Friday, October 31, 2008

Don't Misconfuse Me

Just thought I'd clarify something peculiar with me for some folk. All throughout my life, but especially starting in high school, I've always been called "quiet." Fine, I admit, I am very quiet. I keep to myself, always have. But what I don't like is when people mistake my need for solitude with being shy or even unfriendly.


Just because I don't grin like an idiot at every person I meet or go out of my way to introduce myself does not make me shy. And just because I can't *stand* making small talk and asking you about things I really don't care about (hey, how bout them Giants?) doesn't mean I'm some uncaring bastard who doesn't like making friends.

I like friends. I have a bunch, and they're all cool people. Most of my friends are folks who, for one reason or another, have been able to instantly look past my quietude and see that I'm actually a decent person. So they don't see me as cold at all. But even most of my friends think of me as shy. I don't get it. I'm actually the opposite of shy. I'll stand in your face and tell you off if you cross me, and I've always surprised people with my public speaking ability. Just because I don't talk doesn't mean I don't know how to, or to do so LOUDLY. There's few things I'm afraid of in this world, and other people's opinions are not on that list.

I'm usually not one to strike up a conversation. But if you talk to me, I will converse back. I'm never rude like truly socially inept people are. When I'm by myself, I'm actually lost in furious thought. What I mean is, there are a thousand things going on in my head at any given time. Quite often, if you see me sitting down staring off into space -- I'm not ignoring you. I'm working on two separate story ideas; or revising my grocery list; or pondering the thought of growing old; or marveling at why kids are so care free and full of life (and why can't we be more like them?)

You see, sometimes I have so much to think about that I actually *forget* there are other people around me. If you're not speaking to me directly, my brain switches to another gear and entertains itself. :)

Anyway, now you know. There was no particular reason for me to write all this, just that I noticed on the elevator ride up to the office that people fidget and shift around me when trying to come up with something--ANYTHING--to talk about. And I just want to say: relax, man. Why can't you just stand still and enjoy the elevator ride in peace?

Are people so afraid to be left alone with their own thoughts?


  1. virgos! we are so misunderstood. i have the opposite problem. i'm pretty chatty and laughy and friendly. and people take me to be social. haha! and i wince when they invite me to large gatherings and such. i tell them i'm anti and they think it's ridiculous, because i come across as so open and friendly.

    but really, social gatherings with a bunch of strangers? it doesn't scare me. it just doesn't interest me.

  2. Yup! We're opposite in our approach, but the endgame is all the same with us Virgos. Leave us alone, and no one gets hurt -- LOL!

    Btw, Cindy, see my entry on San Diego today. Have you ever heard of that store? I think it would be the perfect venue to promote your book, whenever that happens.

    I know, I know . . . one step at a time, yeah? :)

  3. You know I know. You pretty much summed up how we both are. I'm just a little bit more extroverted. Just a little bit. Mostly when I'm around my friends. I AM an Aries. But we're both Dragons. Fire Dragons. Nothing is shy about us! But, yeah, people just don't seem to feel comfortable THINKING to themselves anymore. I don't get it.


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