In other news . . . expect my weekly Game of Thrones recap to be a little late. I simply haven't had a chance to watch last Sunday's episode yet. But when I do, you'll be the first to hear about it.

In the meantime: how about you? Does this comic strip reflect your own path to becoming a writer? I mean, is your cat really that loyal? Really?

Think about it.

Ep. 16 Recap: "The Old Gods and the New"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."
Ep. 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal."


Episode 16: "The Old Gods and the New"
Original Air Date:  May 6, 2012.
Directed by:  David Nutter.
Written by:  Vanessa Taylor.


At the end of last week's review, I mentioned how there had been some rumblings among the general viewership that things were getting a little too dark in this show for some viewers to handle. And I remarked that nothing we've seen so far would come close to how dark the storyline will truly get if they continued to stick with the books.

This week we got a chance to see those words come true. Seven Hells, this was one brutal episode! And yet, it makes my heart sing. For this is exactly the tone of the books! This episode came closest to capturing the dark, twisted brilliance of the author's mind than any other this season and before. Yes, exactly.

So let us get started, shall we? Let us find out how . . .

Ep. 15 Recap: "The Ghost of Harrenhal"

Previous Game of Thrones Season 2 episode recaps:
Ep. 11: "The North Remembers."
Ep. 12: "The Night Lands."
Ep. 13: "What Is Dead May Never Die."
Ep. 14: "Garden of Bones."


Episode 15: "The Ghost of Harrenhal"
Air Date:  April 29, 2012.
Directed by:  David Petrarca.
Written by:  David Benioff & D.B. Weiss.


Oooh, a chilling title for what I'm sure will be a chilling episode, especially given how last week's showing, "Garden of Bones," ended on such a deliciously dark and horrific note. Knowing what I already know about which parts of the book tonight's episode roughly covers, I sat down in front of the tube already expecting a few more gruesome killings than usual for this show. And one notable death in particular. But, I'm getting ahead of things. Let us begin from the, er, beginning . . .

This Week's Quick Thrones Funny

The mid-season finale of South Park aired this past Wednesday, and what a pleasant surprise it was to find a Game of Thrones reference thrown in there:





So I guess this confirms that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are Thrones fans. Kewl! And is it just me, or did anyone wish that Cartman would just shut up and let Mr. Garrison carry on with his lecture in peace? It was certainly a more entertaining history lesson than I ever remember receiving in primary school.

On a side note, please excuse the bizarre sound quality. I don't know how this guy recorded this clip, but the voices are a bit off. Also, I would imagine this will be taken down from Youtube in short order, so get in while you still can--and enjoy!