Friday, February 11, 2011

Hell Is A Highway . . .

Every six weeks or so (more frequently if we're talking between Thanksgiving and New Year's), I head to the nearest parking garage around my way and rent out a Zipcar for a few hours. I love Zipcar! It allows me to go without owning a car in the city, and yet still get errands done which absolutely must get done with a car. Mostly, this means shopping for household items. More often that not, this also means heading out to Costco and stocking up on all the bulky items we need in the house for the next 2 -3 months.

So, today I went online and requested a Zipcar from 11:30am - 4:30pm. Zipcar has arrangements with indoor parking garages all across the city, by which they pay for spaces and keep 6 or 8 of their cars permanently on hand for clients to rent out. You go online, enter in the time you want, and then see if any cars are available for that period in the garage nearest to where you are. Sometimes you need to do this days in advance because the service is so popular in big cities, and slots fill up fast.

So, I got a Honda Civic today, walked over to the garage, found the car in its spot, and drove off for a fun day of adventure at Costco, Target, and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Note that I'm being sarcastic here.

Anyway, you know? The shopping wasn't even the worst part! No, the worst part was dealing with so many stupid drivers on the highway. And it always happens at the same exact spot -- the on-ramp to the George Washington Bridge! This exit is two lanes wide on a three-lane highway, but yet jackoffs constantly clog up the 3rd lane--the left-most one--trying to cut ahead of everyone and then recut their way back into the ramp lanes a mile later. Naturally this means all of who use the left lane and who are NOT getting on the bridge have to suffer.

So I'm sitting there crawling through bumper-to-bumper traffic in the third lane and wondering: who are these assholes? What is so damn important that they have to get to so quickly? And what makes them think they're so special as to be able to get out of line, block a lane they don't even need, and then cut back into the original line in order to get up the ramp before everyone else? I mean, WTF????

Would you ever do this standing on line at the movies? Or at Disney World? No. Because not only is it an asshole thing to do, but the other people in line will chew your ass out! I would just love if for one day all the other drivers patiently waiting to get onto the ramp would just grow a collective pair and actively lock these asswipes out from getting back into the queue. I know, I know . . . not possible. And, if anything, it would only lock up the third lane even worse.

Still, these are the moments where I can see why "road rage" is a term someone had to invent. If you're not a driver, it's hard to fathom how one could possibly get so angry on the road. That is until you see first-hand just how unbelievably clueless some drivers are.


Anyone else have a pet peeve of the road that absolutely irks you beyond all sane reason? Sound off in the comments section below.


Botanist said...

Well, I don't have to contend with anything like your big city traffic, David, but I do see very similar behaviour going in & out of Victoria...drivers scooting down a long left-turn-only lane, bypassing the traffic waiting patiently at the lights, and expecting to merge back in.

But another pet peeve is when drivers merging on to the highway just have to use every last inch of the merge lane to squeeze at the last minute into the gap between you and the car in front, instead of holding off on the throttle oh-so-slightly and pulling into the honking great void behind. The best bit is, these ass-wipes usually then pull straight into the fast lane anyway, so what was the point of inserting themselves so forcefully in yer face like that?

Yvonne said...

YES! lol I absolutely hate drivers who get so close to me that they are practically ON my car! Never mind that we are in bumper to bumper traffic. Where the hell do they expect me to go? Oh and then they have the audacity to honk at me! Yeah, because that's going to make me go faster! Pfft!

David Batista said...

Ian -- Yes, I see that a lot too. Arrrgh! Hate that!

Yvonne -- Don't even get me started on tailgaters. I had the same situation as you describe happen to me during the same traffic jam. I was keeping at least one car length ahead of me, but the drive behind me was damn near on my license plate the whole time. Again, arrrgh!

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